Why can't women enjoy sex?

This is why I'm glad I live in the UK. The BBFC (our version of the MPAA) are much less hung up on sex. The sex/violence/language balance for ratings seems much more sensible over here.
 
It's always been considered taboo for a woman to openly admit she likes sex. I'm not sure why, and that double standard has always driven me crazy. When I was in college I was thought of as a slut because I openly admitted that I liked having sex. My aunt actually said to me "If you get an STD, I don't want to hear you complaining, because that's what you deserve." However a guy friend of mine could brag about having been with more than 30 women and people would be high-fiving him. It's disgusting and degrading, as if men can do whatever they want with no punishment, but women should never do anything unless they're given permission to.
 
Seeing Red said:
The first thing that comes to mind for me is the movie Cruel Intentions, you hear Kathryn enjoying sex but never see her having it. I don't believe I have ever seen a movie where a female is enoying herself. I would this would be because the people who rate the movies don't want the movie to seem like a porno.
Click to expand...
I noticed this as well she was very comfortable with her sexuality and they didn't show it. I noticed that they do have a lot of sex scenes in movies but they are usually from the male perspective.

Just a question is it like this in other countries as well? I noticed that the UK is very different on their rating systems. So I was wondering.
 
Scobro said:
why? explain
Click to expand...

Been on the mobile 'til now, so I didn't see this rep. Any readers who haven't seen "Black Swan yet, but wants to stay unspoilered in case you decide to see it later: Consider yourself warned. I'm going to discuss the ending.

What bugged me so much, was that after seeing this repressed little girl in a soon-to-be woman's body get in touch with said body and start to explore it, she had to die. To see her lying there with that rose of blood on the white costume just reeked so much of sex = bad to me.
 
Scarlett Blade
Scarlett Blade
[No message]
I think that what we're dealing with goes way back to when people lived in much more primitive societies and comes down to the fact that if a man has sex with a different woman every night for a week he can father seven children, but if a woman has sex with a different man every night for a week she can only become pregnant once and won't know who the father is (and therefore who's responsible for protecting her and the child). If you look at the Old Testament, God gave the Israelites quite strict orders about not breeding outside their people group, for example, because their identity as God's chosen people would have been threatened had their women been allowed to take partners from other societies. It's essentially a tribal mindset which sees control of women's sexuality as crucial to preserving the purity of the race.
 
Ianigsy said:
I think that what we're dealing with goes way back to when people lived in much more primitive societies and comes down to the fact that if a man has sex with a different woman every night for a week he can father seven children, but if a woman has sex with a different man every night for a week she can only become pregnant once and won't know who the father is (and therefore who's responsible for protecting her and the child). If you look at the Old Testament, God gave the Israelites quite strict orders about not breeding outside their people group, for example, because their identity as God's chosen people would have been threatened had their women been allowed to take partners from other societies. It's essentially a tribal mindset which sees control of women's sexuality as crucial to preserving the purity of the race.
Click to expand...

Well to be clear, not everyone's sexual practices or choice of partner will lead to pregnancy. 😉 I don't know if it really goes back to primitive societies and all that (not a scientist or anthropologist 😛), but if it does, I think that says something interesting not only about the oppression of women, but of sexuality in general, especially if you examine what those attitudes have evolved into today. Or how much they haven't evolved, depending on how you look at it.
 
I haven't read through the entire thread, but I have personally noticed this. It's because we live in a sexist world where men think they control EVERYTHING and don't want women to have control of themselves or their lives in any way, shape, or form. And in their eyes if it's a woman's choice it's wrong, but if it's a man's it must be right. So it's rated accordingly.
 
This sort of thing reminds me of how in a movie if there is a homosexual sex scene or if there is even a kiss between two homosexuals, the film will usually get a different rating to what it would get if the kiss/sex scene was between two heterosexuals. I think the whole thing is just based off of Social Norms. It's stupid and frustrating, yes, but it's also something we can not avoid.

prophecygrrl agrees: Yeah. And there's that other double standard the MPAA loves, where a sex/kiss scene between two men gets a significantly harsher rating than one between two women.
Click to expand...

It's the same in every country I'd say. We get it here in Australia and I imagine that some people feel offended by it. What they're doing, I consider to be discrimination and that bothers me. They need to pull their heads in and realize that everyone on this planet is equal and they need to understand that. /idealist
 
Last edited:
P
prophecygrrl
Yeah. And there's that other double standard the MPAA loves, where a sex/kiss scene between two men gets a significantly harsher rating than one between two women.
Buffyheaven said:
I think the whole thing is just based off of Social Norms. It's stupid and frustrating, yes, but it's also something we can not avoid.
Click to expand...

But why is it something we can't change? Most people on this thread are acknowledging it as something very unfair. That's a step towards change, I think. 🙂
 
prophecygrrl said:
But why is it something we can't change? Most people on this thread are acknowledging it as something very unfair. That's a step towards change, I think. 🙂
Click to expand...

