Why the drama?

[buffetofsporks]

Okay, this is going to come as a shock to you all, but I'm actually going to present a thought provoking thread. Here goes...

I've noticed recently that these boards have become privy to some pretty heated arguments amongst members. I can think of at least five completely seperate threads posted in the last month that have resulted in name-calling and personal attacks. The funny thing is it's not always the same person starting it. In fact, a lof of times, both sides seem to be slinging the same amount of mud making it hard to tell who indeed "started it".

Someone is telling someone else that their opinion is wrong. The other person is telling them that they're pieces of shit for disagreeing. It almost always dives into semantics, and who said what, and what this or that came off as sounding like...All in all, it's not fun to read and REALLY puts people off from responding to the topic at hand, whatever it may be.

My point is, I've been a member of these boards for over 4 years...even though I'm considered a newbie by some because of my post count. So I can safely tell everyone reading this that it really did not used to be this way at all. There would be disagreements, of course. There are always going to be disagreements. They were just handled much better, and in a more mature way. There's no real way to explain it.

I know there's been some big time drama these past couple of months, and I definitely do not want anyone to rehash their opinions on all that. All I want to know is, what do you think is the problem? Is there a problem?

When/why did things start taking a turn for the worst? Was this how it always was, and I just wasn't around enough to notice it?

I definitely don't want this thread to turn into the threads that I've already described. I'm just curious as to what people think the reason is behind all the negativity on the board and whether or not they think there is a solution.

 

[Washburne]

I have to admit that I wasn't sure if I was gonna post. But as I say below I'm one of the people that can have a hard time keeping my mouth shut.

Is there a problem?

I think most people are aware that there's a problem. The thing is that not everyone sees the same thing as the problem.

All I want to know is, what do you think is the problem?

There's more than one factor playing a part but one big thing to me is that people blame everyone else and don't want to take responsibility for their own part. It's not one person or even one side (no matter where you stand in any discussion) that's to blame. Mistakes and bad behavior have been made by a lot of people and on both sides. It's the mix that makes it end so badly. And of course you can't ignore the fact that some people just can't walk away and stop posting. Which I've been guilty of a few times myself. You know you shouldn't respond but somehow you end up doing it all the same and even if your intentions are good it just makes things worse.

Was this how it always was, and I just wasn't around enough to notice it?

From what I've gathered (since I haven't been here that long) the board have had it's up and downs before. But has it always been like this? Definitely not.

When/why did things start taking a turn for the worst?

Things happen gradually so it's not like you can point at one certain thing or point in time when it all started. But there's definitely been a mayor change since I became a member. So if you want to put the blame on me that's fine. 😉 I think it's a mix of some people becoming members, maybe some returning members and the way they handle things/behave. Then you got people taking their behaviour a certain way (be it right or wrong) and they start reacting to that and then you got the ball rolling. And as Buffy mentioned in another thread "this forum is declining because we backed off, we allowed people to argue more, we asked them to not get so offended at things. And some people decided that that makes it okay to call other people stupid, and lazy, and ignorant. And it's not." So people either started complaining to the mods that nothing got done or started to get back to the members the way they felt they treated others and so the annoyance grew. If you think it's bad now you should read the threads from back then. On second thought, no you shouldn't.

So the admins decided enough is enough and did something about it which they hoped would help. But a lot of people took the action the complete opposite way to what the admins had hoped. So in the end it just made things between the staff and the members very tense. The treatment from some members towards the staff (not a one time thing) got two mods to leave and members now cried even more for action to be made. So the staff took some time and tried to figure out the best solution. And they came to the conclusion that they needed to ban people and that's now there we are. We still have a lot of work to do to get this board back to the place it once was but I feel we're at least moving in the right direction.

Things don't go from harmony to disaster over night and it doesn't change back over a night either. It's up to the members to get this place back to what it was. If we can't handle it I'm afraid we'll see even more bannings in the future. Nothing no one really wants but if nothing else seems to help what do you do? The mods plead for months to get us to improve our behaviour (as a whole) but sadly it didn't work.