Xander was way out of line yelling at Anya like that

[Joshua]

I'm watching "Entropy" and Xander was totally out of line at yelling at Anya like that for sleeping with Spike.

Ok? You & Anya were no longer together, You left Anya at the altar she is not to blame for your actions.

 

[Cast No Shadow]

Yeah, if Xander is a perfect person, but no one is. No one is completely rational and thinks completely with their head like that, unless, like us, they're completely out of the situation.

Anya didn't back out on the wedding, so Xander probably believed that she acted out of spite and hatred for him, which he didn't feel was justified, as he felt that his reasons for leaving her at the altar were right.

Regardless of what had happened, seeing her on tape like that, with someone Xander hated, it's got to hurt.

 

[xfivebyfive]

Xander gets judged too harshly for every thing he does. No he had no right to have a say in who anya slept with but he's not perfect, he was jealous because he loved her. Yes its his fault for them not being together and I get extremely angry at him for leaving her at the alter. and yes in that scene I'm like oh shut up Xander. Dont judge them lol But really Xander is not this horrible misogynistic jerk so many people try to paint him as. He's flawed, he's human, but he's a good man.

 

[hazzard]

i agree he had absolutely no right to act as he did. but, in the same situation, i can't say i would have felt or done any differently. so i completely understand his reaction. and that's the beauty of his character, i think.

 

[BuffyElevated]

Xander gets judged too harshly for every thing he does. No he had no right to have a say in who anya slept with but he's not perfect, he was jealous because he loved her. Yes its his fault for them not being together and I get extremely angry at him for leaving her at the alter. and yes in that scene I'm like oh shut up Xander. Dont judge them lol But really Xander is not this horrible misogynistic jerk so many people try to paint him as. He's flawed, he's human, but he's a good man.

I wish I could agree with this a million times. Out of all the characters on the show, Xander gets judged for his actions way worse than anyone else on the show- including the murderers. I don't get it, and never will...

Xander acted out of hurt. Anyone that says they've never said or done anything out of hurt that didn't really make sense is lying.

 

[Icarium]

I wish I could agree with this a million times. Out of all the characters on the show, Xander gets judged for his actions way worse than anyone else on the show- including the murderers. I don't get it, and never will...

Word. I find it bizarre that Xander gets so much criticism for yelling at Anya while Anya trying to kill him in the very same episode is very rarely mentioned by anybody. Call me crazy but in my book attempted murder (and the many actual murders that somehow result in less character bashing than some of Xander's actions) is always worse than just being rude to people.

 

[shadcat]

Word. I find it bizarre that Xander gets so much criticism for yelling at Anya while Anya trying to kill him in the very same episode is very rarely mentioned by anybody. Call me crazy but in my book attempted murder (and the many actual murders that somehow result in less character bashing than some of Xander's actions) is always worse than just being rude to people.

lol good point. But didn't Anya not have a "soul" when she tried to kill Xander? She was a demon then, so I know that she was "evil." But I dunno if the same rules apply as Vamps.

 

[Dagenspear]

I wish I could agree with this a million times. Out of all the characters on the show, Xander gets judged for his actions way worse than anyone else on the show- including the murderers. I don't get it, and never will...

Xander acted out of hurt. Anyone that says they've never said or done anything out of hurt that didn't really make sense is lying.

And if he showed real remorse or regret for his actions it wouldn't be such an issue. But he almost never does. In every bad thing he's ever done. Human or not, that doesn't make his actions okay at all. Ever.

 

[BuffyElevated]

And if he showed real remorse or regret for his actions it wouldn't be such an issue. But he almost never does. In every bad thing he's ever done. Human or not, that doesn't make his actions okay at all. Ever.

Xander shows remorse... He showed a LOT of remorse in Season 3 after he cheated on Cordelia, and again after he left Anya at the altar. He shows regret and emotion a lot more than you are letting on. I think some people are just so hellbent on hating him that they refuse to try to see his good side.

