Being an adult rocks

[Fusions2]

I love the fact that I don't feel the pressure to move out, be in a relationship and tied down in something I'm not ready for. I'm 24 and I still live at home with my mum but I have a job, I earn good money, I give my mum a good sum of money a month to help out with bills and oddly I still feel independent. I love it when I see how much money I've earned in the month at work, it makes me feel like I actually deserve it and I can put it towards my future... but when I feel ready to go to that next step.

The best thing about being an adult is just being happy with the situation you're in. If you're happy then why feel the need to change it or feel pressured to do what everyone else is doing. In the last 6 years I've travelled to some awesome countries, met some fab people and gained my confidence and independence through travelling. I've done it all off my own back and with my own money.

 

[Skanky Vamp]

Christopher agrees: Therefore they are a bad parent. Wouldn't you want your kids to have a stable upbringing? This is just my opinion and not fact.

No, I agree.. and thats why I said being an adult is not just about doing or being able to do whatever you want.

 

[zobothehobo]

I think my definition of a bad upbringing is different to other people's. I don't think SisterOfMercy's upbringing is 'bad', maybe there were some mistakes made but I wouldn't class it as a poor childhood at all. I shouldn't have included you in that list. Zobo, I do think you have had a pretty bad upbringing- considering some of the things you say happen on Twitter I feel it was (and still is) pretty poor and that it has negatively effected both you and your sister. I'm not trying to insult you because you know I think you're great, more being honest.

EDIT: Mercy, I am concerned I'm coming across as some psycho conservative here. I am a very liberal person and would be a very relaxed parent compared to the majority I know.

I'm not going to sit here and say my upbringing was amazing and that it didn't negatively effect me. But the parts that negatively effectived me we more related to what my parents did instead of giving me stricter rules and enforcing them rather than the fact that they did that. Also that it was like that for so long. If they had let down the rules in my junior and senior years of high school instead of my 7th and 8th grade years...

But something I feel is important is that my parents DID teach me right from wrong.

 

[Seeing Red]

Way to rub it in. *Only two and a half more years untill I can leave. Only two and a half more years untill I can leave.*
I can not do a ot of things (does not mean I don't do them anyway. 😀 )
-No computer/ TV during school days
-No watching TV/ movies online (Like I am going to stop doing that)
-No dating
-No crusing
-No chewing gum (WTF?)
-No texting
-Can't stay up past 9:30 on school nights
-Have to eat EVERYTHING on my plate
-No reading during the school week
-Have to goto church
-Can't double priece my ears
-No tatoos EVER (Sure..... Just wait wait untill I am 18)
-No two piece bathing suits
-Forced to work at a camp during the summer were I get paid 32cents a hour.
-I have a ton more rules but can't remember them right now

I have all of these rules I have to follow. Because of that I live in my room, I only come out if I HAVE to. I live a secert life. My parents don't know the real me, I always ffeel lie I am in chains. I can not wait for college, I will finally be free! To do what ever I want with my body snice i is that, mine. Tatoos, piercings, leather, and a motorcycle (which I am also not allowed to get untill I have my own health insurance.). Also a really hot boyfriend.

 

[randiann]

I think the point Chris was trying to make up there was that kids that come out of truly bad households (read drugs, abuse, absent parents, etc.) are statistically more likely to become drug abusers/homeless/whatever themselves. Violence breeds violence and it is really hard to break out of that cycle. Obviously every person is different, and just because you come from a not so pretty background does not mean in any way you cannot succeed in life. It's just gonna be alot harder.

This type of household is an entirely different animal from the "bohemian" or lax parent household (i just wanted to say bohemian) that some people were describing above.

Myself, I never got the opportunity to be a teenager really. When I was a teen is when my family situation went down the crapper, and I was busy taking care of my sister and myself (and bring a parent to my parents) instead of having fun going out. I had no rules because no one cared to put any restrictions on me and enforce them. And it would have been really easy for me to get wrapped up in the wrong crowd and lert my life go to hell. I worked my booty off to make sure that wouldn't be my life.

And then I got pregnant at 20, so that ended any future partying. Again, it would have been easy for me to push my son off on someone else, and go out and be irresponsible. But I want to give him a better life than I had growing up. Now I'm 25, and probably go out more now than I ever did as a kid (read maybe 4 times a year). Being an adult means being responsible, but that's been my life since about 13 anyway.

Although watching movies while laying naked on the couch eating oreos when the kids are gone: awesome.

