Why people hate Xander?

[November]

Xander reminds me of the drop kick "nice guys", I just dont enjoy his personality that much. Simple as that.

 

[XanderesqueMan]

It’s because Millennials and Gen X have grown up with a Xander in high school.

Loyal? Loving? Funny? Brave? Kind? I hope so. Everyone should be so lucky.

Also compared to other characters Xander is more ‘bland’. He isn’t a supernatural creature and doesn’t have an ability.

I suppose someone could see him that way. But he is, in fact, the bravest member of the Scooby Gang (given he has no powers or special knowledge, nor is he even a genius) and has been crucial to saving the world literally every time it's been necessary, and Buffy herself many times besides —

• Saved Buffy with CPR in "Prophecy Girl."
• Figured out the Judge could be killed with a rocket launcher in "Innocence."
• He kept Buffy from potentially being killed or taken by Angelus at the hospital in "Killed by Death."
• He didn't tell Buffy that Willow was trying to save Angel, ensuring she wouldn't hold back against Angelus and risk the end of the world in "Becoming."
• He stopped Jack and the zombies from blowing up the school (which would have killed Buffy and the others and allowed the Hellmouth to open) in "The Zeppo."
• His knowledge of military tactics was crucial to defeating the Mayor in "Graduation Day."
• It was his idea to combine Willow, Giles, and Buffy in "Primeval," which defeated Adam.
• He stopped the Bringers from getting Dawn when they assault the Summers house (I can't recall the episode right now, sorry.)
• He was crucial to slowing down Glory in "The Gift."
• He stopped Dark Willow in "Grave."

To name just a few times he's proven indispensible to the gang and Buffy herself.

 

[twoslayers]

The other thing actually about Xander: he hurts the women he's involved with, really needlessly. Hurts Cordelia by having a sort of affair with Willow, hurts Willow just as much (and as a bonus also hurts Oz for that matter), hurts Anya leaving her at the altar. All selfish, all needless. That's a big part of why I see him as kind of a jerk.

 

[XanderesqueMan]

The other thing actually about Xander: he hurts the women he's involved with, really needlessly. Hurts Cordelia by having a sort of affair with Willow, hurts Willow just as much (and as a bonus also hurts Oz for that matter), hurts Anya leaving her at the altar. All selfish, all needless. That's a big part of why I see him as kind of a jerk.

I can think of two things he's done wrong in relationships, both of which are completely normal, human things and understandable (which is not to say right.) He kissed Willow a few times after realizing he has feelings for his lifelong best friend, most notably when he thought the two of them were going to die at the hands of Spike. And he realized he wasn't ready for marriage too late when an external force exposed him to a vision of his personal nightmare—becoming his father and hurting the woman he loves. So his sins are a lack of control over newfound feelings for the person he loves most in the world and fear of being abusive. What a monster. 🙄

He also:

• Went with Buffy to fight vampires because Willow was in danger.
• Risked his life to rescue Jenny, Coredlia, and Willow from the Master's minions.
• Jumped through flames to save Cordelia.
• Confronted Buffy over her lack of empathy towards Anya, even physically stopping her from killing her.
• Tried to protect Willow and Anya from Olaf, a troll with superstrength.
• Refused to choose between Willow and Anya when Olaf threatened them.
• Kept Cordelia's secret that she was broke.
• Paid for Cordelia's prom dress in secret when she couldn't afford it.
• Protected Cordelia from a werewolf.
• After a love spell went awry (yes, his mistake), protected Cordelia from Harmony, a mob of girls, and even Drusilla.
• Kept Larry's secret that he was gay.
• Jumped on the back of a demon to protect Buffy.
• Got into a fight with a much larger, more muscular man to rescue Buffy from a cult.
• Faced off with Angelus when he threatened Buffy in the hospital.
• Faced off with Jack and the other zombies when he wanted to run away to save Buffy and Willow.
• Tried to get Faith the help she needed at great personal danger to himself.
• Risked his life to find and save Buffy from the Master, not knowing what he was walking into.
• Risked his life to rescue Willow from an Inca Mummy Girl.
• Helped save Faith by running a demon over.

Among a million other times we all know about that he risked life and limb for, or put aside his own feelings to protect and comfort, the women in his life. He's not perfect, but I think to call him a jerk as an overall judgement on his character isn't fair. If he's a jerk for a couple of mistakes, what is the rest of the cast, most of whom have done just as bad or worse? When we judge somebody's moral character, we generally weigh the balance of their actions, good and bad, and see what side the scale tilts most heavily towards. And, for Xander, that scale obviously selfless, brave, loyal, protective, and loving, despite there being some weight on the other side of the scale at times ('cause, you know, he's a human being.)

 

[DeepBlueJoy]

I think a lot of the new Xander hate is just disguised Nick Brendon hate.

While the show was on, those of us who watched learned to like or dislike Xander.

A lot of newer fans come to a show starring a man they believe is lower than vile garbage. So they don't see anything good in him and won"t. Some are wilfully fauxmoralsuperiority obligated to hate Xander, even if he is being likeable. When you have this level of cult of moralistic obligation, nothing he ever does will be good enough for even tolerance.

Yes, Nick Brendon deserves at least some dislike and disgust, but Xander was a lot nicer than a lot of boys and men I have known especially young ones.

Still, just as seeing creepy child rapist Cordy affected Charisma's future career, real life Nick spilled over in the other direction into his perception as Xander.

People separate reality and fiction quite poorly.

Actor Paul Johansson was attacked for the actions of his character, semi-villain Dan Scott.

 

[SavvyScoobie]

@thrasherpix he wasn’t involuntarily celibate, so yeah he’s not an incel!

Post automatically merged: Today at 12:36 AM

I can think of two things he's done wrong in relationships, both of which are completely normal, human things and understandable (which is not to say right.) He kissed Willow a few times after realizing he has feelings for his lifelong best friend, most notably when he thought the two of them were going to die at the hands of Spike. And he realized he wasn't ready for marriage too late when an external force exposed him to a vision of his personal nightmare—becoming his father and hurting the woman he loves. So his sins are a lack of control over newfound feelings for the person he loves most in the world and fear of being abusive. What a monster. 🙄

Xander’s fears were totally understandable, but his communication was horrendous. He’s a human, I get it. He will make mistakes.

He still hurt Anya, and then made comments to her after the breakup.

 

[AlphaFoxtrot]

Seriously, Xander has had sex with every female character on the show except Buffy. We know with Anya and Faith. Cordelia is a maybe. Had he applied himself, Willow and Kendra. And Dawn. That means, the one woman on the show who looked at Xander and said no was Buffy. Not an incel. Which is stupid anyways. A system that distributes scarce resources in an fundamentally unequal way breeding resentment and discontent, lame. A sales tax on tampons? Get the handmaiden robes.

I don't really get that either. Teenage girls are brutal to towards each other in ways that would make the First blush. But Xander calls Cordie a slut and everyone loses their minds!