Why the exclusive 'shipping?

[Professor Walsh]

A lot of us are enamoured with the idea of the perfect first love in fiction, be it on the screen or on paper. I am one; there is no hiding the wistful little smile I get when thinking of Buffy, Angel and cookie dough. Yet I know, really, that for most of us I know that the route to happiness doesn't lie in staying with our high school sweetheart until the end of our days. Looking at BtVS, I can see clear qualities in Buffy's relationships with both Angel, Riley and Spike, and also Willow's different relationships. What we need at different stages of growing into who we are becoming differs.

Why do so many root intensely for one particular relationship that all others are excluded as uninteresting or wrong?

 

[Kean]

I have been a Bangel shipper from the very beginning. It is probably what hooked me about the show initially. Why do I ship Bangel above all others? because I believe in it, cuz Buffy was never happier than when she was with Angel, becuase they made each other better people, becuase they made each other feel safe, they trusted each other, they had enough forsight to let each other go when they needed to no matter what it cost their hearts, becuase they still love each other, because they can have other relationships and somehow still find each other again, becuase none of these other relationships have ever come close to being what they had and still have, because the two of them loving each other was the whole point.

🙂

 

[Sweetescape]

I've never really got the ships, i don't have a favorite couple that stands out from all the others. I guess i could see the positives and negative in each relationship and just enjoyed them while they lasted.

 

[Kali]

I like Bangel and Spuffy - each have their own merits. Bangel for the Romeo and Juliet romance - IMO he's the last man she will ever truly trust and give herself to fully' (right up to the point where he became Angelus, and from then on she realised men were doomed to always let you down at some point). But I love Spuffy for the hot and heavies. Oh, the hot and heavies. I miss those. And in a way, it almost seemed more of a realistic relationship. They were more.... grown up, less puppy dog eyed about each other (oh, puppy... naked, bruised, burnt and battered Angel, bad Kali, BAD KALI!)

Course Ruffy had some damned good H&H as well, but of a different quality to Spuffy.

Even with Woz and Tillow - i think intellectually Woz was the biz (can I say if ever a wiz there Woz at that point?) but spiritually, I can see Tillow had better credentials. So I don't dig on one particular 'ship, I like them all for different reasons. Not loyal to any specific one, just depends on my mood.

 

[Blondie Bear]

I've been a Spuffy for most of my Buffyholic career, but it's mostly because I like Spike so much. I think every relationship on the show is important in its own way and serves its own purpose . . . except Killow. Bleh.

 

[AndrewCrossett]

I don't know that I can put my finger on a specific reason for liking one specific 'ship more than others. I think it all just depends on the emotional resonance each one has with a particular viewer/reader. For me, I think it's all in the way it's written. I'm attracted to the 'ships I think would make the characters happiest... although we all know what a fool's game that is in the Jossverse. I can't help it.

I've never felt that one preferred 'ship had to invalidate others, though. I never try to disparage or "debunk" another fan's favored 'ship, and hate it when people do that to mine.

 

[xaphania]

I can't think of a specific reason as to why I like Spuffy more than any of the other ships. It's just the one that caught my interest and held it, so much so that when I finished the series and sought out some fanfic, that's what I looked for.

I don't hate Buffy/Angel or Buffy/Riley - those relationships were right at that point in the series. But I just prefer Spuffy, and that's what I want to read in fic.

I don't really understand why people hate other ships so vehemently, or try to prove one is better than the other, because in the end it all just comes down to personal taste, and if someone is set on one ship you're not likely to change their mind about it.

 

[Spuffy78]

To me I can personally more or less relate to the Spuffy and Sprusilia relationship. Not to mention to me Spuffy was a little more realistic of how I would say some relationships are it least one's I've had. To me they seemed a little more realistic than Bangel or Briley and I used to like Bangel.

In terms of enjoying Spuffy above all else it's the on-screen connection and what James and Sarah bring out of their characters when they're together even when they weren't a couple.

