Why was Buffy so cruel to Spike?

Like I said in some other thread..I think she saw in him what she saw in herself, same as to why she didnt' really care for faith in s4 beyond..besides faith trying to kill her..her friends..and family..If you noticed she referred to him as a "thing", and a "monster", also "you're nothing"...I think she was talking about herself..notice HOW she said it. To me that translated as "I am nothing..I'm a monster..I don't mean anything". It wasn't that she had just died and came back..but if you want to be technical she died years ago..and I guess sometimes it is just too hard to feel something, because then you come to terms with the negative aspects of yourself. Spike understood the good, and bad of her..and didn't care..he accepted that and knew she was a good person. But for some reason she felt that she NEEDED to be punished.
 
W
William The Bloody
OMG! So beautifully said... *sniff sniff*
I don't think it was that she didn't love him, but she had just closed herself and her heart off and just did not want to put herself out there to be hurt, but just to care..because someone it hurts more to care than to not too..if that makes any sense..I mean it is easy to NOT care about anything..but it takes courage to love someone despite their flaws, and that is what I LOVED about Spike's character no matter who it was if they needed helped he was the first into battle..
 
The way I saw it, if she was cruel to him, treated him like she did, she didnt have to admit certain things to herself.

It strted out as a comfort thing. She couldnt takl to anyone else. But she got more and more involved. But as long as she denied she liked Spike, it was ok. She was making herself feel better. But she didnt have to treat him well. He was a monster.

But eventually she realised she had to deal with everything in her life. Face up to her problems. She could no longer use Spike the way she had. So she stopped seeing him.

It was all about denial.

You get what Im saying?
 
I think this issue is extremely complex.
I believe that Buffy treats Spike this way for several reasons:

1. She is ashamed to have feelings for him because she is afraid of what others will think (she already sees how negatively her friends react when they see Spike with the Buffy bot). I know it sounds silly, but a LOT of people care about this issue, either conciously or subconciously.

2.She is ashamed to have feelings for him because she knows what he is capable of, of all the cruel and selfish things he's done. Yes, he's a vampire (and even so I don't think this renders him incapable of all good actions) and she's a slayer, so there is an automatic problem there-but here it goes deeper. Remember, Angel ALSO committed horrible acts in his past, and that didn't stop her from loving him. I think she sees her feelings for Spike as a sort of betrayal of what she had with Angel...sort of the dark side of herself, if you get me.

3. After being resurrected, Buffy is displaced. She is confused, can't relate to her friends, and comes head on with the darkness inside herself. I don't think that the darkness is a new thing-its always been there-but in season 6, Buffy is maturing, and in doing so must confront the parts of herself that frighten her. Spike is like a mirror for this-he's the only one who sees her darkness, and accepts her and loves her in spite of it-in that sense, she hates him for loving her, because she wants to be puninshed for having that darkness-not accepted for it. But on the other hand, she feels so alone that she is drawn to him.

4. Buffy does love Spike, and hates herself for having those feelings, hence turning her self hatred back on him.

Anyhow, as far as the 'attempted rape' scene goes...the first time I saw it, I was horrified. After re-watching the series, however, I saw it in a different way. I don't think Spike ever meant to hurt her. Considering how violent their sex life was (and how much of a TEASE she was-because undoubtedly Buffy sent mixed signals and messed with him), I can see how Spike got into the situation, not realizing that she really MEANT no. I am in no way excusing his behavior, but there is a context.
On the other hand, he suffers for that day. He knows he hurt her and punishes himself mentally because of it.
Spike loves her so much that he gets his soul back-for her, whether she loves him or not. I think that alone shows the depth of his feelings for her.
Why does he love her? Because ultimately, I believe he saw himself in HER: He says in 7th season that he's lived a very long time, but he's always felt alone-which is so close to how Buffy feels. I think that they are more alike than they would ever care to admit.
 
S
Spirit_Of_Fred
very well put! (not sure about the bottom, but i agree with 1-4)
Another reason was (i agree with SpikedBuffy).. was maybe because she was too ashamed to admit how she truly felt about Spike.. they have always had feelings for one another.. there has always been a spark.. so instead of playing nice she was cruel.. cruel to him and used him to feel something... which then realising how she truly felt.. c'mon ppl accept the fact that spuffy are the ultimate couple 😀
 
Buffy had been pulled out of heaven this made her think that she didnt deserve to be in heaven,because she thought this she thought that she deserved to be punished and she ended up hating herself.because she thought she had to be punished she spent her time with Spike who was this souless thing.that couldnt feel anything,like her.because Buffy didnt like herself she treated Spike how she thought she should be treated

i dnt think that made any sense but i cant seem to word what i wana say properly today lol
 
Because Buffy could use Spike as a giant punching bag without any repercussions with the rest of the Scoobies. She could unload her anger and frustrations without affecting the face she put on for her friends, because what's Spike going to do? Out himself and Buffy to the Scoobies. "You guys need to talk to the Slayer, I'm tired of getting beaten up before we shag" He'd be staked, decapitated, and immolated before he could blink.
 
Spike loved Buffy because he is attracted to strong women - always was. He is a very dependent person. He needs a woman to give him support and meaning. As a human, he had an intensely close relationship with his mother and this is a relationship that is emulated with Drusilla and later Buffy - or at least he attempts to reproduce that same level of closeness with Buffy. And yes, he sees that the two of them are inticately connected as Slayer and vampire, but that's really a side issue. As for why Buffy was so cruel to him, I firmly beleive that there were a number of reasons for this:

1. She was not only distraught after being ripped out of Heaven, she was also very angry with her friends for having done it. Since she couldn't take her anger out on them, she used Spike as an emotional punch-bag instead.

