Women partially responsible for sexual harassment

Skanky Vamp

Skanky Vamp

Sniffin' the Slayer
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Black Thorn
Angela Lansbury recently told the Telegraph that women must accept some blame for sexual harassment and abuse because they go out of their way to make themselves attractive to men. She goes on to say it's not the individuals (the victims) fault, but still, she says they have to accept some of the blame.

Granted, a woman looking hot may make sexually abusing her easier (or more fun), but it really has nothing to do with looks, it has to do with power. You can be a mutter or a chubber and get sexually harassed just as easy; maybe easier. So the problem isn't just women making themselves attractive.
 
Lansbury's comment are disgusting and absolutely not true. They also fail to take into account that a lot of women feel the need to dress to impress men because society constantly forces that mindframe on us, emphasising that women are nothing if they are not attractive (to men) and reinforcing unrealistic beauty and body standards. Comments like hers are what set us back every time allegations of abuse, assault and harassment come to light and she should be ashamed.
 
These kind of statements have ALWAYS irked me to no end.

Why should I have to cover myself up so boys can control themselves?
This is sickening. I should be able to dress as provocatively or conservatively as I so please without worrying how a man may react.
This is where society needs to stop teaching girls how to fend off sexual abusers and start teaching boys to not sexually abuse or harass women.
The issue is the men are NOT taught respect. But the women are taught how to avoid being a target.
We shouldn't have to do anything differently. Victim blaming is so ridiculous.

Btw I'm not saying all boys are like this. I know many men highly respect women and were taught well by their parents how to treat ladies.
What I stated above just seems to be this general rule. Instead of teaching boys to not rape, we teach women how to avoid being raped.
 
RachM
RachM
Well said!
She does have a point though, I mean in her day and age women were supposed to look, act and behave in a certain manner. If you were barefoot and pregnant at home cooking your husband's dinner it would certainly make the prospect of being sexually harassed that much smaller.
 
Professor Walsh
Professor Walsh
Yes, I can see where she is coming from, even if I firmly disagree.
Mr. Pole said:
She does have a point though, I mean in her day and age women were supposed to look, act and behave in a certain manner. If you were barefoot and pregnant at home cooking your husband's dinner it would certainly make the prospect of being sexually harassed that much smaller.
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No, she does not have any point. Nor do you. How does a "barefoot" woman that never leaves the home protect herself from domestic abuse? And if the only way to escape sexual assault is to become pregnant, then not having sex at all does not seem to be an option.

It is not as if countries were women dress "modestly" are free of rape. Countries such as India, Pakistan, Congo and Afghanistan practice strict dress codes for women, but that does not mean those women are safe.

If dressing revealingly really increases the probability of being attacked, which I am highly sceptical of, does that not mean that putting on more clothes simply leads to someone else being raped?
 
WillowFromBuffy said:
If dressing revealingly really increases the probability of being attacked, which I am highly sceptical of, does that not mean that putting on more clothes simply leads to someone else being raped?
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She wasn't talking about rape, she was talking about sexual harassment. There is a difference between sexual harassment and rape.

And you have never heard the term barefoot and pregnant before? It's not to be taken literal. LOL
 
Mr. Pole said:
She wasn't talking about rape, she was talking about sexual harassment. There is a difference between sexual harassment and rape.
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“We must sometimes take blame, women. I really do think that. Although it’s awful to say we can’t make ourselves look as attractive as possible without being knocked down and raped,” the 92-year-old told Radio Times.

Not that it would matter either way. I could rephrase it as: Dressing to avoid sexual harassment would only lead to someone else being sexually harassed in your stead, if such a thing as dressing to avoid sexual harassment was indeed possible.
Mr. Pole said:
And you have never heard the term barefoot and pregnant before? It's not to be taken literal. LOL
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You will see that I wrote "barefoot" in quotation marks and used the figurative interpretation. Barefoot and pregnant is a figure of speech that means a woman who does not have a life outside the home. It plays upon the fact that you need shoes to walk outside. The pregnant bit is, of course, literal.

A woman whose life is completely contained to the home would have a hard time protecting herself against abuse from her husband. Even divorce may seem impossible, if she has no job or network.
 
