Your Sexual Orientation.

You watch Buffy and you are...


  • Total voters
    80
  • Poll closed .
Straight. Still like everyone else I have my celeberity girl crushes like: Sarah Michelle Gellar & Nina Dobrev, Candice Accola.
 
Completely and utterly straight.

Wow, proportionately there is a really high gay/lesbian/bi population on BB! (I just found that interesting)
 
Completely and utterly straight.

Wow, proportionately there is a really high gay/lesbian/bi population on BB! (I just found that interesting)

There is. What I find amazing is how "understanding" (that's really not the right word) we all are. There are open gays and lesbians here, and you know what, I don't care (in a good way!!) 🙂 We're all fans of Buffy, and we're all nice people, and that's what counts. 🙂

I hope Buffy is going well. And maybe soon we're see why we're so "understanding." 🙂
 
Yea, I'm totally for people being who they are. If you're gay, gay it up. If you're bi, be who you are.

Here is a question for all my fellow Buffy friends who are bi: Do you ever find yourself being discriminated against because you're not gay or straight? Like, because you don't identify with either group you don't belong anywhere? Or that people think you just haven't decided your gay yet? Sadly, I have to admit, I thought this for a while, that bisexual people haven't decided they were gay yet. That is, until my boyfriend told me he was bisexual. I'll admit, it was hard to deal with at first. Most of the time if you know a guy that is bisexual people just think he is gay I really just thought he must have been gay, but we talked for hours, for the next few days. Both being extremely open about our sexuality and what it all means and how he feels about it, and how I viewed it and what it meant for our relationship. In the end, we chalked it up to this: I don't know what it is like being attracted to both men and women. I am not weirded out by homosexuality, but it just isn't attractive to me. And he does find both men and women attractive, and he doesn't know what it is like to not be attracted to both. But the fact is, we love each other, we are very attracted to one another and that's all that matters. That conversation happened a little over a year and half ago and we are still together (with plans of getting married~).

Wow. I can't believe I'm being that open on the forum! But honestly, the topic of sexuality needs to be an open and honest discussion. If there is ever going to be equality, we need to be able to talk about it. My boyfriend really helped me open my mind about the idea of being bisexual and that sexuality isn't 2 categories, it's a spectrum and we all can fall anywhere on it, not just exclusively homosexual or heterosexual.
 
R
randiann
Thank you for sharing! I love that you two can be so secure with each other, and wish you both the best.
There is. What I find amazing is how "understanding" (that's really not the right word) we all are. There are open gays and lesbians here, and you know what, I don't care (in a good way!!) 🙂 We're all fans of Buffy, and we're all nice people, and that's what counts. 🙂

I hope Buffy is going well. And maybe soon we're see why we're so "understanding." 🙂

I know you mean this in the most sincere and genuine way, and I don't want to take away from it in the least, but I have to wonder why we should be giving ourselves kudos for treating each other like decent human beings. As if it is some sort of achievement that we haven't turned on each other in the name of religion, culture or orientation.

This peace and kindness and civility is us at our most basic, default level. This isn't an achievement. Just people. Living. There is nothing extraordinary here.

Sorry, I didn't mean to hi-jack this, but I just feel like that when we act like not hating someone is in achievement, we are setting the bar of our own humanity desperately low.
 
WillowForEver
WillowForEver
[No message]
I
InsaneMystic
I really love how we can disagree a bazillion times, and then, BAM, you bring out a post that just makes me go "word!". :D
I know you mean this in the most sincere and genuine way, and I don't want to take away from it in the least, but I have to wonder why we should be giving ourselves kudos for treating each other like decent human beings. As if it is some sort of achievement that we haven't turned on each other in the name of religion, culture or orientation.

This peace and kindness and civility is us at our most basic, default level. This isn't an achievement. Just people. Living. There is nothing extraordinary here.

Sorry, I didn't mean to hi-jack this, but I just feel like that when we act like not hating someone is in achievement, we are setting the bar of our own humanity desperately low.

I agree with you, but the sad fact is in the world we live in today, acceptance like this isn't looked at as a basic level of kindness and civility. And it is awesome that we have it here.
 
Kean
Kean
That is the sad fact of the world but I feel it takes reall effort to hate someone. You really have to try. And even more to sustain that hate.
I know you mean this in the most sincere and genuine way, and I don't want to take away from it in the least, but I have to wonder why we should be giving ourselves kudos for treating each other like decent human beings. As if it is some sort of achievement that we haven't turned on each other in the name of religion, culture or orientation.

This peace and kindness and civility is us at our most basic, default level. This isn't an achievement. Just people. Living. There is nothing extraordinary here.

Sorry, I didn't mean to hi-jack this, but I just feel like that when we act like not hating someone is in achievement, we are setting the bar of our own humanity desperately low.

There is a certain political party in the US (I won't say which one) that has many members who greatly dislike homosexuality. I am political, and I don't like that party. They promote hatred. I'll leave it at that.