 

[arabella]

I enjoyed being a kid. It was nice to be completely taken care of and to have almost zero responsibility. Sure, sometimes it is fun to eat junk food and blow off chores but then I feel sick and eventually have to do the chores anyways. I'd be pretty stoked to be like 8 again. That all said, I do love that being an adult has come with my sweet little 9 month old son and kick ass hubby and they are worth being a grown-up for!
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[This Year's Girl]

Yes. Being an adult rocks. And what rocks the most is the feeling of knowing that I am responsible for what happens to me and what choices I make. That isn't always the case with every adult, but for me, being free from such things as mental health problems and, even though I was brought up very, very poor managed in some ways change my situation, it is.

Being responsible can be a heavy burden sometimes. There are times that I wish that someone would just step in and work things out for me. I think my parent would've liked to been able to do that at times, but since she never had the money or the capacity to do so I had to find a way to get by anyway. I don't like and I don't believe in that everyone can succeed if they just try hard enough, it can be very judgemental on those who doesn't make it even if they have tried, but for ME having to work hard for things has turned out to be something good. And coming home after classes at university today to my cleaned apartment, having food in the fridge to eat and then going out for a run makes me really proud of myself. Don't get me wrong, I like staying in eating ice cream and watching Buffy a whole day too sometimes, but knowing I'm doing something I feel is worth while and is good for me and looking at what I've allready achieved and the fact that I did it on my own - that is what I think rocks the most.

So, in short: YAY ME! Yay adult me and yay all the adult stuff I manage everyday! :heart:

 

[BuffyElevated]

When I was 8 years old, my parents divorced. My mom ran off and for 5 years we had no idea where she was most of the time. At 9, I was given a lot more responsibility than a kid that age should have, and it forced me to grow up a lot. Even though my grandmother was around a lot to help take care of us while my dad worked long hours to support us, I was still expected to be a mother-figure for my little sister. I learned to cook and clean before I was 12 years old.
When I was 13, my mom came back into the picture. Except she was never a mother figure. She wanted to be our friend, to make up for the time she lost with us while she was strung out on drugs and prostituting herself. I thought it was SO cool when I'd go to her house and she'd let us eat all the junk food we wanted, and never set curfews or anything for us.
In my high school years, my dad got really strict. He forced me to go to church all the time, and I was only allowed to go out 1 night a month. I hated his strict rules, and the fact that my mom always said stuff like "Well if you lived with me, I'd let you go; you know that" didn't help my resentment towards him. By the time I turned 17, I was staying with my mom almost all the time. And that was when the drinking and partying began... I stopped going to church and got into alcohol and partying really heavily. My mom encouraged this. She'd buy liquor for me and my friends and say "Well as long as you drink it here and not out somewhere else I don't mind." My dad faught her tooth and nail and I just saw it as him being a psychotic, controlling parent.
Long story short, I ended up getting into some really bad stuff and tried to kill myself. What my mother failed to realize was that I drank to hide my pain; pain that came from being sexually abused as a kid by my half brother while she was off doing whatever she wanted after the divorce, from my body/weight issues and my desire and need to feel loved. Instead of talking to me to find out why I wanted to drink all the time, she just kept enabling it. And then when I got out of control, she refused to take any responsibility, and even blamed my dad for "driving me over the edge". Even after I confronted her with the fact that she was my enabler, she never once apologized, and she didn't change her ways; she did the same thing with my little sister, and she ended up getting pregnant at 15 years old.
Now that I'm an adult, with kids of my own, I have learned a lot from my parents mistakes. I will never be the kind of mom my mother was... I want my kids to be able to come talk to me like a friend, but also have respect for me and my rules. My dad may have been too strict, but he loved my sister and me so much, and he only did the things he did to try to protect us and keep us from the kind of life I was living in my late teens/early 20's. I have nothing but enormous respect for my dad, while I have very little for my mom and hold a lot of resentment toward her.
I think rules and stability are definitely necessary when raising your children. I look at how some kids are these days, with so little respect for authority and rules, because they aren't given enough of it/them, and it pisses me off and makes me worry about the kind of world we're living in. I don't want my kids growing up thinking they can just do whatever the hell they want with no consequences, because at some point that lifestyle will catch up with you, believe it or not.