2. Deep down, she acknowledges how similar she and the vampire, Spike, are. Both are outcasts among their respective kinds. He, an impotent vampire, is an outcast among demons and vampires everywhere. Meanwhile, she, as the Slayer, is an outcast from all humanity and, particularly since her return, from her friends as well. The close similarities between the two of them (which Spike keeps reminding her of) frighten and repel her and she is forced into a state of denial that finds physical representation in her verbal and physical assaults on him.

3. She cannot help but thinking of a creature without a soul as being inherently evil. That is a simple, universal truth in the Buffyverse. Denying it, questioning it even must seem like questioning the findamental laws of physics to these people. Furthermore, she knows what Spike has done and cannot see him as an equal in this light. After all, this is the same William the Bloody who massacred children in orpahanges (See "Angel" Season 5). Without a soul, he is still a psychopath at heart. And only the chip prevents him from reverting to his old self. Even if his love were to keep him on her side for years, eventually that love would die out, eventually he would betray her as he betrayed his first great love Drusilla. All of this she knows and she finds it difficult to resolve it with her wholehearted dependence on him upon her return to Earth.

4. Sex with Spike enables her to "feel" again, to make a connection with something earthly once more. She is, as she eventually admits, using him. Yet in doing so, she is disgusted with herself. Much of this self-revulsion finds its focus in Spike, who again serves as a punch-bag for her own psychological difficulties.

5. Perhaps on some level, she does have feelings for him. If so, then she cannot permit herself to give in to them and she must reject each and every one of his romantic advances violently in order to prove to herself her ability to resist him as well as to prove that she does not really care for him.
 
I know exactly what you mean, It was difficult for me to watch some episodes and scenes too and I would just become so furious ::bbat::
I don't think she had an enough reason to treat him so badly but I don't think she's a bad person inside either, it's just that maybe she knew he loved her so much (especially after Crush) and she tried to force him into hating her so she treated him as bad as she could so he'd hate her. That's what I think.
 
Because he was the only one at that point to truly understand her. Spike was right about her being addicted to the darkness and she knew it but wasnt willing to accept it.

And she didnt want to let her friends down as a hypocrite.
 
Buffy didn't like Spike because he was a vampire, plain and simple. That's the short answer. It explains why she didn't like him, however in order to *know* (or at least, gain an understanding of) why she treated him like dirt, one must look beneath the surface.

Off course, from what I've gathered from this thread (and I haven't read all of it yet), it's pretty obvious for the most part. Mostly for the reasons that Shadow Weaver listed. I like what he said, he articulates so nicely.

I think the number one reason would have to be (at least, in the sixth season) simply because she is pissed off because she was brought back from heaven of all places. I think that anybody in her position would be understandably miffed, I mean who can honestly say that being torn out of a state of perpetual bliss wouldn't incite ire in them? So she is justifiably pissed, and simply lacks a healthy outlet for these intense feelings. A lesser human being would probably have considered suicide as a means to get back to such a peaceful place.

But it may even be that her attraction to him is strictly a physical one, and this probably disgusts her. So she acts out in anger. Maybe that's all there was to it. She likes sleeping with him but dislikes him as a person (err, vamp) and so she uses him, and this causes her grief, even if he is a vampire. And because he is one (and she allows herself to even go there with something she considers evil).

As far as the rape thing goes, I don't know that I honestly buy it. That Spike genuinely wanted to violate her sexually and thoroughly enjoyed it. Obviously he did it, and yes the act itself is reprehensible, no doubt about that. But what I mean is (and keep in mind I actually have not watched this particular episode in over a year), he didn't seem to be into it. He really appeared to be very confused as he was doing it. This could be in part due to the fact that Marsters wasn't feeling this scene, or perhaps because Spike knew what he was doing was wrong but he couldn't stop himself (he's a vampire). Its not as if she struck his sexual fancy and he decided to rape Buffy Summers. This didn't seem to me to be (and off course all I'm basing this off of is movies with rape scenes) one of those "omg I'm a sociopath this broad is turning me on I'm going to rape her lolz" kinda things. I really do believe that this was honestly not his intention.

That whole concept of forcing her to love him this way was simply misguided and twisted, and he knew better.

He had reached a burning point. Nothing justifies it (obviously), it simply explains the situation. It's not as if this had been his plan all along. Hell, she'd already slept with him.

Just think about all the times she treated him badly. Also, bear in mind all the brownie points he'd earned with her, intentional or otherwise.

Their little semi-truce in S-2, the fact that he liked her, believe it or not, how he always looked after Dawn, that time when he refused to tell Glory what she wanted to know about the key, etc. Not that any of this can cancel out what he did; simply that she took advantage of him repeatedly. She forgave him when he had a soul, like someone else mentioned. As soon as she saw that she was able to recognize all the good in him, she viewed him under a totally different light and was willing to look past all the shortcomings their sick little relationship had had.
 
Ok, just watched the episode Seeing Red again. I'd forgotten how it was kind of hard to watch that scene. It think it made me hate Spike for all of 20 seconds. But then, seeing him instantly regretting it and tormented over it with a bottle of alcohol and watching it a second time, I viewed it rather differently.

Additionally, after reading through this post again, I realize that roguedemoness pretty much expressed the same thing I was trying to say about the 'rape scene', I think. I'm not sure how I missed that the first time around, but like I said I hadn't read this thread in its entirety.

I think I've seen that episode a total of four times.
 
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