So I was browsing the net to find a certain quote about why dogs are like men and cats are like women. I didn´t find exactly what I was looking for but thought I could share anyway.
What are the qualities of a cat? Cats do what they want. They rarely listen to you. They're unpredictable. They pout when they are not happy. When you want to play, they want to be left alone. They expect you to cater to their every whim. They're moody. They leave hair everywhere. They drive you nuts and cost you money. Conclusion: They're tiny little women in fur coats.
A cat thinks, "Hey, those people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice, warm, dry house, pet me and take good care of me.... I must be a god!"
What are the qualities of a dog? Dogs lie around all day, sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house. They can hear a package of food opening half-a-block away but don't hear you when you're in the same room. They can look dumb and lovable at the same time. They growl when they're not happy. When you want to be alone, they want to play. They never have enough toys and they leave them everywhere. Conclusion: They're tiny little men in fur coats.
A dog thinks, "Hey, those people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice, warm, dry house, pet me and take good care of me.... They must be gods!"
Women are a lot like cats. They sneak around, leave you when you're dying, don't get along with other cats, are attention hungry, are temperamental and enjoy being petted.
Men on the other hand are a lot like dogs. They get along easier with other dogs, on occasion have bones, are loyal, horny and simply put basic creatures.
But just like men, dogs have one downfall; they chase cats / women. I have never actually seen a dog catch a cat which makes me wonder why they even bother. The same goes for men chasing women, if a woman expects to be chased, I say f**k it, cus after all we are not just stupid dogs.
And finally:
Why men and dogs are the same:
- both take up too much space in bed
- both mark their territory
- neither tells you what's bothering them
- both fart shamelessly
- both have an inordinate fascination with women's crotches.
Why dogs are better than men:
- dogs do not play games with you (except for fetch)
- dogs do not have problems expressing their affection in public
- dogs are very happy with any video you choose to rent, because they know that the most important thing is that you're together
- dogs understand what "NO" means
- dogs obsess about you as much as you obsess about them