 

[Joan the Vampire Slayer]

Being an adult can suck sometimes: bills, mortgage payments, work and that kinda shit. There are times however when you can go into a supermarket, buy an Easter Egg & eat the whole thing. It's not Easter yet, I've ruined my lunch but I don't care. You can also just go into a shop and buy alcohol without hanging round the front asking someone to do it for you. You can make an entire bowl of cookie dough and eat as much of it as you want without getting moaned at. You don't even have to have dinner, you can just have cake and Baileys milkshakes if you want.

When my ex used to go out for the night, she'd ask "Will you be ok?" as I stood there with a huge bag of Tesco cheesy puffs, Coca-Cola, sweets, a massive slab of Dairy Milk chocolate, a crate of beer and a new game trying to look like I'm going to miss her. Then she'd say "What will you eat?" and I would glance at the food around me, genuinely thinking that - in some shape or form - most major food groups are represented in at least some way.

Sometimes I look around my flat and I think "My god, this is MY place! I purchased and am paying for this like an adult!" Then I sit in my pants all day watching Buffy and eating only biscuits and cheddar straight from the pack, because I can.

Sundays are the best because we inevitably have a reasonable lunch and then at dinner time we're like "Shall we have a roast?" and we can't be arsed, and about 3 hours later I'm making cheese on toast. For Sunday dinner! My mum would be turning in her grave if only I'd murdered her when I had the chance. What's also ace is being able to slap your mum in the face with the "my house, my rules" line and have her nod knowingly at you like "fair play, fair play".

You know what else is ace about being an adult? Remember at school you'd get told off for something with the immortal phrase "You wouldn't do that in your own home, so don't do it here"?

Well I now do that stuff in my own home JUST BECAUSE I CAN.
Fog up the bathroom window and then draw a massive cock and balls on the glass? CHECK.
Do a skid on my kitchen floor in my socks? CHECK.
Flick peas at my cat? MUTHA****IN' CHECK.






Due to the Easter Egg I do feel sick now though but who's gonna tell me off?

NOBODY! 🙂

I 😎 this post. Seriously.

For me, the best thing about having my own place is how I can walk around my apartment naked whenever I want...and how I can display my Buffy collection without reserve.

YAH!

 

[PrincessBuffy16]

Really. I would much rather be a child again. I don't know why, but I'm craving for my childhood this past couple of years.

 

[Seeing Red]

Really. I would much rather be a child again. I don't know why, but I'm craving for my childhood this past couple of years.

I have been craving my early childhood when my life was not as royally screwed up.

 

[TheFirstSlayer]

At the moment,i wanna be a kid again cuz I'm sick of worrying about rent and bills. But then when i visit home and my parents treat me like a 12 year old and I can't wait to get back to my freedom! So I'm pretty torn really. I guess with the perks of freedom,you have to accept the responsibilities of life!(unfortunately).
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[Tueuse de Vampires]

Honestly, I believe it's how strict my parents were with some stuff back in my teen days that I'm as screwed up as I am now.

Like, I remember when I was in 5th grade, I failed a vocabulary test at school in English, and as a consequence I wasn't allowed to watch TV for half a year. Internet also always got restricted, like there was a time when I was only allowed to go online half an hour a day (I was 15 back then). There were certain foods I wasn't really allowed to eat, like chips, mayonnaise (anything I really eat a lot of now, really), I wasn't allowed to go out, at the end of school I was happy if I was allowed to go somewhere until 11pm. Of course alcohol and smoking were completely forbidden. I wasn't allowed to even get my ears pierced (which I did anyways, behind my parents back), my mom insisted to go shopping for clothes with me and monitor what I buy. (until I was 18!) And of course they would always yell at me for staying up later than 10.


Now that I'm not living with them anymore, I do pretty much everything I was never allowed. I drink way too much, party a lot, stay up all night and eat a lot of junk food. Seriously, if they hadn't put such a heavy ban on everything, I think I'd be a lot more responsible these days.

 

[prophecygrrl]

My parents don't really set strict rules for me and as far as school/life goes I'm really self-motivated. But more and more I realize that's actually more of a huge privilege than an indication of independence, because my parents are the ones responsible for creating a stable, safe, and encouraging environment for me to pursue my goals and stay on the right path in the first place. For a long time, I didn't think of it that way. I thought I was so ready to be an adult, but in actuality? Hell no. The youth is wasted on the young, right? Now that I'm leaving home in the fall, I don't really know what to think. Blah blah adulthood.

 

[Ianigsy]

I can't walk around my flat naked because of people on passing double-decker buses; I'm on the first floor so I have to be careful!

