I was into Buffy and Angel in seasons 1-3, but it ended for me there because I didn't feel there was anywhere for that story to go unless he got his Jekyll & Hyde Angel/Angelus-ness resolved or he Shanshued. I didn't mind when he'd drop in on BTVS after he left bc I felt like they were showing them moving into this new phase of accepting it's over but still caring deeply for each other which I ultimately think is a really lovely and mature place for them to come to rest.
As for Angel leaving so Buffy could have a 'normal life', I agree with others who have said that's up to
Buffy to decide, not Angel, but also... She's the Slayer. She's not gonna have a normal life (she might be able to choose that to a degree after
Chosen, but that's years down the line). There's a reason she only really seems able to open up to vampires more than her own (human) friends and I absolutely second what
@Taake says regarding that and Spike in particular about needing someone who understands, who is her equal.
It's exactly that. One of the most striking things to me that seems to be forgotten about a lot re: S6 Spike/Buffy (sorry I really dislike the portmanteaus for all the ships lol) is that before it went bad, Spike was the only one who allowed her the space to feel how she felt about what was done to her/what she had experienced in the wake of it and he did it automatically from the second she came down those stairs. He instantly understood and didn't barrage her with questions, he asked Dawn for bandages so he could take care of her in a physical way and he let her say whatever she wanted or didn't want to say which was taking care of her in an emotional way. He gave her space and he did it instinctually and he did it over and over again. His saying "you're a creature of the dark like me" while low-key self-serving and misguided (imo it only gets high-key once he starts receiving confirmation from her that it's true), he's not
wrong about that and to a point, he
has a point. I genuinely think even though it's what he wants, he also genuinely believes that Buffy will be better off with him (it's that skewed perspective thing that he can't see is skewed until he has his soul) just as Angel believes she'd be better off without him.
Either way, imo the ultimate point of the Spike/Buffy story in these later seasons is about Buffy learning to reconcile and accept the dark parts of herself and having the kind of power she has (which is demonic in nature). It's the shadow selves thing - her acceptance of Spike and allowing herself to care for (or love) him without punishing herself (or him) is ultimately an acceptance of herself and her
whole self as she is - good parts and bad, light and dark - the show goes out of its way mirroring them both in costume and moments and lines and it's all deliberate (tumblr is overflowing with callouts here going back to S2). There's a reason why she's drawn to him in the seasons where she is actively interrogating what it means to be a Slayer and her acceptance of herself as not Buffy and The Slayer as two separate things that are constantly at (painful) odds with each other (which was another really compelling layer of connection between her and Angel back then), but
Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all that that means and entails. Growing up is realizing that things - the world, ourselves, others - are not black and white but varying shades of gray. Spike is the guy for that part of the journey.
I think Angel was the right person for Buffy in terms of what she needed to learn to grow into the person she's becoming in those early seasons, but he doesn't really know who Buffy is anymore by S6 or 7. She is not the same girl she was back then. She's not a girl at all. I respect and genuinely appreciate the Buffy/Angel storyline and ship for where it sits within the narrative and what it was doing back then, but imo what Buffy/Spike brings up and interrogates is more in line with where the show ends up going by the end. It's really just about preference and what interests us individually. The fact that either of these ships are still being talked about so passionately after almost 25 years says a lot about both of them and how compelling and meaningful they each are. And honestly, the fact that the Buffy/Angel story endures as much as it does even though it did effectively come to an end in S3, says a lot as well.
At the end of the day, I do have sympathy for folks who really love Buffy/Angel in particular and aren't satisfied with what happens between them, but the door wasn't closed which I think is maybe the best thing JW and co. could have done so we could all choose for ourselves what happens or if anything happens at all with
anyone and we can all be right
😉. It's a gift, I think, whether we're Team Buffy/Angel, Team Buffy/Spike, or Team Buffy/Herself.