 

[Joan the Vampire Slayer]

I've been a Spuffy for most of my Buffyholic career, but it's mostly because I like Spike so much. I think every relationship on the show is important in its own way and serves its own purpose . . . except Killow. Bleh.

Blondie Bear just took the words right out of my mouth.

Everyone on here knows I can't stand Bangel (Except for "Amends", which I love.) I mean, it's not like I hate it so much I won't watch it. It just never held my interest.

---------- Post added at 10:22 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:04 AM ----------

Buffy was never happier than when she was with Angel, becuase they made each other better people, becuase they made each other feel safe, they trusted each other, they had enough forsight to let each other go when they needed to no matter what it cost their hearts, becuase they still love each other, because they can have other relationships and somehow still find each other again, becuase none of these other relationships have ever come close to being what they had and still have, because the two of them loving each other was the whole point.

🙂

Alright Kean, I'm going to have to disagree with you on a few points. Buffy was hardly happy with Angel, and Angel was hardly happy with Buffy. They had alot of forces working against them and they always knew it would never work in the long run. They had different destinies. After the whole losing his soul thing - which hurt Buffy very much - they struggled with knowing what would happen if they really gave in to how they felt. Sounds pretty crappy to me.
Remember when Buffy tells Willow that she doesn't think there can be love without pain? On some level Buffy (like Spike) is addicted to pain and associates love with it. A "normal" relationship is difficult for her to sustain (like Briley) because there was no pain, struggle, or the like. Love is pain, and the Slayer forges strength from pain, yes?

I agree with all your points about Angel becoming a better person because of her, etc - but the same could be said about Spuffy. Buffy certainly inspired Spike to be a better man. He got a soul for her. ngel has his soul forced upon him. I think the two vampires are very comparable in how Buffy affected them.

And I also believe Angel loved Cordelia as much, if not more, than Buffy. (*hides)

There is not always a black and white answer about love. Angel will find someone he loves as much as he loved Buffy (if he hasn't already). He has too, and so does she. They have to move on. Even if he did become human, they still couldn't be together (we saw that in IWRY).

AND...what do you mean loving Angel was the whole point? Her romance with him was merely a sub-plot of the show. Yes, it was a good one (we're all suckers for the forbidden love thing) and a vampire in love with a Slayer is a great storyline - but it wasn't the main premise of the show. The main premise was BUFFY, fighting her inner and outer demons and being the Slayer and saving the world, and growing up with her Scoobies. Despite how central it became in S6-7, her "relationship" with Spike was also intended to be a sub-plot and an inportant part of her development.

In response to the shipping - I agree with others when I say that everyone just has a personal preference, a relationship (or two or three) that particularily interests us. For me it's Spuffy (obviously) and always has been. I am constantly fascinated by the complexity of their relationship. Plus, I think Spike is the hottest thing on legs. 😉

 

[Spuffy78]

Queen Rabbit James and Sarah to my recollection never went out. They had a chemistry as if they did though.

 

[Blair Waldorf-Bass]

