Willow's reaction to Xander + Faith

Kenimowy

Kenimowy

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I have a hard time understanding why Willow was so distraught when they all discovered that Xander and Faith hooked up? Because at that point she seemed very happt and content and into the relationship she had with Oz, but that moment exhibits jealously? Or at least thats how it seems...am I interpreting that scene incorrectly?
 
Willow and Xander always got kind of jealous when they saw each other with someone new. Xander was just way more obvious about it. I mean, even in S4 and S5, Willow couldn't stand Anya because she was with Xander. They even had a horrible episode about it ("Triangle", I think. It was the one after Riley left. It was bad. Like, "Beer Bad" bad).

Plus, Willow didn't like Faith. She was a little hurt that Buffy was spending so much time with Faith (which is only natural for a long-term friend), and I actually thought she handled that really well. Then Xander sleeps with Faith, not too long after the Xander/Willow fling. Xander had gone from hating him with Cordelia (although she did get over it) to hating him with Faith.

They both did it all the time, but they both got over it too.
 
But I think Willow acted like she was betrayed, not jealous, Xander's jealousy was usually cute, but Willow's in this instant wasn't casual enough you know, like she felt he was cheating on her, I don't know, I've always thought her reaction was very weird for someone who's in a happy relationship ..
 
I feel like she loved Xander and she always will and she hates Faith. I understand why she was crying and it's pretty realistic that she would because she was pretty dramatic when it came to him, but after seeing it like 10 times it just annoys me now when I do re-watches haha. She's with Oz and I understand her being upset, but going to the bathroom and sobbing uncontrollably seems just a tad over the top. Again, I'd expect her character to do that, but I guess I'm just over it by the 12th sobbing session. That's what I get for watching season 3 twice in one month in the 6th grade. I also used to rewind scenes because...I don't even know.
 
I think its kinda like forbidden fruit. Its not really the first time that we've seen Willow or Xander be jealous about the other being with someone. Like a few other people stated above, Willow couldn't stand Anya, and Xander couldn't really stand Willow being with Oz at first.
 
You know I've never understood Xander's jealousy over Willow. It isn't like he didn't have plenty of chances to date her. The girl was in love with him for the first three seasons for heaven's sake.
 
I always thought she hated Anya because she thought Anya would hurt her friend, not because she was jealous? Or at least that what she says in Triangle wasn't it?
In any case, I guess her and Xander can't see straight when it comes to each other's personal lives
 
They were always jealous whenever the other found happiness with anyone else, at least to begin with, but in this case I think it was because not only did Xander hook up with someone else, he hooked up with someone that Willow thought of as 'beneath' him. It's hard enough to be happy for a friend when you wish it was you they were with, much less when you don't like the person that they actually are with. I find her reaction as confounding as everyone else, but I kind of understand it, too.
 
I think there was also an element of, in Willow's mind, that she'd be the one that Xander would lose his virginity too. They'd gone through so much together, and there was probably still something in the back of her mind that said they'd be together. Eventually. And then Faith stole him away from her, the same way she'd been stealing Buffy. And I'm sure there was also the fact that he didn't tell her right away... she probably though that she was important enough to him that he'd tell her, and him not doing that betrayed her trust.
 
Wesley Pryce
Wesley Pryce
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I read on another forum someone's explanation on the whole ordeal and it made sense to me. It wasn't about jealousy per se, it was more about just losing your friend. She was losing Buffy and there came Xander getting taken by Faith.

It was more about loss than it was about jealousy. If it was love, it wouldn't make sense because Willow chose Oz when it came down to it.
 
Deus Ex Machina said:
I read on another forum someone's explanation on the whole ordeal and it made sense to me. It wasn't about jealousy per se, it was more about just losing your friend. She was losing Buffy and there came Xander getting taken by Faith.

It was more about loss than it was about jealousy. If it was love, it wouldn't make sense because Willow chose Oz when it came down to it.
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I don't know, it doesn't make sense. Why would she lose Xander just because he slept with Faith? Especially that Buffy made it clear that Faith wasn't interested in him and that he was only a one night stand ..
 