 

[Dagenspear]

Xander shows remorse... He showed a LOT of remorse in Season 3 after he cheated on Cordelia, and again after he left Anya at the altar. He shows regret and emotion a lot more than you are letting on. I think some people are just so hellbent on hating him that they refuse to try to see his good side.

Or maybe some people are so intent on seeing the good that they don't completely see the bad. Xander feels some remorse AFTER HE'S CAUGHT cheating on Cordelia, for about an episode, but even then, what does he do? He justifies his actions. He does something similar with Anya. He never takes on COMPLETE BLAME or COMPLETE GUILT, even though HE'S THE ONE COMPLETELY AT FAULT. And not to mention his hand in the Angel thing, in which, not only does he not show guilt or remorse, but actually seems to relish the idea that Buffy might've had to kill Angel. He doesn't think at all about the pain that would cause her. He actually attempts to make it happen again! What a good friend.

 

[BuffyElevated]

Or maybe some people are so intent on seeing the good that they don't completely see the bad. Xander feels some remorse AFTER HE'S CAUGHT cheating on Cordelia, for about an episode, but even then, what does he do? He justifies his actions. He does something similar with Anya. He never takes on COMPLETE BLAME or COMPLETE GUILT, even though HE'S THE ONE COMPLETELY AT FAULT. And not to mention his hand in the Angel thing, in which, not only does he not show guilt or remorse, but actually seems to relish the idea that Buffy might've had to kill Angel. He doesn't think at all about the pain that would cause her. He actually attempts to make it happen again! What a good friend.

Call me crazy, but if Angel tried to kill my friends (and actually succeeded with one of them), I'd want him dead too, regardless of how much pain it would cause anyone, including one of my closest friends. But that's just me.
I am perfectly able to see the bad in Xander. I even admitted in this thread that he is a hypocrite at times. I know he's not perfect. He can be a total douchebag sometimes, but that is why I love him, because he is flawed. He tends to speak first and think later and I can identify with that a lot, and I think a lot of other people can too. He's selfish and mean-spirited sometimes, but at the end of the day, he's still an amazingly loyal friend and a great man who fights for what he believes in.
I'm not gonna argue with you on this... You clearly hate Xander and I clearly love him, so I don't think we'll ever get the other to see our point of view.

 

[sosa lola]

I don't think he'd have gone with an axe to murder the guy Anya was having sex with had it not been Spike. I think his hurt and anger mingled with hating Spike drove him to act this way, which shows an ugly side of Xander. I really wish they explored this side of him more.

I liked when he expressed his regret for hurting Buffy's feelings in the next episode. I don't remember him doing the same with Anya, but I might have missed it.

 

[xfivebyfive]

He can be a total douchebag sometimes, but that is why I love him, because he is flawed. He tends to speak first and think later and I can identify with that a lot, and I think a lot of other people can too. He's selfish and mean-spirited sometimes, but at the end of the day, he's still an amazingly loyal friend and a great man who fights for what he believes in.

I love this. Thats how I feel about Xander. I know he can be a jerk, he says things without thinking and he hurts people. But he loves his friends more then anything, he's intensely loyal, and protective.

Xander is flawed. But tell me one character on this show that isn't? They all have flaws. But that doesn't make them horrible people. Xander never intentionally hurts the people he loves.

 

[Icarium]

Or maybe some people are so intent on seeing the good that they don't completely see the bad. Xander feels some remorse AFTER HE'S CAUGHT cheating on Cordelia, for about an episode, but even then, what does he do? He justifies his actions.

He does? How? And no, the sarcastic "it was their fault they caught us cheating" does not count. Correct me if I am wrong, but in another thread you had no problem characterising Faith as a victim despite her remorse taking much more time to happen and her crimes being far more serious than anything Xander ever did. Seems like a double standard to me.

