Okay, this is my idea for a relaunch of the the Buffy franchise:
In this new version, instead of a blonde teenager, Buffy is a 45 year old black man with a failing rap career. One day, a toddler crawls up to Buffy and tells him "he's the chosen one, the one girl who can fight the vampires, demons, and forces of darkness." Buffy responds, "I'm actually a dude, but I'm impressed a toddler can speak so well." Anyway, Buffy ignores this kid because who listens to the wisdom of toddlers. An hour later, a bunch of vampires break into Buffy's home. Only in the relaunch, vampires are played by monkeys and they don't drink blood, they just fling poo at you. Buffy is annoyed by all the poo on his shirt, so he decides maybe he'll help the toddler fight vampires after all. There's a brief training montage, and when it's over, Buffy is strong enough to kill a bunch of monkeys. This really angers animal rights activists who vow revenge, perfectly setting up the sequel.
Gold.