Why We Ship The Ship That We Ship

[white avenger]

(This is something that I saw on another, non-Buffy forum, and I was just wondering what the members here would have to say about it)

The majority of people who support a particular ship do so more because of some personal experience in their own lives, or they somehow identify with the particular characters in the ship, than from the actual relationship as it is portrayed, like Twillow, hinted at, like Cangel, or just plain fantasized about, like Fuffy. Without going into any personal, private details, do you agree or disagree?

 

[ladydorotea]

I very much disagree. The majority of people who support a particular ship support it exactly because they never had an experience like that in their lives and they take much of what they see as a role-playing game of sorts - where they can substitute themselves in place of a character they deem 'cool' and role-play their favorite relationship in their mind. That explains extreme popularity of ships that feature 'bad boys' and 'bad girls' - folks who never been 'bad ' in RL enjoy fantasizing about being one and getting away with it. It especially applies to younger folks - but is not limited with age. See Jerkass Dissonance trope for details. On the opposite side - folks who never been in abusive relationship also like to fantasize what would it be to 'redeem ' a bad boy/girl and be a single focus of that badass' superior attention. That's why sweet normal relationship ships are never that popular.

 

[Amethyst]

I'm a Bangel and Tillow Shipper 😀 I just think they go together so well, to me they connect to each other better then any other relationships they've had 🙂 Ok, yes, I was madly in love with Angel when I was a teenager 🙄 so whether that had something to do with my Bangel love lol but I'm a straight woman and have no lesbian desires or experiences, so can't say I've got any personal attachment to that ship lol 😀

 

[Gum Gnome33]

That explains extreme popularity of ships that feature 'bad boys' and 'bad girls' - folks who never been 'bad ' in RL enjoy fantasizing about being one and getting away with it. On the opposite side - folks who never been in abusive relationship also like to fantasize what would it be to 'redeem ' a bad boy/girl and be a single focus of that badass' superior attention. That's why sweet normal relationship ships are never that popular.

While I have no clue whether I'm in the majority, I will say confidently that this does not apply to me, so there's one count against that theory!

Interestingly, I actually don't "ship" very often. Most of the time when I watch a series I have a very open mind and if I find a relationship to be compelling or if I think the reasons for it are portrayed convincingly with regard to writing and acting, I'll be fine with the ship.
When I do "ship" a couple, it's usually because at least one of the characters passionately loves the other and throughout the series is devoted to him/her in a way in which I, as an audience member, find convincing. Said character invariably benefits from this love, whether it transforms him/her toward being "better," or reaffirms what he/she believes to be good within. The character in question convinces the other of his/her devotion and when it is reciprocated, a partnership develops, and I really start to root for them.

I really don't know how this applies to my own experiences, except that it speaks to the devotion and partnership that I value.

 

[Joan the Vampire Slayer]

(This is something that I saw on another, non-Buffy forum, and I was just wondering what the members here would have to say about it)

The majority of people who support a particular ship do so more because of some personal experience in their own lives, or they somehow identify with the particular characters in the ship, than from the actual relationship as it is portrayed, like Twillow, hinted at, like Cangel, or just plain fantasized about, like Fuffy. Without going into any personal, private details, do you agree or disagree?

Well, I don't know if I ship Spuffy because of some similar personal experience, but I can certainly identify with both Buffy and Spike. I do tend to be drawn to the "darker" ships - Chuck/Blair, Christian/Kimber, Brian/Justin are a few of my favorites, and all of these couples have had an amazing journey, and let me tell you, it wasn't always pretty. They hurt eachother. They got through it, and emerged with a stronger bond. They've cheated, lied, and used eachother, and still, in the end, they still love eachother. I'm very attracted to this idea of not giving up on someone you're crazy about, no matter what the odds. Couples tha have it "easy" don't interest me. All the ships I mentioned are epic ships, that span thair entire respective series. My personal relationships have never been easy for me, so perhaps that is how I identify.

Also, in defense of Fuffy, I think there's a lot of evidence to suggest that Faith was in love with Buffy.

 

[ladydorotea]

While I have no clue whether I'm in the majority, I will say confidently that this does not apply to me.

Oh, you are. The fandoms are full of folks who ship Draco Malfoy, Eric Northman and Damon Salvatore , and they all claim to love these ships exactly for the reasons you've stated ( strong 'love' and 'devotion'). LOL Checkout the Draco In Leather Pants trope for details and to find out just exactly how much in the majority you are. 😛

 

[SlayerFest]

Well, I've always been interested in things that are considered "taboo" or uncommon or...whatever. When I was little, I was fascinated by gay couples haha I guess because they weren't very common...anywhere at the time. I truly feel as if that's why I was immediately drawn to Tillow. I don't love that ship solely because it's between two people of the same sex, but I think that's how it started. I'm also quite fond of Spangel 😉 there aren't any ships that I dislike either. I'm kind of iffy about Spuffy but I still like them. Their relationship is complex and I like that. It's full of drama and angst and I'm immediately drawn to that. I've realized that the only reason why I really rooted for Bangel...is because I love Buffy and Angel haha and I just want them to be happy :cry:. There is no Buffyverse ship that I just detest, they all make sense to me in some way. The only ship, however, that I'll get into a...discussion about (in terms of defending why I prefer them to Woz), is Tillow. They're my absolute favorite. I felt as if I was watching Woz (which I do love...just not as much) from outside of the relationship, whereas I felt like I was right there with Tillow. I don't know what this says about me exactly haha I'm not a lesbian, I like men and women (I hate labels, I know that's so cliche but I hate labeling myself, argh) so maybe that's why I love Tillow and Spangel? Hahah...idk. Spangel is more of a bromance in my eyes, so that doesn't really count.

I also find normal relationships kind of boring...Tillow is the most boring ship that I like. I mean the fact that they're both women makes it less boring, but still. I like the idea of Bangel, but I just don't get excited over them (I did get excited when Angel became human and he and Buffy were both super happy...but who the hell wouldn't!?). My absolute favorite ship, of any fandom, is Drarry. What does that say about me 😉

 

[Ripper666]

All in all I agree with[MENTION=6758]white avenger[/MENTION]! But I have to say that the argument [MENTION=9316]ladydorotea[/MENTION] said is true too! I think it's a mixture!
One the one hand it's surely that you like what you experienced. Or at least if it was a positive experience. On the other hand you like what you wish that you could have had too! And there is a third point: Sympathy. You judge people in the first second you see them. Even if you want or not. That's just the way it is. And if you don't like a person of a ship, I guess you won't like the ship at all. So there are three points which we have to consider.

 

[Gum Gnome33]

Oh, you are. The fandoms are full of folks who ship Draco Malfoy, Eric Northman and Damon Salvatore , and they all claim to love these ships exactly for the reasons you've stated ( strong 'love' and 'devotion'). LOL Checkout the Draco In Leather Pants trope for details and to find out just exactly how much in the majority you are. 😛

Well then you didn't read my post; I stated that I'm not in the "majority" when it comes to your specific claim that most fans ship based on wanting, as you said: "'bad boys' and 'bad girls' - folks who never been 'bad ' in RL enjoy fantasizing about being one and getting away with it," or "folks who never been in abusive relationship also like to fantasize what would it be to 'redeem ' a bad boy/girl and be a single focus of that badass' superior attention." Obviously one who doesn't know me doesn't know how incorrect it is to even suggest that I may be one of these people, but I can assure you that it is.

And also? I don't even know who "Draco Malfoy," "Eric Nothman," and "Damon Salvatore" are, (though I know one is from True Blood). So let's not accuse me of shipping in their interest, 'kay? Different shows, different characters, and no freaking clue how I"d feel about any of them if I knew who they were.

You also claim that the "majority" of people don't like "sweet, normal" relationships and I say again that this does not apply to me, whether or not I'm in the majority.

Case in point: I've shipped a total of three ships in my life, based upon television shows. They are Spike/Buffy, Harrison/Sam, (from Popular), and Josh/Donna, (from West Wing). The last two ships are pretty much the definition of "normal" and "sweet," so that's that.

 

[Icarium]

The majority of people who support a particular ship support it exactly because they never had an experience like that in their lives and they take much of what they see as a role-playing game of sorts - where they can substitute themselves in place of a character they deem 'cool' and role-play their favorite relationship in their mind. That explains extreme popularity of ships that feature 'bad boys' and 'bad girls' - folks who never been 'bad ' in RL enjoy fantasizing about being one and getting away with it. It especially applies to younger folks - but is not limited with age. See Jerkass Dissonance trope for details. On the opposite side - folks who never been in abusive relationship also like to fantasize what would it be to 'redeem ' a bad boy/girl and be a single focus of that badass' superior attention. That's why sweet normal relationship ships are never that popular.

Yes, I think you nailed it. That is not to say that they aren't people who like the Dracos in Leather Pants and their ships for other reasons, mind you.

Personally, I just like couples that don't annoy me and seem to "fit" together. This doesn't sound like much of a requirement but TV couples very often fail to satisfy it as apparently the first rule of TV romance is that there needs to be over the top drama and the more silly twists, the better. I can't stand on and off couples like Ross and Rachel on Friends and almost every couple on TV has some artificial obstacles in its way. Love triangles which last for longer than an episode or two also drive me crazy.

As for specific BtVS couples I ship Willow and Tara because they are so adorable together, plus I kind of relate to Tara. I ship Xander/Cordy becuase they are so much fun. I ship Giles/Jenny because they were both fun and adorable.

 

[The Scourge]

Call me simple, but a major factor for me is the chemistry between the actors. If I don't see any chemistry, I just can't ship them.

The way the characters interact with each other is key: the way they treat each other, the qualities they inspire in each other, etc.

Also, the characters themselves have to be well-rounded and not caricatures.

 

[kittenpoker]

Call me simple, but a major factor for me is the chemistry between the actors. If I don't see any chemistry, I just can't ship them.

The way the characters interact with each other is key: the way they treat each other, the qualities they inspire in each other, etc.

Also, the characters themselves have to be well-rounded and not caricatures.

You're simple. ;-) (jokes) You also echo my thoughts on the matter exactly!

 

[Taake]

Without going into details I very much agree, 🙂, personal experiences (or what we wish to experience) and identifying in certain and personal ways with the characters is very much at the core of shipping choices I believe.