Xander Has A Thing For Buffy

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See I don't think he quit with Buffy because he realised he never stood a chance, I think he quit with Buffy because his love for grew beyond that type of love and into something more powerful and more everlasting. I don't think Xander would date Buffy now if she begged, he would be to afraid of losing the mutual respect and love that they have.

I agree with this.... I think he had an epiphany that his relationship with Buffy was stronger as a friendship, and while I'd be giddy as hell at getting some REAL Bander action, I doubt it would ever happen. And honestly, I don't know if it should.
 
I definitely think that Xander having the high school crush and then later on being her "White Knight" is as far as it should have gone, I'm glad that Joss kept it that way, things would have been too weird.
 
I still think it would have been awesomely wonderful for Buffy to have a deep, romantic relationship with a human man who knew her secret and was there to support and fight along side her. This was the biggest reason I wanted to see Bander happen. But if it did happen, we all know what happens to happy couples and it probably would have meant that Xander would have had to die at some point and then part of my soul would have died, too. So yeah... Glad it didn't happen. LOL
 
I still think it would have been awesomely wonderful for Buffy to have a deep, romantic relationship with a human man who knew her secret and was there to support and fight along side her. This was the biggest reason I wanted to see Bander happen. But if it did happen, we all know what happens to happy couples and it probably would have meant that Xander would have had to die at some point and then part of my soul would have died, too. So yeah... Glad it didn't happen. LOL

Well, isn't that essentially what she had with Riley? He knew her secret, was human, loved, supported, and fought by her side. her. And I think what happened with that was a pretty clear illustration that Buffy can't really be happy or make it work with a human man. She's feels above them, more superior. Plus, she feels guilty about constantly putting them in harms way. Like Spike said, she likes a little monster on her man. 😉
A Champion like her deserves, in my opinion, someone more than human. Only then can they be truly equal.

And I agree about Bander. Although I'm not opposed to the 'ship, I don't want him to die, either.
 
Awww, I don't think she would have felt the same towards Xander. After all, she watched Riley go through all the aftermath of what the Initiative did to him, and it pretty much took away most of his ability to really kick ass the way he did when they originally got together. With Xander, he was the same from S1 to S7. Buffy would have known what to expect...
But still. I still know how Joss regards happy couples in his 'verse, so that probably meant he would have found some way to kill Xander off or get him off the show and I am definitely NOT cool with that. So... Bander lives only in my imagination. LOL
 
I am currently watching season 3...i think it is clear from season 1 Xander has a crush on Buffy...i am so grateful he gave her CPR in Prophecy Girl but so angry at him that in Becoming pt2 he didn't warn Buffy about Willow's spell...instead he chose the phrase :"kick his ass"...
He had always been jealous because Buffy chose Angel...even when he dated Cordy i am sure he still wanted Buffy...but if you people who have watched all seasons of Buffy say that this love became more like brother sister love i am glad!

Personally i can't imagine him and Buffy in a relationship,i just can't... cause i believe some people are just meant to remain friends...I would love to have seen Xander with Willow instead of Cordy in season 2 but that's just my personal opinion
 
I think that Xander harbored 'some' romantic feelings toward Buffy throughout the entire series. I think that he loved Anya but Buffy was always Xander's "what-if" girl.
By the end of season 6 and into season 7 I think that love had largely transformed into a more family-like love but from time to time you still saw those old feelings flare up.
 
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crazysoulless
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But I think if Buffy said "okay Xander, lets date" he would have jumped at the chance, but then it would have ruined the Scoobie gang set up.

If you read S8, you'll know that this is not true. 🙂

Xander is in a relationship with Dawn now, and Buffy confessed to have feelings for Xander, but he rejected her because he's with Dawn.
 
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Skytteflickan88
maybe he would have considered getting together with Buffy if he had believed her. Not that I think he'd just dump Dawn for buffy, but I think he'd think about it. I should probably re-read the comics again, my interpretation could be completely off
I can't believe they had Buffy have feelings for Xander. I could never see them being more than friends & I don't think he's Buffy's type.
 
I don't doubt Xander has feelings for Buffy to this day.

I wouldn't have wanted to see any of the core three date each other though. From the beginning, they became a close-knit family. As much as I hate hearing, "a relationship could ruin our friendship," in this case it could be true. If Willow and Xander had dated and it hadn't worked out, there could've been bitter feelings there for a long time and the group could've split up.
 
BibliophileAnn
BibliophileAnn
So true.
Skytteflickan88 agrees: maybe he would have considered getting together with Buffy if he had believed her. Not that I think he'd just dump Dawn for buffy, but I think he'd think about it. I should probably re-read the comics again, my interpretation could be completely off

I think the biggest obstacle is Xander being completely over Buffy now. He admitted that if she had feelings for him a few years ago, he'd be happy, but now he really moved on.

I agree with you that he doesn't believe her. Poor Buffy, how many men told her how she felt instead of believing her: Riley, Spike and now Xander. Only Angel believed that she truly loved him.
 
I don't think he is 100% passed his romantic/sexual feelings for her. If she told him at the beginning of the season at the Scottish castle I think he would believed her and considered whether he wanted to mess with their eight year friendship to be together.

There are dozens of post-S2 moments that show that Xander still has feelings for Buffy. I need to make a list!
 
But are those feelings enough to make him dump Anya or Dawn to be with Buffy? I find that so insulting to Xander's character as if he's just someone who thinks with nothing but his penis. I'm really happy with the way Joss did it -Xander rejecting Buffy. I think Xander had moved on a long time ago or at least that his feelings for Buffy as a romantic partner had mellowed A LOT after S2.

1) Usually Xander feels so jealous when Buffy dates anyone, but he was completely fine with her dating Scott, Riley, Ben, Wood. He even brought a guy in Buffy's birthday so she'd date him. His reasons for disliking Spike had nothing to do with jealousy as much as disliking Spike and thinking he's not good for Buffy.

2) During S1 and S2, Xander always made it clear that he's into Buffy, always dropping hints and making gestures to show that he wants her to be his girlfriend. From S3 on, he stopped doing that. Actually in S3, he was more focused on Cordelia and Willow, and even briefly Faith, far more than Buffy.

So, even if there are feelings, they're not as intense as they used to be, and not big enough for him to drop everything he has with Anya for Buffy.
 
How does Xander choosing to be with Buffy mean he is thinking only with his penis? He had actual feelings for her. It wasn't just that he thought she was hot.

He did still make it clear post-S2 that he was into her with hints and gestures.

I never said that he would drop everything he had with Anya. I didn't even mention Anya.
 
I think Xander and Buffy have always had the most explosive relationship. He's that person in her life that doesn't mind standing up to her and tells her exactly what he's thinking. Although sometimes I think, due to his jealousy, he's a little meaner than he needs to be.

I think Xander has always been a little bit in love with Buffy and probably always will.
 
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