I thought that was an excellent video, Wren, and ironically linear: the first scene was of Angel and Buffy and the last scene was with Spike and Buffy (excluding the comic book scan).
I've had my own epiphany on the Bangel vs. Spuffy front.
If none of you mind, I think I'll share it. 🙂
I like to think of myself as an objective fan who bases a great deal of his beliefs on what we are shown. For me, the relationship between Buffy and Angel represents the ultimate incarnation of the "star crossed lovers" theme. I think their feelings for eachother are the purest that Buffy has ever felt; a deep, unconditional love. Angel's repeated sacrifice for Buffy's happiness and well being is also a sign of tremendous love for her; something that Spike only begins to possess in season five of Angel.
For both Buffy and Angel, I think that they will never quite get over one another. I think Joss has made it repeatedly and incontrovertibly clear that they will always care for one another. Is it a friendship? Well, I have to say no. Not really. Spike's assessment of them in "Lover's Walk" was spot on. They aren't really friends. They treat each other like acquaintances -- they care deeply for one another, but realize that any attempt at an active friendship will only lead to them wanting something more.
But should either of them ever need each other, the other will always be there to lend a hand. I think Angel or Buffy would, without hesitation, sacrifice themselves for the other. That's a deep connection that will never, ever fade.
So are they still in love? I think so. I'm sure, each and every day, they think of each other and wish they could have made it work.
This is what initially turned me off to Spuffy work: most of what I read involves treating Angel and Buffy's relationship with him as though it never happened. That's pathetic, in my opinion, and a responsible Spuffy fan should (IMO) acknowledge that Angel will always have a piece of Buffy's heart. And that if Spike ever tosses his name into the fray, Buffy's not going to give him a blank expression like "who the hell is he?"
As far as Spike and Buffy's relationship goes, I think a responsible audience member will have to admit that it started out as utterly and completely self-destructive, without an ounce of happiness, positivity, or progression. It was completely physical, never emotional. But Spike demonstrated that while he will never be as legendary or as feared as Angelus, he is unique in his own way: more evolved, and loved Buffy enough that he fought for his soul, overpowering most of his demonic nature even before he had it!
Their friendship and loyalty to one another became truly profound and touching in season seven. Though Buffy might never admit it, I think Spike ascended to Xander- or Willow-level in her world. She loved him and trusted him explicitly, which is an amusing and great contrast with her ultimate feeling towards Angel: once Angel took over Wolfram & Hart, none of the Scoobies trusted him anymore.
In that regard, I think Spike and Buffy enjoyed a friendship and a connection that Angel and Buffy never did; never could. Spike became the type who would be godfather material, looking out for Buffy and Dawn and the others in his own way, not the distant manner in which Angel did (i.e. having a flunkie keep tabs on her).
Did she love Spike? Yes, I think so. And without reservation. I think she loved him the way she loved Willow, Xander, and Giles.
Do I think Buffy was in love with Spike? No. Going back to a reflection of canon, I see absolutely nothing that would ever convince me that she was in love with Spike.
But the big question is: could Buffy have fallen in love with Spike? And I think yes. Given time, I could see Buffy and Spike becoming more than friends.
So I suppose I see the allure of both Spuffy and Bangel. As far as what we have seen, I think there can be absolutely no question as to which of the vampires held her heart more: Angel. While I agree Buffy could have fallen in love with Spike, it would have taken time.