So unfortunately, we really should be congratulating ourselves. 🙁
 
Kean
Kean
Like I said to Zo, I think it takes real effort to hate someone or something. I think you really have to try to hate someone. That's what I meant by civility being our most basic level. I think that comes more naturally.
Yea, I'm totally for people being who they are. If you're gay, gay it up. If you're bi, be who you are.

Here is a question for all my fellow Buffy friends who are bi: Do you ever find yourself being discriminated against because you're not gay or straight? Like, because you don't identify with either group you don't belong anywhere? Or that people think you just haven't decided your gay yet? Sadly, I have to admit, I thought this for a while, that bisexual people haven't decided they were gay yet. That is, until my boyfriend told me he was bisexual. I'll admit, it was hard to deal with at first. Most of the time if you know a guy that is bisexual people just think he is gay I really just thought he must have been gay, but we talked for hours, for the next few days. Both being extremely open about our sexuality and what it all means and how he feels about it, and how I viewed it and what it meant for our relationship. In the end, we chalked it up to this: I don't know what it is like being attracted to both men and women. I am not weirded out by homosexuality, but it just isn't attractive to me. And he does find both men and women attractive, and he doesn't know what it is like to not be attracted to both. But the fact is, we love each other, we are very attracted to one another and that's all that matters. That conversation happened a little over a year and half ago and we are still together (with plans of getting married~).

Wow. I can't believe I'm being that open on the forum! But honestly, the topic of sexuality needs to be an open and honest discussion. If there is ever going to be equality, we need to be able to talk about it. My boyfriend really helped me open my mind about the idea of being bisexual and that sexuality isn't 2 categories, it's a spectrum and we all can fall anywhere on it, not just exclusively homosexual or heterosexual.

first of all, thank you for being so open. sounds like you have a great relationship and I'm betting this conversation brought you both closer...

for me, I identify as bisexual not because I'm attracted to both men and women (which I am) but because I know I have the capacity to fall in love with both. for me, it's not just about sex... a straight man could get drunk and have sex with another man and maybe it would feel good...maybe he would orgasm... that does not make him gay...

It's about (I think) really forming intimate and romantic feelings for the person. at least, that's how I see it.

(maybe that was too much information for a discussion board)
 
A
Abby27
I think it's ok!
I'm straight. I am definitely attracted to men. Some might say I am a little to boy crazy at times actually 😉

Having said that I have happily gone female a few times in three way or four way situations that have involved men. Girls are fun, but I definitely prefer penis.
 
I
InsaneMystic
and heres the P word again! you wicked woman! :p
Goby
Goby
Drogyn women rock!!!
It's about (I think) really forming intimate and romantic feelings for the person. at least, that's how I see it.

That's basically what I feel too. For me, it's more about who the person is. My husband is a wonderful person and that's why I love him. Wouldn't make a bit of difference to me what sort of packaging he came in. 🙂 I did vote hetero though. Since I plan on being with him for the rest of my life. Probably should have voted bi.

And to answer [MENTION=10889]Abby27[/MENTION] I actually haven't told anyone that knows me in person that I've ever had a single thought about a woman in a romantic way. Though it's been a big part of me for about ten years now. Because I'm afraid of what they will say. Not my mom, not my dad, not any of my siblings. I wouldn't have told my husband but he figured it out. I've seen my friends go through all the questions and a lot of them have had to handle the ridicule for not being gay or straight. I've seen it quite a lot.

I'm even nervous hitting the reply button to send this here. I was nervous for the first post I did in this thread too. It's crazy!
 
Tome
Tome
Your Spike sig rocks!
Z
zobothehobo
Don't be nervous! we love and accept you!
VisionGirl
VisionGirl
[No message]
Well I think I'd be open to any relationship, hetero, bi, gay, polyamory, asexuality, pansexuality as long as I cared for the person and it was a healthy relationship.

It's ironic though because I don't really see myself settling down with anyone as I find most relationships pretty stifling and tend to place more emphasis on my friends and family than the person I'm dating. In an ideal scenario your SO will support you with this but too often I'm afraid of being held back.

Regarding bisexuality (which is what I chose) I think it's really difficult for bisexuals to openly admit they are bi because people automatically think that makes you "promiscuous" and that you see all humans in a sexual light. People ignore the fact that many bisexuals are very monogamous and form strong emotional attachments. Potential SO even doubt your capacity to be faithful because they fear they have twice the competition as if they were dating a strictly straight person.

I would have no problem dating a bisexual man or woman.
 
A
Abby27
Right! Just because you are bisexual it doesn't necessarily mean you want a bf and gf at the same time (but hey, if everyone is cool with it, why not!) it just means you could be in a sexually relationship with a man the same as a woman.
VisionGirl
VisionGirl
Great post
That's basically what I feel too. For me, it's more about who the person is. My husband is a wonderful person and that's why I love him. Wouldn't make a bit of difference to me what sort of packaging he came in. 🙂 I did vote hetero though. Since I plan on being with him for the rest of my life. Probably should have voted bi.

