I'm technically bisexual, currently in a "homosexual phase", and I think it's awesome. In April it will have been two years since I first started dating guys, and up until then I didn't think I'd ever actually want to give the gay life a shot...kids were something I really wanted to have and up until I turned 20ish there was only one guy who I developed a crush on, and other than that I was interested in and pursued dating girls.
Initially it was a hard transition, when I was little I knew I thought boys could be just as cute as girls but I also grew up being taught that if you were gay it meant Satan had his grip on you. That was probably a small part of why I didn't develop a strong enough desire for men that I had to deal with it until I was an adult. It brought up a lot of fears and issues to work through as well. I slowly came out to my friends in Salt Lake City (I lived and had a group of friends 30 miles south in a town called Orem) but was always worried what my friends would think, and I remained in the closet for a while to the Orem group of friends because it would have more easily gotten back to my family and my biggest fear was telling my mom...she was really the only family member I am very close to, and by this point in life we had both left our religion for a more spiritual path and I knew she would more easily accept it than she would have before, but I was still scared that she wouldn't look at me the same.
During this whole time I was working on my spirituality and trying to find what I consider truth...I was religious when I was religious but then I started to believe that finding your life path and happiness and connecting with whatever God was did not lie with organized religion. After learning some concepts of the Law of Attraction I was able to start being a more positive and loving person, and I learned how to love MYSELF but there was a point where to grow further I had to not be ashamed of myself for any reason. I told my mom (who did admit that if I had come out earlier it would have been more of an issue for her) and she took it so well as to how I thought she might that I was floored. After that I told everyone I knew.
The biggest surprise is that embracing my sexuality has had a remarkable impact on my ENTIRE life. All of my friends still loved me and accepted me, even the ones who think it goes against God's will. In many cases it strengthened my relationships and at least five people totally changed their views on homosexuality because they had known me for long enough to know that I am always striving to be a good and loving person. The more I have learned to be open with people and embrace myself as much as possible (not just the gay thing, but ALL sides of my personality) the more I get positive reactions from people. At work I am friends or on friendly terms with everyone (this is the first job I've been out to my co-workers) and even the Mormons there really like me.
On the extremely rare occasions I encounter homophobia it's very simple to shrug it off because I've been able to get into the mindset that my opinion of me is the only one that matters.
Embracing my homosexual side has had such a positive influence on my life that I no longer even tell people I have attractions towards women unless they specifically ask. I tend to be more comfortable with guys (even though they're usually more emotionally distant than women) because the expectations are different than when you date girls (well, that's a generalization but every single one of the girls I've dated), and with the guys I've dated it's easier to be like their best friend, which is what I would want in a relationship with either sex. So many of my friends are stuck in the mindset that gender roles exist and that a relationship comes with certain obligations. But then again, I have several friends who are in [straight] relationships that have just that so I guess I just never found the right girl. But also, being a "gay" man is very freeing in a lot of ways because being "straight" generally comes with a lot more expectations on how you can behave. I can be as friendly as I want to anyone, express my love for all of my interests more, be more emotionally open with people and be as quirky as I want to be and people don't think twice, because I'm "gay". When I was hiding that part of me and people thought I was straight, a lot of people would think I was weird or thought I had totally different motivations. Now I can tell girls how beautiful and amazing they are without them assuming I am simply trying to get into their pants or wanting something more (even when I *just* am complimenting them because I want to)...
My homosexuality is in no way what defines me but it's a part of me, and I'm extremely thankful for being born the way I was and I'm even more thankful for growing up in a place that would have intolerant of me because when I finally was able to deal with it, I was able to grow exponentially. And if I were totally straight I may not have left my religion when I did, and taking that path has led me closer to "enlightenment" than any religion could. I honestly mean no offense to the religious people here because religion does have a positive impact on millions and millions of people, but most of them use fear and guilt (even if they don't realize it) to get people to change their beliefs. But accepting my homosexuality has taught and proven WITHOUT A DOUBT that the only way to have a happy life is to totally accept yourself (myself), the only way to change your flaws is to accept them as well, and to feel as though you are perfect because you're meant to be the way that you are. I feel like I finally know myself, I'm now easier to change the things about my personality that I want to change, and knowing that your happiness depends solely on how you choose to feel and view yourself. And that is the only way to really feel connected with the universe/God and the rest of the world.
Before growing into the person I am now I used to think I was so different from the people around me that the only way to make and keep friends was to hide the "weirder" parts of me and that leads to a lot of insecurities and making friends with the wrong people. And now that I am comfortable with myself I am able to (mostly, still working on it though...) remove a lot of the filters I had and when people can sense that it makes a world of difference and now I have friends that I consider to be family, and being as happy as I am with it is even a good influence on other people.
"Homophobia" is fought against so hard by so many people but with the way society is, hatred is bred by our beliefs...we're taught that being different is either sinful or dangerous and that you always have to be in protective mode or people will hurt you. People who lash out against homosexuality are simply people with their own fears and insecurities and I really don't think trying to force anyone to change their opinion is helping anyone.
If the LGBT community can ever get to the point where it stops viewing itself as a minority (which it is, but still), and not fear persecution and not only accept but LOVE the fact that they are different I think it would be the most helpful in changing the world's opinion of not only the gay community but every subculture.
Variety and uniqueness in any form is to be appreciated and celebrated because it keeps the world from getting dull and allows you to experience new things and look at things from different points of view.
