I am bi. But I have only been in relationships with girls so people are quick to have given me a gay label, which doesn't bother me (although I'd prefer the term queer ) but I definitely identify as a bisexual. But due to such confusion and misunderstandings of bisexuals - especially in the gay community, people find that hard to get being that I have not acted upon a male relationship so far.
I fought my sexuality for a long time but it wasn't until my uncle came out some years that I would have ever been able to come out being from a small minded/religious family. I didn't even fully realize it myself until last year. While I've always been attracted to girls and guys, I had that common misconception that because I hadn't experienced both, I couldn't "decide" yet. But I have since lost that way of thinking and completely accepted that an attraction is an attraction either way and I'm very much bisexual.
Yea, I'm totally for people being who they are. If you're gay, gay it up. If you're bi, be who you are.
Here is a question for all my fellow Buffy friends who are bi: Do you ever find yourself being discriminated against because you're not gay or straight? Like, because you don't identify with either group you don't belong anywhere? Or that people think you just haven't decided your gay yet?
This is what I was referring to above. As you clearly admitted to yourself (so fantastic that you overcame that way of thinking btw!), and I thought it myself too, this is something that really bothers me. Not so much from straight people because being judged from straight people is I guess more common in most cases but my frustration is more so when it comes from parties of the "gay community" as I consider it yet another form of discrimination when a gay person judges a bi for not "accepting" that they are just really gay when they usually face extreme discrimination themselves. I bring this up because this is something that unfortunately plagues so many bisexual+gay relationships... and actually just reared its head in my current relationship. My girlfriend (who is lesbian) saw a TV show and freaked out because of the image that bisexuals were portrayed (which is completely untrue for myself, a bi who dates both at the same time or always misses the opposite etc) and began to question my need to be with a guy at some point. And the problem is no one can guarantee that they will never be attracted to another person (IMHO you are lying if you say you aren't) but she also can't guarantee to me she's not gonna feel an attraction for another girl... she didn't see the distinction and has brought it up a few times since. One night we got into a discussion and she said that I couldn't know if I was even "truly bi" if I hadn't been with both and what if I need a guy later on etc... And thats the BIGGEST misconception about bisexuals for me. That you are ALWAYS gonna need both or the other at some point. Now I am not speaking for all bi's, only myself, but that is certainly not true for me. If I'd of wanted to act on it by now, I could have. The thing that I wish people could understand about bisexuals is that you are not promiscuous or confused - you are simply allowing yourself the ability for fall in love with the person and quite frankly have more options for all those fishies in the sea
😉 Just sayin! I am attracted to people and I can feel completely happy and satisfied with said person - its not about a need for a body part.
I know I'm rambling, but I found this thread really interesting. To those of you who joke "I'm straight... except for ___" I'd like to point out the kinsey scale. Its actually, in my opinion, a much more interesting way to view/consider human sexuality. I don't think it's been pointed out?
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The Kinsey scale attempts to describe a person's sexual history or episodes of his or her sexual activity at a given time. It uses a scale from 0, meaning exclusively heterosexual, to 6, meaning exclusively homosexual.
0 Exclusively heterosexual
1 Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual
2 Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3 Bisexual.
4 Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5 Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual
6 Exclusively homosexual
X Asexual, Non-Sexual
If you look at this scale and think about where you may fall, its a much more interesting way to view your sexuality vs, "straight / gay / bi". Especially for those that are open minded but don't fully consider themselves bi. If you think you could MAYBE be attracted to that "one special person of the same sex", then maybe you are a 1 or 2. It would take a particular person to open up those feelings, but primarily you will probably never have them surface. Nothing against my totally straightbees or gaybees, just thought I'd point this out for a few of you if you who might have a small inclination to the same sex if you weren't aware of it
🙂
I feel like I'm a 4/5 most days personally. But that doesn't make me any less bi or disregarding my attraction to guys, to me it just means that I am maybe less picky with female than male and have been more attracted to a bigger number of girls in my history... I'll be the first to admit, I'm quite girl crazy. haha.