Mr. Pole said:
She does have a point though, I mean in her day and age women were supposed to look, act and behave in a certain manner. If you were barefoot and pregnant at home cooking your husband's dinner it would certainly make the prospect of being sexually harassed that much smaller.
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Which was also ridiculous that women were ever expected to act "appropriately."

Yes, so let's just live a life of entrapment with no other wordly joys other than cooking my man a home-cooked meal. Women should be allowed every experience a man is allowed without having to defend her right to have it. As should men as well! This goes both ways. Chivalry and respect should be given and received from both genders. That's the entire point of equality.
 
Skanky Vamp
Skanky Vamp
Not saying otherwise. I said that I could see where she would think that based about the generation in which she came up.
WillowFromBuffy said:
Barefoot and pregnant is a figure of speech that means a woman who does not have a life outside the home.
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Not work outside the home I think is what you are meaning to say. Not working outside the home is not the same thing as not having a life outside the home. Numerous women from her era had lives outside the home but did not work.
 
Mr. Pole: Not saying otherwise. I said that I could see where she would think that based about the generation in which she came up.

But that doesn't mean that's she's right or that she "has a point", it just shows that people need to update their way of thinking and adjust to modern times. This would be the same as rationalizing someone's homophobia or racism by saying "Well, they're from a different time". We should never stop trying to learn, grow and adjust, especially when it comes to letting go of/changing harmful ways of thinking/seeing things.
 
RachM said:
Mr. Pole: Not saying otherwise. I said that I could see where she would think that based about the generation in which she came up.

But that doesn't mean that's she's right or that she "has a point", it just shows that people need to update their way of thinking and adjust to modern times. This would be the same as rationalizing someone's homophobia or racism by saying "Well, they're from a different time". We should never stop trying to learn, grow and adjust, especially when it comes to letting go of/changing harmful ways of thinking/seeing things.
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I agree. Especially when you read my initial post pretty much disagreeing with what she said. But from her perspective those are truths. So rather than just saying "she doesn't have a point" you look and try to understand where she is coming from so that you could (if you actually knew her) enlighten her as to how the mindset has changed. Ignoring and dismissing her view as antiquated does a disservice because there are elements of truth in it. Especially when there is a vast amount of women- at least in the US- that think similarly.
 
Mr. Pole said:
Not work outside the home I think is what you are meaning to say. Not working outside the home is not the same thing as not having a life outside the home. Numerous women from her era had lives outside the home but did not work.
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I am totally confused. You said that women who are barefoot and pregnant are less likely to be sexually assaulted. A "barefoot" woman is a woman who leaves the house as little as possible. Wasn't your point that the four walls of the home would protect the barefoot woman from the dangers outside?
 
I do not give a fig what Angela Who thinks, its doesn't concern me or any one, I only hate whomever might feel distressed after reading silly inane comments like these, which are spouted off carelessly in the aftermath of media controversy to bring attention to ones self, it is despicable to court controversy in this manner because messaging about sexual assault is so vital in a culture but it need not be a landmine, it is not a hard thing to do, no is asking for it, no one deserves to be assaulted, the end.

Any one depressed by the flood of allegations should take heart I am little impressed by how we have not seen a single Rush Limbaugh type jerk spouting off and belitting the women who came forward, maybe it was precipitated by the outrage at Donald Trump but things change slowly and then all at once, so it is a sea change nonetheless and that is all that matters. Even the farthest rightwing commentator would not dare use this to bait the public is great news and sending a strong message.

Also, good thing to keep in mind that this *92* year old women simply might not be as she once was, possibly the beginning of losing her faculties if not full blown on set of dementia...
 
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I do get sick of having to explain what I was wearing whenever I talk about incidents of sexual harassment and violence in my life.

And though I know it will seem completely random (but it's not, I'm thinking of the toxic messages aimed at men AND women that contribute to a lot of it which AL seems to be overlooking), kudos for Prince Eric for not kissing the girl when he didn't even know Ariel's name (though the Disney song criticized him for it).
 
Having my dick grabbed at a festival whilst looking as trampy as usual leads me to believe there might be a hole in this logic somewhere.

An actor over here in the UK is about to get a prison sentence for grabbing a woman by the crotch in a nightclub. Damn shame I never got a name to report.
 
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