Xander's Soulmate?

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Buffyverse Fan

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Assuming living or dead characters are still game, as the likely are, who do you think Xander belongs with as-of Buffy Season Nine?

BS1-2 Crush: Buffy

BS3 GF: Cordy

BS3 Crush: Willow

BS4-7 Partner: Anya

BS8 GF: Renee (I think)

BS9 GF: Dawn

or any others you can think of?

Personally, I would still say Anya probably. Definitely not Dawn.
 
Nothing could sway me from the belief that Post-season 7 BTVS Xander and S5 ATS Cordy (if she had lived) were perfect for each other. I feel like they had both finally grown up enough that they could connect on that empathetic level that they were missing hi high school.
 
Define soulmate.

Anya is a safe bet but I don't know, I mean, I wouldn't call her the most important person in Xander's life and also, I don't think that Anya truly understands Xander. Now, there are two women in the world that actually get Xander, that's Willow, who's not into men, and as much as it pains me to say it, Buffy. Buffy just gets him and she's kinda the most important person in his life. Last I checked though they weren't exactly lusting after each other.

Yeah, I have no idea.
 
I like what [MENTION=7585]Kean[/MENTION] said about Xander towards the end of BTVS and Cordy after she'd gone through and developed so much on AtS. They seem like an excellent match for one another and given their history, I could see it working really well.

I know Anya will be the popular answer, but I was never invested in their relationship. I thought Anya was sort of brought in just to give Xander something to do post-S3 and provide comedy relief, and never really progressed much beyond that (I'm talking from a writing standpoint). Even when she and Xander split up, it felt like there was nothing more to her than Xander. And while I hate referring to the comics because I don't think they're all that good or even relevant to the show, that appears to be what the direction Xander has gone in. I mean, for a character who was a main cast member for so long, Anya is hardly even referenced in S8.

So who then? I think the person who fits and suits him best is Willow, and I would have absolutely LOVED to see the two of them come together romantically again in S7, but I understand that the optics of doing so given the direction of Willow's character wouldn't have permitted that. Still, if I had to choose just one person, that we know of yet, as Xander's soulmate, it would be Willow. But I enjoyed his relationship with Cordy the most.
 
Honestly, I'm going to say no one that we know of. Cordelia to me was the perfect example of a high school love. You think you're forever going to be together but that most often than not is not true. Anya, well I never got the feeling that they were a perfect match, they might have been in love but that's not enough in a lot of cases. I think she was definitely his first real thing, that had the possibility to work long time, but I never thought she would be the last either. Haven't read far enough into the comic, so can't really comment on Dawn. Buffy is just too far into the friendzone, it might work but I feel like they would have come to that conclusion earlier than 9 years later. Plus, Xander is not exactly Buffy's type. Willow, well, there's the whole gay thing standing in the way. Now, I'm not saying I wouldn't want Xander with any of those characters (I both like Cordy and Anya very much as choices for him), but I don't think any were his definite soulmate.

To me, the only real couple that strikes me as soulmate in the whole serie is Willow and Tara, and possibly Buffy and Angel, but I think even that's pushing it a bit.
 
I would also say that Xander hasn't met his soul mate yet. I think Anya got under his skin way too much to be a true soul mate, although I do believe that they shared a deep bond and love. Bearing in mind I don't read the comics I always thought that the closest thing to soul mate that Xander has is Dawn. They understood each other greatly and always seemed to have such love for one another.
 
Blaze
Blaze
[No message]
If "soulmate" can just be the person you are drawn to or connected to above all others then Willow is it, imo. Buffy could qualify too. I fully believe a soulmate can be a friend or a parent/child or a sibling, etc. It doesn't have to have romantic connotations. It's just your soul's perfect match.

That said, romantic options... hmm. I don't think any one of those options stands above the others for me. They were all good in their own ways and had potential for more. I NEVER wanted Xander/Buffy during the show's run, but I think they've grown to a place where they'd be good for each other. So my vote is for Buffy. Or maybe Anya. Ah, choices!
 
caitaintdead said:
Bearing in mind I don't read the comics I always thought that the closest thing to soul mate that Xander has is Dawn. They understood each other greatly and always seemed to have such love for one another.
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Well famously, Ross & Rachel on Friends, he had a massive unrequited crush on her during adolescence, and they wound up together as adults. But in reality, that just seems a little creepy to me--where one persons pines for someone for years, and the other has no interest.

