Willow Crying

[Lyri]

Willow crying in the bathroom after she finds out Xander slept with Faith - am I the only one who is utterly confused by this scene?

I mean, there has been nothing between Willow and Xander since they were caught in 'Lover's Walk' and there's nothing that follows up this scene to make us think that Willow is hiding feelings for Xander.

This scene is completely random, it adds nothing to the plot or any sort of character development. I honestly don't know why it was even included.

 

[NeonNightLight]

I think it was due in part to it being Faith specifically that Xander slept with. Wasn't Willow somewhat threatened by her before? Faith had swept into town and 'stolen' her best friend (Buffy), which Willow had shown insecurities about previously. And then Xander sleeping with Faith was probably seen as Faith taking him, too (especially since she was his first). This was probably a big reason why she was so upset and might've felt betrayed.

 

[Kean]

I certainly wouldn't have missed the scene if it was removed but I think it's there to show that despite that both Xander and Willow have moved on from their little fling, this is still a big deal. I have no doubt that at this point Willow loved Oz and was committed to him but I don't think that takes away from a lifetime of loving and obsessing over Xander. I think she always hoped/thought that she and Xander would be each other's first and that scene is her dealing with that not happening. It was a momentary reaction, but still believable and honest in terms of who they are as people at this point.

 

[Blaze]

I think it was just a slap in Willow's face. Whether she was into Xander at that time or not is not that irrelevant. But her best friend sleeping with someone that she hated is. Willow was hurt as girls tend to be when their exes sleep with someone they don't like.

 

[EVIL UU]

Willow was in love with Xander for years and on the top of that, she loves him. Like, really loves him, OK? She wanted to be his first, she dreamed about. So when this happens it hurts. It hurts because it's not her. It hurts because it could have been her. It just hurts. It hurts even more because it's Faith. Right, so here's a short list of things that Willow truly cares about in her life.

1. Buffy/Xander
2. Power
3. Her Lover

In that order. So Faith shows up and almost takes away Buffy from her and you know, to understand how it feels and why Willow acts the way she does you'd probably have to live through as much bulling and loneliness as she did. And then Faith takes away Xander and is about to hurt him. It's sad and it's painful.

I mean, do you even feel?

 

[thetopher]

Willow was in love with Xander for years and on the top of that, she loves him. Like, really loves him, OK? She wanted to be his first, she dreamed about. So when this happens it hurts. It hurts because it's not her. It hurts because it could have been her. It just hurts. It hurts even more because it's Faith. Right, so here's a short list of things that Willow truly cares about in her life.

1. Buffy/Xander
2. Power
3. Her Lover

In that order. So Faith shows up and almost takes away Buffy from her and you know, to understand how it feels and why Willow acts the way she does you'd probably have to live through as much bulling and loneliness as she did. And then Faith takes away Xander and is about to hurt him. It's sad and it's painful.

I mean, do you even feel?

Oh, please. 🙄

Wllow is insecure, that's it. Buffy blew Willow off once, maybe twice to go slaying with Faith and suddenly its all 'Faith's trying to take her away from me!'
It's irrational and deeply, deeply stupid.

Then Willow decides to choose Oz over Xander, fair enough, I get that choice, and then she gets all weepy because Xander looses his cherry to Faith.
More insecure bull.

This is actually why I think Willow hated Faith just a little bit way before she went evil, she's the first one to go 'screw Faith' in 'Consequences' and pretty much has that attitude well into the comics. (well, S8 anyway.)

When I saw that scene I told thought that Willow should get over it already. It was clear that it wasn't about Xander, it was about Faith, which she also admits to them all later on.

 

[Black Eye Guy]

I love that scene, I think it makes perfect sense for them.

I think it's made up of a combination of different stuff, mostly that she was in love with Xander for a very long time, Even though I think she was all about Oz at that stage I could imagine she always thought both of their first times would be with each other, and that would have just cemented them as finished.
I think the fact it was Faith would have added to it, and I think the fact that Xander didn't tell would have just made the whole situation worse

 

[white avenger]

Joss used practically the same scene in "Firefly" in the episode "Heart Of Gold." Mal spends the night with the madam, Inara sees him coming out of her room the next morning, goes off by herself, and cries. It makes no real sense there, either, considering Inara's occupation.