This is something I've struggled with, I think- I've never really (until recently) started to grow out of the student lifestyle and mentality. I'm not careful with money, and much as I'd like to keep my flat nice and tidy, it's too small for all my stuff but too big for me to actually maintain alone. And if I don't watch out, I'm going to find myself halfway through my working life without ever really deciding what I want to do.

But I know from experience too that I can't go back to my folks for more than two or three days at a time- more than that and I start to get frustrated with my mother's nagging (how come she always wants me to sort through some of my old stuff about ten minutes before I need to go for the train?) and their taste in television. When I was still at school I'd spend most of the evening in the back room or my bedroom reading because I couldn't bear to watch the same things as them.

 

[Scarlett Blade]

Although I can't wait to be out of my house, I don't feel resentful at all about the standards my mom has set in place. I can stay up as late as I like (although the internet goes off at 11) as long as I get up in time in the morning. I can eat whatever I want, and dress however I want. She mostly lets me go out with my friends on the weekends; she doesn't let me drink, but she's generally not mad when I tell her I have 😀. She does have a certain moral code set in place; and she used to bring me to church with her, but since I have become older, she lets me choose my own path. I'm very happy with the way I have been brought up, and I hope I can follow her example when I have my own kids. I'm looking forward to when I start college and move out, but for now, I'm happy to have my mom's guidance and knowledge.

 

[Skytteflickan88]

When I read the first post I was thinking "Is this dude ME!? So much in common."

I've been waiting to say "My house, my rules" since the beginning of my teens. And I never deny myself anything. Which is wonderful, but had lead to me gaining a lot of weight and being in debt. But I still love my life.

This summer, I will move home until I find a job, and my dad and mom will make me feel guilty if I buy too much candy or collectibles, which will be a great experience as well. I've been living alone during the semesters (I'm at university) and while greeat, because even though I live in a small one room apartment and are missing my family a lot (they live 5 hours away by car) it's MY place, MY life and dammit, it feels good.

But being at home this summer will rule. Playing with the dogs, eating home cooked meals and being told "go do your homework" will be good for me.

 

[Doppelgang]

I heard somewhere that being an adult is in some ways the most difficult time of life compared to being both a child and elderly, as in both these times of life you have others to be dependent on so there is not the same stresses and responsibilities to deal with.

It is good as an adult though to be able to figure everything out for yourself and to your own liking, and not have to worry about the judgments and criticisms of others as you can form your own standards to live by.

In my experience it really is a critical time making the transition to adulthood, because you have to learn how to balance the pleasures of life and more serious duties for yourself, you can't rely anymore on the framework provided by others. If you get the balance wrong you can end up either taking everything too seriously, or indulging too much in pleasures.

I've learnt so much more about things since I moved into my own place and away from my parents. They do help you in life, they do their best and I'm really thankful for what my parents have done for me, but it does get to the point where they're insulating you from the world rather than preparing you for it, and this is the point where you have to find your own way, and I suppose this is the freedom being an adult brings. I'm still not sure if its an unqualified good thing, but it's certainly an important part of growing up.

 

[BuffyElevated]

In my experience it really is a critical time making the transition to adulthood, because you have to learn how to balance the pleasures of life and more serious duties for yourself, you can't rely anymore on the framework provided by others. If you get the balance wrong you can end up either taking everything too seriously, or indulging too much in pleasures.

I've learnt so much more about things since I moved into my own place and away from my parents. They do help you in life, they do their best and I'm really thankful for what my parents have done for me, but it does get to the point where they're insulating you from the world rather than preparing you for it, and this is the point where you have to find your own way, and I suppose this is the freedom being an adult brings. I'm still not sure if its an unqualified good thing, but it's certainly an important part of growing up.

I agree with what you've said here... And in my opinion, you're not truly an adult until you move out of your parents' house and have to rely solely on yourself for income/necessities/etc. When you do that, it really becomes apparent whether or not your parents did their job preparing you for life as an adult, you know?

 

[Doppelgang]

I agree with what you've said here... And in my opinion, you're not truly an adult until you move out of your parents' house and have to rely solely on yourself for income/necessities/etc. When you do that, it really becomes apparent whether or not your parents did their job preparing you for life as an adult, you know?

Yeh thats right, I think based on that standard I would say my parents did a good job in difficult circumstances. In that they weren't very close to each other anymore but they still tried to raise us up well. They didn't prepare me too well for relationships though, so as much as I am very capable and self-responsible in practical aspects of life, emotions and relationships is an aspect of adulthood that I struggle with I guess. I don't know what my parents could have done differently to change that though.