Nazel said:
I don't know, it doesn't make sense. Why would she lose Xander just because he slept with Faith? Especially that Buffy made it clear that Faith wasn't interested in him and that he was only a one night stand ..
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I'm going to have to find that quote for you, because when I read it, things made sense to me and maybe they might make sense to you as well? If they don't, then we can at least get some good discussion out of it.
 
I don't know I think I would agree with [MENTION=10660]Deus Ex Machina[/MENTION] I could understand that, Willow felt like she was losing her friends to faith and that was her breaking point?
 
[MENTION=12129]Riley's Way[/MENTION] (hope that worked)

This is the closest I could find to what I was talking about. The other thread I saw a better, more in-depth explanation is about 400+ pages long and I'm combing through it, but I found this to be a good summary:

I don't think Willow crying in the bathroom has anything to do with wanting to have her cake and eat it as well. What does strike me in the scene is that Willow is taken aback. It is very much a sign that Xander is growing up, and growing away from her. With Willow still being a virgin, she is now the last of the three of them to not make that step into adulthood. Combining that with the fact that Willow and Xander no longer are the type of friends who call each other every night to talk about what they did all day (and normally did all day together), and Willow probably felt left behind overall, and left behind specifically in relation to Xander.
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I guess, maybe that is a part of it, but does it really warrant all that sobbing? Willow has never been a big cryer
 
I think it was just the Faith of it all really. She seemed to traipse onto the scene and steal Buffy from Willow, only to eventually take Xander from her too. At least that's what it must have seemed like anyway. That and some residual feelings maybe.
 
I think jealously was part of it, but it had more to do with what she perceived as her own short comings rather than Xander being involved with someone else. She was the girl who had been friends with Xander forever, she was the one who once had a crush on him yet he picked Faith; the new girl again. That probably hurt her self esteem some...left her wondering why bug teacher lady, Inca Mummy girl, Cordy and Faith all caught Xander's eye when she didn't. The fact that she thought something like this would never happen when it did also made it clear to her that she didn't know Xander as well as she thought. Add that to the jealousy she had been feeling about Faith and Buffy hanging out and it's understandable why she would react so strongly.
 
brinkster130 said:
I think jealously was part of it, but it had more to do with what she perceived as her own short comings rather than Xander being involved with someone else. She was the girl who had been friends with Xander forever, she was the one who once had a crush on him yet he picked Faith; the new girl again. That probably hurt her self esteem some...left her wondering why bug teacher lady, Inca Mummy girl, Cordy and Faith all caught Xander's eye when she didn't. The fact that she thought something like this would never happen when it did also made it clear to her that she didn't know Xander as well as she thought. Add that to the jealousy she had been feeling about Faith and Buffy hanging out and it's understandable why she would react so strongly.
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Yes, that makes sense! I also think it was a mix of different factors ..
 
brinkster130
brinkster130
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Sorry peeps, the reason why Willow didn't like seeing Xander (the Xan man) with other girls IE Cordelia, Faith, Anya wasn't due to any form of jealousy. It was something that Xander once did to her.
That mean, inconsiderate, and dare I say it horrible act that left our poor Willow mentally scarred and traumatised. That heinous act when Xander took her barbie doll!
Because of the mental scars and the traumatization that Willow endured, she now sees every girl that Xander is with as someone that Xander will give that barbie doll too.
The reason why she was especially so 'that way' with Cordelia? Cordy looks like her barbie.....
And God forbid, that they might actually use a yellow crayon.
That mental anguish might sort of explain why she had a thing for that football jock in an episode. Or maybe it was to keep him from Anya, and the other girls who didn't have a chance with him: Buffy and little Dawnie.



And here is a disconserting thought. If Cordy looked like that barbie......... what sort of things did Xander do to that poor barbie?
Eeeeuuuuwwwwwwwww!
 
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Kenimowy said:
I have a hard time understanding why Willow was so distraught when they all discovered that Xander and Faith hooked up? Because at that point she seemed very happt and content and into the relationship she had with Oz, but that moment exhibits jealously? Or at least thats how it seems...am I interpreting that scene incorrectly?
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I don't think Willow was jealous, I think she was upset because Faith used Xander.
 
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