I really liked all of the relationships in the shows, and I think that they were all important, EXCEPT for Killow. That was just terrible, terrible, terrible.
Each of Buffy's relationships allowed her to grow. It's quite obvious that the most influential one was with Angel. He gave her the gift of a wonderful yet destructive first and true love, and they were made for one another. From Parker (okay, that wasn't really a relationship) she learned that there's guys out there who just wanna get laid and will do pretty much anything to get it. Riley's relationships with her was cute at first but got very annoying after he because something of a stuck-up prat. But the relationship was important because in a way it was much more healthy than any of her other relationships and I can see why it holds that sort of appeal for some people. It was cute and if she'd never met Angel I'm sure the two of them would have gone sailing happily off into the sunset. Her relationship with Spike was not at all healthy. It was about want and lust and need, and it was bad because she was using someone. The fact that Joss wanted us to see a dark side to Buffy is brilliant, but it's one of the reasons that season six isn't exactly one of my most favorite seasons. Did anyone else find it creepy how he stalked her like Angel did? That just very deeply disturbed me about both Angel and Spike. Now, given that in other shows there's stalking. i.e., When Chuck follows Carter to see what he's doing at Blair, but come on, that's the UES, and he has a P.I. on speed-dial, so he gets a pass. I mean, in RL, that's just creepy as [insert swear word here], and I was a bit disturbed, if not by a lot.
Tillow and Cangel are definitely my favorite relationships in the entire show, along with Xanya and Frunn. With Tara, Willow learned what finding your other half, your counterpart, and the love of your life really meant. They were at first quite similar but became opposites, and that's part of the reason why they work. Now Cangel was wonderful. Connor, of course, ruined the entire thing, but they were just so perfect. Xanya was good because it was clear that they weren't like each other at all from the start. They were well-matched and cute and they are just like Tillow, no other person can be paired with these characters and have it work. Frunn was my second favorite relationship in the Angel-verse. I highly disliked how they just pushed Gunn aside and brought Wesley in, it annoyed me to no end. Granted in the end, Wesley was a great guy, but Fred and Gunn just had so much chemistry that you couldn't ignore.

 

[Tueuse de Vampires]

Because Cangel is clearly superior and that's the end of the discussion 😉

Kidding aside, I think the reason for this is that many ships 'contradict' each other. I've stressed many times that I do not hate Bangel, but it should be clear that as a hardcore Cangel I can't really be a hardcore Bangel as well, for one can only exist without the other.
I don't know about everyone else, but I can sort of relate to my favourite ship and identify through it. I know it's not very mature probably, but the best way to 'defend' this shipping identity is to trash the other ships that are standing in the way.

 

[Blair Waldorf-Bass]

I'm such a rockstar I gota say things twice. The board couldn't load properly for me and I pressed post reply twice.

*is confused* Shouldn't that make your post a double-post and merge it into one?

And Cangel, I agree with you.

 

[Revolver]

I'm not really a hardcore shipper. I'm not going to freak out at anyone for disagreeing with me, and frankly, don't understand why anyone would. That said, intellectually, I just don't think Buffy and Angel work. It isn't that I dislike either character, but I can easily think of a million reasons why they shouldn't be together. First of all, you've got to admit that Angel would be a completely creepy dude in real life. A significantly older man who stalks a 16 year year old in the dark of night and then goes on to make out with her all over the place? It's a little weird. That aside, as adults, Angel just couldn't give Buffy what she deserved. It isn't that Angel deserves no one, it's that no one deserves the limited amount of love Angel could give them. As long as Angel was cursed, he and Buffy would always have to keep each other at some distance, emotionally and physically (and if he lost his soul, everyone watch out). For this reason, I really can't see Angel as the right guy for any woman. Assuming he really loved Cordelia, the same problems would have existed there. But if Angel were to become human again, would he then be right for Buffy? Or does she truly need some monster in her man, in the end?

 

[Blondie Bear]

I think if Angel could get his soul and stay all super without a curse (where's Willow when you need her?), I could see Buffy & Angel making an adult go at it. I loved them in IWRY, and would be interested to see if they could make it together without the constant angst.

---------- Post added at 04:39 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:53 PM ----------

Kean agrees: *chokes* Blondie! Where did this come out of?