In my last post, I said that the main problem here is that it's discrimination (I edited it.) and I think that it's actually fairly equal as to who feels that change is necessary to those who don't. This board is made to discuss a certain TV show, and that is the Buffy The Vampire Franchise. Now you look at the show that we follow, and one of the main things people see when they look at it is the character of Willow. She was a lesbian and the show featured quite a few lesbian kisses. Most people here are HAPPY that those sort of things are featured in the show we love, but that's a small majority of people within this site, and if they weren't turned off because of the kiss, then they probably don't care anyways. There are a LOT of people out there who approve of this discrimination though, it's stupid, yes, but it won't stop for a very long time /realist
 
The MPAA is super corrupt. I mean if you look it up for like 10 minutes there are tons and tons of info about how they basically use ratings to control the media. They even take bribes.
 
Z
zobothehobo
I know. it's terrible.
Because if the secret got out that women actually enjoy sex, the world would implode and all young girls would get pregnant immediately and turn into hookers. That's sound logic.

...wait, what?
 
Scarlett Blade
Scarlett Blade
so true! :P
I guess maybe I was just raised so much different than a lot of you were, but I've never been in the atmosphere where I believed women didn't enjoy sex or weren't allowed to express that.
 
Kryptonite said:
I guess maybe I was just raised so much different than a lot of you were, but I've never been in the atmosphere where I believed women didn't enjoy sex or weren't allowed to express that.
Click to expand...

Agree. It was always drilled in my head that I should have sex because I feel comfortable about it and when I am going to enjoy it, and not because the guy is. But it's astonshing to see this prejudice against women enjoying sex still present. I thought we had moved on from all that stigmatism years ago. *Sigh*
 
I can't not think about Buffy at this point. I get the impression that Buffy (Summers, the character) loves sex. It always seemed to me this way. And when she first does it, it was (probably, we didn't actually see it) gentle and with the guy she loves. Then she sleeps with Parker, who she doesn't know for that long. And he dumps her, and she thinks of herself she's a slut. That bothers me a little. Is she a slut just 'cause she slept with a guy she just met? It's not like she sleeps around with evey guy she sees. But she's obviously enjoys the sex. Then she has a new boyfriend, Riley, and they clearly sleep together a lot. She's not counted as a slut, because he's her boyfriend.
And then there's Spike, who clearly is a very good lover for her. She enjoys sex with him so much, she can't stop. It makes her feel good. But she feels bad about it feeling good. She doesn't really enjoys the way it makes her feel. She likes how the sex feels, but not the thought of that she enjoys it.

So I'm really wondering about Buffy and her sex. I'm not sure I really said what I meant to say, not sure what I'm trying to say. I hope you got my head though.
 
Chosen Enemy said:
I can't not think about Buffy at this point. I get the impression that Buffy (Summers, the character) loves sex. It always seemed to me this way. And when she first does it, it was (probably, we didn't actually see it) gentle and with the guy she loves. Then she sleeps with Parker, who she doesn't know for that long. And he dumps her, and she thinks of herself she's a slut. That bothers me a little. Is she a slut just 'cause she slept with a guy she just met? It's not like she sleeps around with evey guy she sees. But she's obviously enjoys the sex. Then she has a new boyfriend, Riley, and they clearly sleep together a lot. She's not counted as a slut, because he's her boyfriend.
Click to expand...
Here I think it's important to note there's a difference between being a slut (or doing something slutty) and feeling like a slut. I think Buffy felt like a slut because her expectations were different from what she got. She expected to be in a relationship with him and found he just wanted sex. So she ended up feeling cheap and like she had given sex away for nothing.

And then there's Spike, who clearly is a very good lover for her. She enjoys sex with him so much, she can't stop. It makes her feel good. But she feels bad about it feeling good. She doesn't really enjoys the way it makes her feel. She likes how the sex feels, but not the thought of that she enjoys it.
Click to expand...
I don't think it's that she doesn't like the thought that she enjoys sex. She doesn't like that she enjoys sex with Spike who at this point she's supposed to hate. She also doesn't like that she no longer really hates him because part of her really relates to him and feels him inside of her. Both metaphorically and physically for the later bit.


But in general, I wold say yes, Buffy enjoys sex.
 
zobothehobo said:
Here I think it's important to note there's a difference between being a slut (or doing something slutty) and feeling like a slut. I think Buffy felt like a slut because her expectations were different from what she got. She expected to be in a relationship with him and found he just wanted sex. So she ended up feeling cheap and like she had given sex away for nothing.
Click to expand...

I was pointing out what she was feeling at that point, I myself don't think she was a slut sleeping with Parker. Although I love how you explained what happened there!

I don't think it's that she doesn't like the thought that she enjoys sex. She doesn't like that she enjoys sex with Spike who at this point she's supposed to hate. She also doesn't like that she no longer really hates him because part of her really relates to him and feels him inside of her. Both metaphorically and physically for the later bit.
Click to expand...

Yeah, that's exactly what I meant. I guess I didn't describe it well enough. And since I tried to say exactly what you managed to say, I agree completely!
 
Z
zobothehobo
Agreeing with people is fun! :)
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom