An interesting discussion on Spander happened between me and Emmie:
Sosa: If you'd write a Xander/Spike fic, what season do you think would be the most believable?
Emmie: Season 7 I think. The no-soul is really a dealbreaker for Xander. Actually, I kinda feel that the 'Spike is a vampire' is a dealbreaker for Xander. Xander has some serious problems with flexible thinking of a complex world. Humans good, demons bad is his general rule.
"You're a vampire! They make monster movies about you!"
Which is not to say that they don't have awesome chemistry. There's just a lot of things that stand between Xander and Spike being believable. You know what'd be cool? If Xander experienced what Gunn experienced in After the Fall. So that he'd have a better understanding of what it means for Spike to have formerly been an evil vampire, but isn't evil any longer (well less evil because of the soul, though the demon is still inside him).
I know there are some fics that explore Spike and Xander switching bodies, but I've never read one that let Xander go completely evil in that body. I mean rampaging death spree. And then have it all reversed so that he remembers and feels everything, but in reality no one died.
I think it would do much to broaden Xander's concept of good and evil and the innate morality of a creature and how they can change depending on the circumstances.
Sosa: Great choice, it saddens me that the writers skipped over great scenes that could have happened in Xander's apartment between these two.
Although I believe S4 would be the ideal season for Spander, or maybe the easiest. I find it interesting that most focus on how to get Xander to accept and fall for Spike, because I think it's way more possible/easier than the other way around. IMO, Xander isn't really as black/white as some perceive him; his best friend is a witch, he's friends with a werewolf, and his girlfriend used to be a demon. He actually accepted Tara as part of his family before he found out she wasn't a demon. Not to mention that it's canon that Xander finds Spike hot, and the fact that Xander initiates mocking Spike shows that he notices him. On the other hand, Spike doesn't really see Xander. He doesn't respect him. He doesn't care about him. That's the tricky part of Spander, how to get Spike to notice Xander and realize he's more than just a droopy boy. How to see beyond the surface, realize that physical strength isn't what matters most.
Now, I'm thinking of writing a long fic where Xander pines for Spike who pines for Buffy.
Emmie: I agree that Xander is flexible, but really he's flexible in what he perceives on the surface of an individual. He accepts Willow, Tara, and Buffy because at their core, he sees them as human. They fall into the human camp. Spike just... doesn't. And he really can't, not when he's so insistent on reminding everyone that he's evil and that he's a vampire.
I think Xander relies on these definitions of people to make sense of his world. The key with Willow, Tara, Buffy and Anya are that when Xander is closest with them or he first meets them and befriends them, there is nothing but their human side to contend with. Even Buffy in the midst of slaying is overwhelmingly good and human as he sees her.
Spike's introduction to Xander was as a villain. So that's the box Spike is put in. Evil villain who has tried to kill Xander multiple times, kidnapped him, tried to kill his friends, etc. So I think it'll take more than Xander just being around Spike imo. Because the distance between them is very set on both sides.
I totally agree about Spike not really seeing Xander. I just think that Xander has just as far of a way to go until he could accept Spike, too. To me, it feels like Xander was always waiting for Spike to go evil again. That he in fact expects Spike to go evil again. That's not something I can see Xander reconciling himself with. Where as with Anya, for all that she talked about missing her vengeance demon ways, she was human when he dated her. It takes a lot more steps for Anya to go back to evil demon ways than it does Spike in his mind. Kinda like a six degrees of Kevin Bacon. Spike is only one degree away while Anya is five. So Xander can rest easy on that.
It's not just about what they are, but about how Xander perceives them. He perceives Willow, Buffy, Tara and Anya as human. He perceives Spike as an evil demon. And the only way for that to change is for Spike to stop presenting himself that way - something I don't really see happening in Season 4. Season 7 I can see it as more likely.
I'm always reminded of this in regard to how Xander sees Spike:
Xander to Anya in Entropy: "I'm not joking now. You let that evil, soulless thing touch you. (pointing at Spike) You wanted me to feel something? Congratulations, it worked. I look at you ... and I feel sick. 'Cause you had sex with that."
Even Buffy, who had a vampire lover in the past, didn't get together with Spike while soulless when she was completely herself (depressed and suicidal). This is not to say anything against soulless Spike who tries very hard, but that both humans, Buffy and Xander, view good as a soul. And they want to date someone who is good and who has a soul. So for me, the soul is a key factor. And considering Xander's strong feelings about vampires (from his loss of Jesse), his violent history with Spike, and his need to set firm role boundaries because of his unstable childhood - yeah, I think he needs Spike to be clearly in the "good" column before he can let his guard down enough to trust him with his body and his heart.
Sosa: I do agree that Xander falling completely in love with Spike would be SO hard, but Xander having lusty feelings wouldn't. After all, this is the guy that had a love/hate relationship with Cordelia; their high school demon. I can't see Xander falling in love with Spike in a matter of one chapter, it'll take plenty, but I can see him having sex dreams about him, being called on being attracted to him by Anya or Dawn, all that will make him think, no, stop thinking, brain doesn't listen, stop it right now, still not listening, and there be erection.
All that will lead Xander to think about Spike that way. But what will make Spike think about Xander that way?
Personally, I can see Spike growing to respect Xander first and then think about starting a relationship (after so many chapters that is) while it starts with lust for Xander then respect.
Even Buffy, who had a vampire lover in the past, didn't get together with Spike while soulless when she was completely herself (depressed and suicidal).
That's what attracts me to Spuffy more than Bangel. It's not easy. This is why I ship Spander. It's not easy. I hate easy-ships, like Xander/Dawn for example, I used to think fondly of them together, but after S8, I really started to dislike that pairing.
Xander to Anya in Entropy: "I'm not joking now. You let that evil, soulless thing touch you. (pointing at Spike) You wanted me to feel something? Congratulations, it worked. I look at you ... and I feel sick. 'Cause you had sex with that."
To be fair, I think it's mostly fury/hurt speaking. Kinda like when Xander threatened to kill Buffy if Willow was dead in S2. The guy loses his temper so easily (something he took after his parents, I guess) making him say cruel stuff he doesn't usually mean, because Xander's actions does contradict his saying -he'd saved/helped Spike on so many occasions, he didn't hate Buffy when he thought she slept with Spike in S5, he let Spike baby-sit Dawn, even stated that he sympathized with Spike because Xander had been there (having an unrequited love fore Buffy)... etc.
(What are your thoughts on the subject?)
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