Well, like I said, the reason I identify as a Spuffy is because I like Spike so much, not necessarily because that relationship was the best thing in the whole wide world. I do think it's a more grown-up, mature relationship than Bangel. The only thing I have against Bangel is that they seemed to have unrealistic expectations of the relationship--or, at least, Buffy did. I kind of see the whole Angel's-a-pervert angle, as well, but at the same time, he wasn't very emotionally mature, either. If they could have a grown-up, mature, healthy relationship, which would require Angel being still supernatural but not at risk of losing his soul, I think Bangel could work. Of course, then it would practically be Spuffy anyway . . . just with a darker, broodier, not quite so fun vampire. 😀

 

[white avenger]

I think that it's pretty common knowledge around the Boards that I prefer Buffy with Spike, but I'm not really sure if I ever bothered to explain just exactly why, so here goes. Spike loves Buffy. He's fought for her, suffered for her, earned his soul for her, and he even died for her. Buffy is Spike's inspiration, practically his very reason for existing. Certainly, the stupid unappreciative little twit doesn't deserve him, and probably never will, but that's not my concern. Having her makes Spike happy, so I want him to have her, at least until he gets fed up with her. Then he can drain her and go find someone who really deserves him. (Faith, for instance. Put those two in a room together, and they wouldn't tear the house down, they would burn it down.) Buffy is the prize that he has aimed for, and, for his sake alone, I think that he should have her.

As for Buffy with Angel, I think that ultimately that would be about as interesting as watching paint dry. He sits in one corner brooding while she sits in the opposite corner crying.

And for the record, Cordy should have Angel under the same conditions as Spike has Buffy. Just until she gets sick and tired of his constant brooding. Then she can stick a stake in him and go back to her real love, Xander. Though I'm not really sure that she really deserves him.

 

[Joan the Vampire Slayer]

I think that it's pretty common knowledge around the Boards that I prefer Buffy with Spike, but I'm not really sure if I ever bothered to explain just exactly why, so here goes. Spike loves Buffy. He's fought for her, suffered for her, earned his soul for her, and he even died for her. Buffy is Spike's inspiration, practically his very reason for existing. Certainly, the stupid unappreciative little twit doesn't deserve him, and probably never will, but that's not my concern. Having her makes Spike happy, so I want him to have her, at least until he gets fed up with her. Then he can drain her and go find someone who really deserves him. (Faith, for instance. Put those two in a room together, and they wouldn't tear the house down, they would burn it down.) Buffy is the prize that he has aimed for, and, for his sake alone, I think that he should have her.

As for Buffy with Angel, I think that ultimately that would be about as interesting as watching paint dry. He sits in one corner brooding while she sits in the opposite corner crying.

And for the record, Cordy should have Angel under the same conditions as Spike has Buffy. Just until she gets sick and tired of his constant brooding. Then she can stick a stake in him and go back to her real love, Xander. Though I'm not really sure that she really deserves him.

My god, this post is brilliant, white avenger. I TOTALLY agree.

Take that Bangel-shippers 😉

---------- Post added at 03:51 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:39 PM ----------

First of all, you've got to admit that Angel would be a completely creepy dude in real life. A significantly older man who stalks a 16 year year old in the dark of night and then goes on to make out with her all over the place? It's a little weird.

I completely agree with this. Yet, no one seems to ever think it's strange that Angel "fell in love" with Buffy after seeing her through her window crying. After spying on her for God knows how long until he made himself known? She was what, like 15 when he first saw her?

Don't get me wrong. I think Angel is a very interesting character. He's one of my favorites...but there is something a little strange about his fascination with her.

 

[Blair Waldorf-Bass]

I completely agree with this. Yet, no one seems to ever think it's strange that Angel "fell in love" with Buffy after seeing her through her window crying. After spying on her for God knows how long until he made himself known? She was what, like 15 when he first saw her?

Don't get me wrong. I think Angel is a very interesting character. He's one of my favorites...but there is something a little strange about his fascination with her.

You know Bangels are going to counter this with the fact that Spike stalked Buffy? He did it so much more than Angel did, to the extent where he stood in front of her house when she was sleeping with someone else and stalked her boyfriend, I mean, that is really REALLY creepy.

 

[Blondie Bear]

^ True, but she was over 18 by then. 😀

 

[Revolver]

Plus that's pitting Angel with a soul against Spike without a soul. Pre-soul, I couldn't begin to count the number of reasons Spike would be wrong for Buffy.