 

[thetopher]

Well, at least with Inara and Mal there was a mutual attraction, a will they-won't they thing going on.
With Willow and Xander it was a definate 'they won't'- it really wasn't any of Willow's business anymore- she'd tried to get 'physical' with Oz ages before the whole Xander/Faith thing happened.

If the reverse had happened, would Xander have been upset, I mean at all? By this time he'd already made his peace with Oz, and their friendship was on the mend.

 

[Kean]

If the reverse had happened, would Xander have been upset, I mean at all? By this time he'd already made his peace with Oz, and their friendship was on the mend.

Well, we had seen Xander express distress and jealousy when the girls he liked or had previously been involved with had moved on. He wore his jealousy for Buffy like a coat for about 3 seasons. He is visibly upset, often times angry, hostile and resentful towards her relationship with Angel... actually with almost any man that showed interest in her. He is also visibly hurt by Willow asking for Oz when she is in the hospital in Becomng Part II. He doesn't like the idea of Willow and Oz doing a "half Monty." He later struggles with Cordy moving on and is visibly annoyed and upset when she shows interest in Wesley.

So, all in all, yes I do think Xander would be upset. I don't know if it would show in the same way it did for Willow, but it would mean something to him if he found out Willow had left him behind in that aspect of her life.

I think the specific relationship between Willow and Xander would feel these growing pains the most because for the majority of their lives they were absolutely everything to each other: friend, pseudo-romantic partner, family. They belong to each other, it's hard to not feel a loss when a part of your person moves out of your grasp, even if you don't really want that part.

 

[Black Eye Guy]

I think the specific relationship between Willow and Xander would feel these growing pains the most because for the majority of their lives they were absolutely everything to each other: friend, pseudo-romantic partner, family. They belong to each other, it's hard to not feel a loss when a part of your person moves out of your grasp, even if you don't really want that part.

Totally this!

I dont think she's really upset over it, like not upset Xander and Faith got together and not her and Xander, but she's just upset that a big part of their lives are over.
She tries to sleep with Oz after this right? (I can't remember) She could even feel a little left behind having not had sex and Xander and Buffy have, and Willow isn't great at being left behind other people.

 

[Lyri]

Joss used practically the same scene in "Firefly" in the episode "Heart Of Gold." Mal spends the night with the madam, Inara sees him coming out of her room the next morning, goes off by herself, and cries. It makes no real sense there, either, considering Inara's occupation.

But it's justified there, because we know Mal and Inara have feelings for each other. She's in love with him and this is the first time we see her actually admit that, if only to herself.

Willow isn't in love with Xander in the romantic sense, which is why I don't get the crying.

Maybe I'm just weird, lol.

Then Willow decides to choose Oz over Xander, fair enough, I get that choice, and then she gets all weepy because Xander looses his cherry to Faith.
More insecure bull.

This is my point exactly. Willow makes it clear that she chooses Oz over Xander, she's ready to sleep with Oz a few episodes earlier, and yet she's upset over Xander sleeping with someone else.

I find it very hypocritical of Willow.

 

[ILLYRIAN]

It made sense to me, it showed that Willow had thought deeply of Xander in the past. That even then she thought of Xander not as a lover but as a friend, and she was saddened by what had happened as she knew it would not be what Xander wanted.

It was a clever thing to show as it gave the writers the ability of being able to refer to it at a later date.
I liked how Faith referred to it, getting Anya's back up by telling her that she had Xander first. When Anya was trying to teach the potentials.
If it wasn't for Willow's reaction to the Faith Xander thing, would the Faith Xander thing have been remembered at all?

 

[BuffyElevated]

I always felt it was more like she felt like Faith was taking her friends away from her. She was deeply jealous of the bond Faith had with Buffy, and when she found out Faith had slept with Xander, she was not only jealous of that, too, but she felt threatened. She hated Faith, and I think she kinda felt like Faith was taking everyone she cared about away from her.

 

[Fuffy Baith]

Willow crying in the bathroom after she finds out Xander slept with Faith - am I the only one who is utterly confused by this scene?

