Willow's Abandonment Issues

Evil Angelus 95

Evil Angelus 95

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Am I the only one that fully believes that Willow has abandonment issues? I think it was hinted at, sometimes subtly and othertimes not, that she fears people leaving her. And considering how many people do over the course of the series, it's obvious that she fears it and tries to prevent it.

I mean, let's see, her parents weren't ever really involved in her life, so that could be considered an abandonment, Oz left her, Buffy left her (by dying in "The Gift"), Tara left due to her Magick addiction, and then once she gets Tara back, she's taken from her. That kind of feeling alone, that she no doubt feels (Ex. after Oz leaves.) just doesn't ever go away. I know from experience.

Thoughts?
 
It's a good question. The symptoms are similar but I think that it might be something else entirely. Willow was very lonely as a kid, Xander was basically the only person she had. Then Buffy showed up, helped her come out of her shell with her love and attention, Oz happened and life was great. Buffy is right, in the early season 4 Willow really is in heaven. Yes, Willow hates loneliness and loves sex but it's not just that, without people around she simply feels like she's turning into the old Willow. The shy, bullied, flat-chested ( Yeah, even in season 6 she still has that ridiculous complex ) lonely, nerd, as she puts it. So I think that it's more about her insecurities and childhood traumas than abandonment issues.
 
brinkster130
brinkster130
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Abandonment.
That is a normal human responce to people not wanting to feel alone.
 
Evil Angelus 95 said:
Am I the only one that fully believes that Willow has abandonment issues? I think it was hinted at, sometimes subtly and othertimes not, that she fears people leaving her. And considering how many people do over the course of the series, it's obvious that she fears it and tries to prevent it.

I mean, let's see, her parents weren't ever really involved in her life, so that could be considered an abandonment, Oz left her, Buffy left her (by dying in "The Gift"), Tara left due to her Magick addiction, and then once she gets Tara back, she's taken from her. That kind of feeling alone, that she no doubt feels (Ex. after Oz leaves.) just doesn't ever go away. I know from experience.

Thoughts?
Click to expand...

I think it makes sense to me, and I think it's a shame the show never really explored this particular avenue, I'd the say the same with Xander and his family, and Buffy and her dad, it would have been good to see some more interaction or issues relating to these darker family storylines
 
EVIL UU said:
It's a good question. The symptoms are similar but I think that it might be something else entirely. Willow was very lonely as a kid, Xander was basically the only person she had. Then Buffy showed up, helped her come out of her shell with her love and attention, Oz happened and life was great. Buffy is right, in the early season 4 Willow really is in heaven. Yes, Willow hates loneliness and loves sex but it's not just that, without people around she simply feels like she's turning into the old Willow. The shy, bullied, flat-chested ( Yeah, even in season 6 she still has that ridiculous complex ) lonely, nerd, as she puts it. So I think that it's more about her insecurities and childhood traumas than abandonment issues.
Click to expand...

Makes sense. I still think that abandonment issues could fit into all that, but insecurities basically seems to sum all of it up underneath one umbrella topic.

ILLYRIAN said:
Abandonment.
That is a normal human responce to people not wanting to feel alone.
Click to expand...

But it basically seems like Willow fears it extensively, and she goes to great lengths to ensure it doesn't happen, ex. the memory spell in "Tabula Rasa".

Xin Rong said:
I think it makes sense to me, and I think it's a shame the show never really explored this particular avenue, I'd the say the same with Xander and his family, and Buffy and her dad, it would have been good to see some more interaction or issues relating to these darker family storylines
Click to expand...

Maybe it's safe to say that everyone on the show had/has issues? That seems like a very realistic thing to me.
 
Evil Angelus 95 said:
Makes sense. I still think that abandonment issues could fit into all that, but insecurities basically seems to sum all of it up underneath one umbrella topic.



But it basically seems like Willow fears it extensively, and she goes to great lengths to ensure it doesn't happen, ex. the memory spell in "Tabula Rasa".



Maybe it's safe to say that everyone on the show had/has issues? That seems like a very realistic thing to me.
Click to expand...

Yes I agree that it can be summed up in terms of insecurities, but abandonment issues manifest in a variety of ways, it would have been good to see one of the characters to directly address the cause of their insecurity
 
Xin Rong said:
Yes I agree that it can be summed up in terms of insecurities, but abandonment issues manifest in a variety of ways, it would have been good to see one of the characters to directly address the cause of their insecurity
Click to expand...

It's kinda the same way with Buffy's depression arc, I would have liked to see more of her dealing with it. I mean, depression isn't something that goes away overnight, which is what her attitude in Season 7 seems like. Oh well, that's an entirely different topic.
 
I'm glad they didn't try to address Willow's abandonment issues and insecurities. They would have had to show Willow either becoming something different from what she had been or failing to grow. Either choice would have been detrimental to the show.

Any attempt to address this would have had someone step in and show her how her perception of her life was tainted and does the show really need a Dr. Phil? I can't stand a pompous ass like Dr. Phil presenting Psych 101 as his own special brand of insight and in case anyone forgot, Willow was taking psychology from Maggie Walsh and would not be predisposed ever again to accept anyone else as providing a safe environment to tell her story of her life. Maybe Willow should have been the one to meet Holden Webster as Buffy did in "Conversations with Dead People 7ABB07", but the plot would have to have been seriously modified for that (and it is my favourite episode of Season 7 as it is, so don't mess with it).
 
I think it would have been great for one of the characters dealing with these type of issues actually confront the person who caused them, that's the healthy way to deal with things: no need for Dr. Phil.

Dawn vs Dad would have been very interesting, considering technically he never even met her...
 
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