Xander's Not Perfect

[SinisterPledge]

The trouble with Xander is that he was so busy being jealous that he doesn't take the time to appreciate what he already had.

Welcome to 2012, we're in the age of mass-consumerism and what you wrote is pretty much the general trait of all humans. 😉



I will always love Xander, no matter what. He's a good person at heart and his flaws are, in my opinion, less annoying and infuriating than others.

 

[itssmiletime]

Late answer, but after watching Anne/ Dead Man's Party / Faith, Hope & Trick today, there are times when Xander really needs to shut his mouth.

"Look. I'm sorry that your honey was a demon, but most girls don't hop a Greyhound over boy troubles"

Buffy: What if he's mad?
Xander: Mad'? Just because you ran away and abandoned your post and
your friends and your mom and made him lay awake every night worrying
about you?

"And what'll we talk about at a gathering anyway? 'So, Buffy, did you
meet any nice pimps on your travels? And, oh, by the by, thanks for ruining our
lives for the past three months.'"

Buffy: "Punish you? I didn't do this to punish you."
Xander: Well, you did. You should've seen what you put her through."

And that's just the one episode. Sure, Xander would've felt worried and concerned, but when Buffy came back at a vulnerable state, he came across as so judgemental. Does he know what it is like to see your lover turn against you? The guilt? Have your mother give you an ultimatium that resulted in Buffy not feeling welcome? No, and that ''tough love'' act that he often uses, and repeats in Into The Woods is baby psychiatry. Sure, characters are very flawed: In Bargaining, Willow is naive, Anya's decision to become a vengeance demon again is out of pure spite and sadness, Cordelia is insensitive in Homecoming... yet they grow and develop as characters. Xander doesn't grow that much, not compared to characters such as Giles, Buffy and Faith. After he discovers that Spike had sex with Buffy and Anya in Entropy, he seems so... cruel. He also seems rather paranoid, as if Anya having sex with Spike was a way to ''get back at him''. This is manipulative and caused a guilt trip.

I don't think Xander is a bad person. He is on the right side of the battle between good and evil. But he lacks the awareness and the consequences for his actions, which other characters have.

 

[Robb Stark]

Late answer, but after watching Anne/ Dead Man's Party / Faith, Hope & Trick today, there are times when Xander really needs to shut his mouth.

"Look. I'm sorry that your honey was a demon, but most girls don't hop a Greyhound over boy troubles"

Buffy: What if he's mad?
Xander: Mad'? Just because you ran away and abandoned your post and
your friends and your mom and made him lay awake every night worrying
about you?

"And what'll we talk about at a gathering anyway? 'So, Buffy, did you
meet any nice pimps on your travels? And, oh, by the by, thanks for ruining our
lives for the past three months.'"

Buffy: "Punish you? I didn't do this to punish you."
Xander: Well, you did. You should've seen what you put her through."

And that's just the one episode. Sure, Xander would've felt worried and concerned, but when Buffy came back at a vulnerable state, he came across as so judgemental. Does he know what it is like to see your lover turn against you? The guilt? Have your mother give you an ultimatium that resulted in Buffy not feeling welcome? No, and that ''tough love'' act that he often uses, and repeats in Into The Woods is baby psychiatry. Sure, characters are very flawed: In Bargaining, Willow is naive, Anya's decision to become a vengeance demon again is out of pure spite and sadness, Cordelia is insensitive in Homecoming... yet they grow and develop as characters. Xander doesn't grow that much, not compared to characters such as Giles, Buffy and Faith. After he discovers that Spike had sex with Buffy and Anya in Entropy, he seems so... cruel. He also seems rather paranoid, as if Anya having sex with Spike was a way to ''get back at him''. This is manipulative and caused a guilt trip.

I don't think Xander is a bad person. He is on the right side of the battle between good and evil. But he lacks the awareness and the consequences for his actions, which other characters have.

Yeah, particularly in the early seasons of the series, Xander gets incredibly immature and self-absorbed at times. His attitude during Buffy and Angel's returns at the beginning of S3 drove me crazy. He just shows zero empathy or understanding. I could be misreading it, but my take on why Xander is such a jerk over that whole ordeal goes something like this. Xander has a long-standing, and not-very-hidden, crush on Buffy and he's overly secretive that he's both very protective of her and very jealous of Angel. Because of that, there are times when it feels like he's not only waiting for Angel to screw up, he actually wants it to happen. He's completely unwilling to see the facts right in front of his eyes that the situation with Angel isn't black and white, and how he acts in "Becoming" by not telling Buffy about Willow's spell is beyond horrible.

However, to balance it out, he does grow up, or at least I felt he does. He's pretty awesome in "Amends", where he not only admits he was out of line for how he acted towards Buffy about Angel, but he helps Angel as well. It takes guts to admit you're wrong like that, and to do something about it. While I thought he could have been more understanding later in the series about Spike and Buffy, I felt he was far more justified there in how he acted, even if I didn't wholly agree with him.

 

[fester75]

I'm shocked that anyone hates Xander.

 

[kittenpoker]

I haven't kept up with the comics, so I'm just basing what I say on the show....


Yes, of course Xander is flawed. As is ever character. As are all of us. He absolutely has really really low points. "Kick his ass" and leaving Anya at the alter. those are really really bad things.

But he's saved Buffy's life numerable times. He always charges toward a fight even though he has no super powers. He inspires buffy when she needs it (wind beneath her wings?)

And in the zeppo ep he displays true courage. He's a champion.

 

[Xin Rong]

I agree that Xander is just a person with flaws who makes like the rest of the cast. The main problem is that one of his flaws is that he doesn't accept the flaws of his friends, he's always getting on a high horse, and putting his friends down for their mistakes, and that behavior doesn't come from a place of knowledge and concern, it comes from jealousy.

For example, when buffy returns in season 3, Xander puts her down more than anyone, when in actual fact he has the least right to, he only does it because he is jealous that buffy is mourning over angel, ergo doesn't care about him, and because for once he can feel and act like he's better than Buffy.

P.S I'm not entirely disagreeing with Xander, but I do think his motives are generally questionable