No, I didn't get it either. I was fine with her being sad and not saying anything in the room, I didn't need her crying in the bathroom. Even though she's with Oz Xander was like her first love and I'm sure she assumed they would lose their virginity to each other, although I'm not sure why she would still think that if she's with Oz. Had Xander not said anything about it being his first time, I would have assumed him and Cordelia had sex.

Also, finding this out, she realizes she is the only one of her friends that hasn't had sex even though she is in a relationship(with someone that CAN have sex without losing their soul). So I think that it is just her realization that things are changes and they all are growing up.

 

[Lyri]

No, I didn't get it either. I was fine with her being sad and not saying anything in the room, I didn't need her crying in the bathroom.

Yes, I think that moment was enough. She was visibly upset and disappointed, everyone could see that. Crying in the bathroom was overkill and it just brought out Willow's selfish side.

Though maybe that was the point. The more Willow's powers grew, the more selfish she became.

Had Xander not said anything about it being his first time, I would have assumed him and Cordelia had sex.

Until 'The Zeppo', I had assumed that as well. We know Cordelia wasn't a virgin, so I find it hard to believe that she and Xander were together for over a year and never had sex, despite them being in high school.

 

[thetopher]

Well, we had seen Xander express distress and jealousy when the girls he liked or had previously been involved with had moved on. He wore his jealousy for Buffy like a coat for about 3 seasons. He is visibly upset, often times angry, hostile and resentful towards her relationship with Angel... actually with almost any man that showed interest in her. He is also visibly hurt by Willow asking for Oz when she is in the hospital in Becomng Part II. He doesn't like the idea of Willow and Oz doing a "half Monty." He later struggles with Cordy moving on and is visibly annoyed and upset when she shows interest in Wesley.

So, all in all, yes I do think Xander would be upset. I don't know if it would show in the same way it did for Willow, but it would mean something to him if he found out Willow had left him behind in that aspect of her life.

I think the specific relationship between Willow and Xander would feel these growing pains the most because for the majority of their lives they were absolutely everything to each other: friend, pseudo-romantic partner, family. They belong to each other, it's hard to not feel a loss when a part of your person moves out of your grasp, even if you don't really want that part.

All the examples you stated happened well before 'Consequences', and the difference is Willow is now in a relationship. and has been for some time.
I just can't see Xander getting jealous of Oz, if in 'Amends' He and Willow had chosen to have sex, it makes no sense.
All the Xander getting jealous of people moving in on Buffy is simple- he has a huge crush on Buffy, thet's still in evidence right through to S6. Hie feelings for Willow are more...protective in nature, he doesn't want to see her hurt by some guy. But Oz isn't just 'some guy'.

Look, the writers had Willow/Xander kiss, have feelings develop and then break up, Willow then moved on, she seemed very happy going back to Oz, so no, I don't get why she's upset, except for the fact about who Xander slept with.
I mean, for all Willow knew Xander and Cordelia could have had sex, that's actually a fair assumption, (and one I shared rifght up until 'The Zeppo', but I guess they were just rounding the bases...) so its not a 'he could've been my first' feeling.

It's just insecure jealousy - 'Faith's going to take my friend away' rubbish, just like with Buffy.
Willow even says this during one excchange:

WILLOW: I'm not the most objective, I know. I kinda have an issue with Faith sharing my ... people.

That's why Willow hated Faith first, and longest.

 

[EVIL UU]

[MENTION=12614]thetopher[/MENTION]

It's irrational and deeply, deeply stupid.

Yeah, duh!

 

[thetopher]

[MENTION=12614]thetopher[/MENTION]


Yeah, no shit captain obvious.

Your last post seemed to indicate that you really felt for Willow's situation, and that it was entirely understandable that she would react in that way.

Unless it was a long, stupid, sarcastic rant, but when have you ever done one of those, huh? 😛

 

[The Bronze]

I think there were a lot of factors that led to Willow's reaction. Xander is her best friend and she's not keen on Faith. There was the brief fling with Xander. Willow's insecurity about being replaced by her friends.

It was generally a big growing up moment for Xander and by extension for Willow. I don't think there was an awful lot more to it than that. A quick cry and then move on.