I'm pretty sure most of the cast who are aware of Xander/Dawn have commented on it being creepy as well. I seem to recall Nick saying something along the lines of "Dawn? I still think of her as a 14 year-old girl! ...just the way I like them" jokingly of course 😛
 
Buffyverse Fan said:
Well famously, Ross & Rachel on Friends, he had a massive unrequited crush on her during adolescence, and they wound up together as adults. But in reality, that just seems a little creepy to me--where one persons pines for someone for years, and the other has no interest.

I'm pretty sure most of the cast who are aware of Xander/Dawn have commented on it being creepy as well. I seem to recall Nick saying something along the lines of "Dawn? I still think of her as a 14 year-old girl! ...just the way I like them" jokingly of course 😛
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Everyone is welcome to their own opinion of course. In MY opinion though, I don't see what's creepy about an age difference of 4 years. That is nothing. In the past couple of months I've dated a guy that is 7 years younger than me and a guy that is 10 years older than me. Nothing seemed creepy about it. Perhaps I'm a bit more sexually liberated than most though hehe. I think once two people are over the age of 18 it's free to be on for young and old (pun intended).
 
R
Robb Stark
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I'm baffled that some people would find Xander and Dawn creepy while she's 18-19 and he's 24 (correct me if I'm wrong?), while they are fine with a 16yo Buffy and a 200+ yo Angel. In the real world, an 18yo girl dating a 24yo guy is not exactly abnormal, actually, a lot of girls that are Dawn's age do it. When Dawn is 40 and Xander 46, it really won't matter at all. I guess the only creepy thing is that Xander knew Dawn at 14, but that really doesn't mean anything because he didn't have feelings for her back then. He got the feelings years later when she matured a lot, and became legal, so I really don't see the problem. I find Angel a lot creepier for liking Buffy at 16. Xander in his case, didn't even cross the boundary of legal age, while Angel has (even if you still think of him as a 20 ish year old guy). There is nothing creepy about Xander and Dawn.
 
Blaze said:
I'm baffled that some people would find Xander and Dawn creepy while she's 18-19 and he's 24 (correct me if I'm wrong?), while they are fine with a 16yo Buffy and a 200+ yo Angel. In the real world, an 18yo girl dating a 24yo guy is not exactly abnormal, actually, a lot of girls that are Dawn's age do it. When Dawn is 40 and Xander 46, it really won't matter at all. I guess the only creepy thing is that Xander knew Dawn at 14, but that really doesn't mean anything because he didn't have feelings for her back then. He got the feelings years later when she matured a lot, and became legal, so I really don't see the problem. I find Angel a lot creepier for liking Buffy at 16. Xander in his case, didn't even cross the boundary of legal age, while Angel has (even if you still think of him as a 20 ish year old guy). There is nothing creepy about Xander and Dawn.
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I think people have an issue with it because Xander saw/treated Dawn as a younger sister and babysat her.
 
B
Buffyverse Fan
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E
EffieT1
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Kean said:
I think people have an issue with it because Xander saw/treated Dawn as a younger sister and babysat her.
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Ya, I can see why some would be bothered by it. The way I see it, he protected her more so than babysat her. A 14 year old doesn't really need babysitting (at least in most cases), but because her sister was the slayer, she definitely needed protection, as well as just ensuring she doesn't go out at night or something. I guess I just don't find it as weird as other, it'd be a different story if he babysat her and literally changed her diaper, but that's not the case here.
 