And to answer [MENTION=10889]Abby27[/MENTION] I actually haven't told anyone that knows me in person that I've ever had a single thought about a woman in a romantic way. Though it's been a big part of me for about ten years now. Because I'm afraid of what they will say. Not my mom, not my dad, not any of my siblings. I wouldn't have told my husband but he figured it out. I've seen my friends go through all the questions and a lot of them have had to handle the ridicule for not being gay or straight. I've seen it quite a lot.

I'm even nervous hitting the reply button to send this here. I was nervous for the first post I did in this thread too. It's crazy!


I'm so happy you pressed reply! <3 When my boyfriend told me, I was taken completely off guard. We have been best friends for 10 years, dated on and off most of that time and since we got back together about a year and half ago, it's been with the mindset that if we are really going to be in this, we are in it for good. And so he knew he had to tell me. And I am so thankful for that. And yes, I have my insecure moments with him, but that's when I ask for reassurance and he gives it to me. And I hope you know that no matter what the world thinks, you have a group here at BB that supports you. And if you ever feel the desire to be open about it offline, don't be afraid. Your family should love you regardless of what turns you on.

And while again, homosexaulity doesn't gross me out or anything, but I can't imagine falling in love with a woman or wanting to be in a relationship with a woman. I like guys, I am attracted to them. So, I don't know if I can say I would only date someone for their personality. I would at least have to say that while I don't really care how they look, it needs to be a guy with a good personality.
 
I'm so happy you pressed reply! <3 When my boyfriend told me, I was taken completely off guard. We have been best friends for 10 years, dated on and off most of that time and since we got back together about a year and half ago, it's been with the mindset that if we are really going to be in this, we are in it for good. And so he knew he had to tell me. And I am so thankful for that. And yes, I have my insecure moments with him, but that's when I ask for reassurance and he gives it to me. And I hope you know that no matter what the world thinks, you have a group here at BB that supports you. And if you ever feel the desire to be open about it offline, don't be afraid. Your family should love you regardless of what turns you on.

And while again, homosexaulity doesn't gross me out or anything, but I can't imagine falling in love with a woman or wanting to be in a relationship with a woman. I like guys, I am attracted to them. So, I don't know if I can say I would only date someone for their personality. I would at least have to say that while I don't really care how they look, it needs to be a guy with a good personality.

My husband has those insecure moments too and he does the same, asking for reassurance. I'm pretty sure he's comfortable with me though. Most of the time.

Mostly though I wanted to say thanks to you and to [MENTION=10363]zobothehobo[/MENTION] for being awesome! 😀
 
Here is a question for all my fellow Buffy friends who are bi: Do you ever find yourself being discriminated against because you're not gay or straight? Like, because you don't identify with either group you don't belong anywhere? Or that people think you just haven't decided your gay yet?

I think talking about sexuality is really helpful and a huge part of bi-phobia is because people don't understand it. A lot of the ignorance doesn't come from a hateful place at all. I think those attitudes are because not a lot of people feel comfortable talking about sexuality and what it means, and that's largely a societal problem rather than an individual one. Speaking honestly, the idea that bisexuality doesn't exist is just bizarre to me. Seriously. We've got this huge world, 7 billion people, and every one of us is only supposed to be attracted to one gender? Now that I can't believe in.

As for me personally, I don't identify as bisexual. That's not what I am. Give me a few years, maybe decades, and I can give you a more concrete answer. I just know that I am attracted to many different kinds of people, and definitely more than one gender. 😉

Abby27 said:
Wow. I can't believe I'm being that open on the forum! But honestly, the topic of sexuality needs to be an open and honest discussion. If there is ever going to be equality, we need to be able to talk about it. My boyfriend really helped me open my mind about the idea of being bisexual and that sexuality isn't 2 categories, it's a spectrum and we all can fall anywhere on it, not just exclusively homosexual or heterosexual.

I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to share that with us! Sounds like you have an awesome relationship! You are so lucky. 🙂
 
There is a certain political party in the US (I won't say which one) that has many members who greatly dislike homosexuality. I am political, and I don't like that party. They promote hatred. I'll leave it at that.

So unfortunately, we really should be congratulating ourselves. 🙁

Oh, it's still out there. Alive and well. I had to watch Buffy in secret when I was 16 and 17 (the lengths I went to to keep it a secret are pretty funny actually, distracting people from the room I was taping it in for an hour till it was done taping than getting up at 5:00 am to watch it on my own time before anyone was awake) mainly because Buffy had gay characters in it and I would've gotten in huge trouble had they known.

I even had to lie to my sister that Willow and Tara were friends just so she wouldn't rat me out.

Now that I'm older and on my own I'm very vocal about my belief in equality and acceptance. I think I've convinced my father (I'll never convince my mom but whatever), sister and some of my coworkers. I'm still the only person I know that supports marriage equality. And in speech class in college I was the only person out of 40 students who clapped for a person who gave a speech about gay tolerance.
 
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Goby
Goby
Great post!
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