He does something similar with Anya. He never takes on COMPLETE BLAME or COMPLETE GUILT, even though HE'S THE ONE COMPLETELY AT FAULT.

And Anya's victim showing up and putting a face to her hitherto vague crimes had nothing to do with Xander's decision, right?

And not to mention his hand in the Angel thing, in which, not only does he not show guilt or remorse, but actually seems to relish the idea that Buffy might've had to kill Angel.

It was either "kill Angel" or "Let Angel kill dozens of people/destroy the world". Can you really expect Xander who never liked the guy in the first place to value his survival over that of his many victims?

He doesn't think at all about the pain that would cause her.

You mean as opposed to the great fun that is Angel killing Buffy's classmates and sending them after her? Xander thought that the sooner Buffy managed to kill Angel, the less pain there would be for her and also less innocent people would have to die. Considering that I think he showed amazing restraint to not press Buffy to kill him until he murdered Jenny. He wasn't to know that a plot device giving Angel back his soul would appear. And when it did you could argue that his infamous lie was aimed at sparing Buffy any false hopes.

 

[Gum Gnome33]

I find it bizarre that Xander gets so much criticism for yelling at Anya while Anya trying to kill him in the very same episode is very rarely mentioned by anybody.

I agree with you 100% that it's very much a double standard, from our perspective. But remember that Xander had no idea that Anya had wished him dead. All he knew at this point in time was that he left Anya at the alter, and she, upset, slept with Spike.

Given this information, (the only information Xander had), I do think it was unfair of him to react as he did. Call me crazy but if you leave someone at the altar I don't think you have much ground to stand on when you want to get upset that they're sleeping with someone else.

All that being said: Xander is a human being, and he was passionate and upset. I'd probably have yelled too. I don't think it was the right way to handle the situation, but I can understand why it happened.

 

[Icarium]

I agree with you 100% that it's very much a double standard, from our perspective. But remember that Xander had no idea that Anya had wished him dead. All he knew at this point in time was that he left Anya at the alter, and she, upset, slept with Spike.

I didn't mean criticism from other character, I referred to bashing from the fans. But still, I find it very stupid of Willow, Tara, Buffy and Dawn to not get why Anya might be asking them to make those wishes. I don't really like comedy where the characters behave like morons.

 

[RipperGilesFan]

Xander is flawed. But tell me one character on this show that isn't? They all have flaws. But that doesn't make them horrible people. Xander never intentionally hurts the people he loves.

I agree. none of the characters in BtVS are perfect but are flawed. But I think it's one of the reasons it's so easy to relate to them. Also because even though when flawed they all have their hearts in the right place....the main characters that is. not the vamps and monsters of course 😀

 

[EvilWillow]

I always hated the way Xander made Anya out to be the bad guy. "This is your solution to our problems." Um... YOUR solution was leaving her at the alter! I can't think of anything worse to do to a significant other....besides cheating, and of course he's done that too!

I completely understand why Anya slept with Spike, and I don't judge her at all. I don't think Xander had ANY right to do what he did. He made his decision when he left her. Oh, and how he expected to still date her after what he did to her, I have supreme hatred for this man in season 6. lol

 

[Dagenspear]

I always hated the way Xander made Anya out to be the bad guy. "This is your solution to our problems." Um... YOUR solution was leaving her at the alter! I can't think of anything worse to do to a significant other....besides cheating, and of course he's done that too!

I completely understand why Anya slept with Spike, and I don't judge her at all. I don't think Xander had ANY right to do what he did. He made his decision when he left her. Oh, and how he expected to still date her after what he did to her, I have supreme hatred for this man in season 6. lol

Truth in almost every word.

 

[TeamSunnydale]

I want to to yes, Xander's reaction was out of line, but I probably would have done the same thing. Xander's not perfect, no-one is, so what do you expect? How is he supposed to react? Yes, its none of his business what his ex does, but he still loves her and was in a fragile place.