[MENTION=8404]Blaze[/MENTION]
I'm baffled that some people would find Xander and Dawn creepy while she's 18-19 and he's 24 (correct me if I'm wrong?), while they are fine with a 16yo Buffy and a 200+ yo Angel.
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I think it's funny because unlike Xander/Dawn, Buffy/Angel is meant to be creepy. The flashback scenes in "Becoming" have a very strong paedo-subtext to them, Buffy's even dressed to the part, with the lollipop and whatnot. I know the context, but still.

some people
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How about Buffy? Here's what she tells Xander:

No, it's fine. Dawn's a grown woman and you're a disgusting paedophile. (...) Cradle robber?
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Angel's one thing but Buffy actually went to bed with a girl just about her sister's age, likely even younger than Dawn. Buffy's hypocrisy and double standards, nothing new, well documented but this, it's like Adolf Hitler calling somebody an anti-Semite.
 
caitaintdead said:
Everyone is welcome to their own opinion of course. In MY opinion though, I don't see what's creepy about an age difference of 4 years. That is nothing. In the past couple of months I've dated a guy that is 7 years younger than me and a guy that is 10 years older than me. Nothing seemed creepy about it. Perhaps I'm a bit more sexually liberated than most though hehe. I think once two people are over the age of 18 it's free to be on for young and old (pun intended).
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Were you responding to Nick's joke?

The age thing wasn't my point at all, it was the change in roles being creepy. Dawn has a crush on Xander, in the world they remember for what? Half a decade? And that whole time Xander's seeing her as a baby sister who he loves like a little sister. Then he's suddenly having sex with her.

I would also say that Nick's joke could also have to do with his & Michelle's age difference is even greater than their fictional counterparts. When they started working together, she was like a tween and he was 30 😱

---------- Post added at 03:19 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:13 PM ----------

EVIL UU said:
Angel's one thing but Buffy actually went to bed with a girl just about her sister's age, likely even younger than Dawn. Buffy's hypocrisy and double standards
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I get what you're saying, but Joss said often that the thing with Buffy is that she was psychologically a woman when she arrived in Sunnydale--the slaying made her grow up prematurely.

Even though you can argue it was just Joss covering for pairing a 16 year-old actress with a grown man, I largely buy it. Surely a soldier grows up faster than others.
 
Kean
Kean
SMG was 18 when S1 was being shot :)
[MENTION=8682]Buffyverse Fan[/MENTION]
I get what you're saying, but Joss said often that the thing with Buffy is that she was psychologically a woman when she arrived in Sunnydale--the slaying made her grow up prematurely. Even though you can argue it was just Joss covering for pairing a 16 year-old actress with a grown man, I largely buy it. Surely a soldier grows up faster than others.
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I don't find it creepy because of Buffy's age, I don't think that there's anything inherently creepy or wrong about sleeping with a 16 ( or whatever the age of consent is in a given location ) year old, as far as I'm concerned, it's legal for a reason, whatever works for you. I find it creepy because of how it is portrayed. Angel looks like one of those creeps who park in front of schools to watch kids and masturbate in their cars. He becomes obsessed with Buffy, who's just totally fetished out in that scene and stalks her for months, following her from city to city. He channels Angelus, watching her from the bushes, peeping into her bedroom, violating her privacy. Angel acts like a predatory stalker, the fact that Buffy's 15 only intensifies the creepiness.
 
Pretty honestly, I'd say spike. I just see a lot of the building blocks that could create a strong relationship between them.
 
Xanders soulmate? I am not sure about that, but I really did like the dynamic between him and Cordi.

Am I the only one that would have liked to seen where a Xander/Faith relationship would have gone?? The whole opposites attract thing would have worked perfect between them. I wonder how having a love for Xander would have effected Faith. Hmmm, the possibilities here are endless on how it could have effected both characters.
 
Moscow Watcher
Moscow Watcher
*waves* Hey, big Fander shipper here! :)
Meh. I'm not going to argue my point, as I said, it's purely something that's based on my experiences and opinion so it can't be understood by everyone. Personally? I have hooked up with older guys that I have grown up with and it hasn't been overly weird. If any of them were close to be my soul mates I wouldn't have cared about the age difference. It's not like we fancied each other when I was underage. We fancied each other when we were adults. Not going to argue about it though... Sexuality is in the eye of the beholder.
 
Willow. I dont believe that to have a soul mate you have to be emotionally involved. Willow and xander just get eachother and have been through so much. They are the true meaning of soul mates.
 
E
EffyStonem
You took the words right out of my mouth
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