Better surrogate mother to Dawn? Tara or Buffy?

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Joshua

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Both of these women were surrogate mothers to Dawn before and after Joyce died, but who was the better parent?

Tara
or
Buffy?
 
I think Tara in season 6 and Buffy in season 7.

Tara was there for Dawn in season 6 whilst Buffy had everything else going on. When Tara died, Buffy stepped up to the plate.
 
Tara
IMO I don't see Buffy so much as a mother figure in S7 as I do a best friend. Dawn had grown and matured so much. She actually seems to be older and wiser than a high schooler.
 
Tara also lost her mother and because of that she knew how to relate to Dawn. Once Buffy was past her depression I think she was the better mother because she was the one that dealt with school issues and the bigger picture.
 
I never once considered Tara to be a surrogate parent to Dawn. I dont know how really anyone could see it as such. I mean, was Xander a surrogate father to her?
 
I saw Tara and Willow to be family figures to Dawn in season six, but never as a mother. Buffy will always be her big sister.

Mr. Pole said:
I mean, was Xander a surrogate father to her?
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That thought makes it seem so creepy, considering that Xander and Dawn get together in the comics
 
Mr. Pole said:
I never once considered Tara to be a surrogate parent to Dawn. I dont know how really anyone could see it as such. I mean, was Xander a surrogate father to her?
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I guess that goes to your interpretation of surrogate. S6, her mother and sister were goen and she would need someone to lean on and Tara understood her better than the others. And she looked at Xander as more of a friend and protector not as a father figure. He was her crush. If so that would mean she has daddy issues and that's gross. I don't take her character as being that way. As for S7 I don't think she needed a mother. She was grown up even if her age wasn't. Buffy was her sister and friend. I don't see that she was sully dependent on her as a child would be. Yes Buffy took care of the financial aspect of things but their bond was sisterly not motherly. IMO.
 
Mr. Pole said:
I never once considered Tara to be a surrogate parent to Dawn. I dont know how really anyone could see it as such. I mean, was Xander a surrogate father to her?
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If Xander was her father, and Spike was her brother, does that make Xander Spike's father too? Wacky family fun. lol Maybe Willow was the father and Tara would say, just wait until your Willow gets home!
 
Tara, she was emotionally present and alert to Dawn. Buffy probably shouldn't even have a pet or a house plant.
 
Mr. Pole said:
No, I think it goes to people's really liberal interpretation of parent. Friend is not a parent. Once Joyce died Dawn had no parent, period.
 

Exactly. That hardly screams surrogate mother.
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I guess that comes from a persons own experience. From mine, Tara would have been the one I went to for motherly advice Hence the IMO. Dawn knew Tara understood her more than the others and Tara even told her so when they were sitting on the curb outside the magic box and Dawn knew she lost her mother at a young age also. You connect to people that have had the same experiences and Tara had more than the others. Dawn's clepto seemed to escalate once Tara moved out. IMO.
 
Forever Spuffy said:
You connect to people that have had the same experiences and Tara had more than the others.
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Yes, but that doesn't make her a surrogate mother, it makes her a friend. If Tara was supposed to be a surrogate parent she did a horrible job.
 
Thing is though, Tara was only 20/21. It's a big ask for a 20/21 year old to take on the role of parent to a teenager.
 
Buffy. She was the one living in the house with her, getting a job to put a roof over her head, feeding her, making the rules for her, etc. All while dealing with a lot more than anyone else was. Tara was the cool, supportive aunt that would come over once in a while and be loving and sweet, but she only took care of Dawn solo (WITH the help of Willow and Xander and even Spike, mind you) for a few month, not the three years+ that Buffy did. No, she wasn't perfect, but neither was Joyce, or any mother. Buffy/Dawn's bond will always be stronger than Dawn/Tara's bond imo.
 
Willow in S05 - Buffy was understandably overwhelmed in parenting Dawn. Willow did better with trying to enable Dawn of informing herself of the dangers in resurrections (diminished because she did it secretively), and her "learning math with fun" approach in Tough Love. I'm not a fan of Tara's shut-down and "That's not the point!" politics.

Tara *and* Willow in the summer while Buffy was dead. Frequently overlooked or unappreciated.

Tara in S06. She was at least *there*, occasional. Willow's Wrecked stunt and Buffy's total absence disqualifies both although Willow was at least mostly at home post Wrecked. However, being there and eating ice-cream doesn't make you Mother of the Year. But it's something.

Buffy in the first half of S07, Willow in the second half.

Dawn said something like "She [Willow] is like a mom to me." in S08 (which was a blow to Buffy).

The one who Buffy actually *wanted* to take on a parental role in Dawn's life was Giles. He failed in all aspects.

I think Xander and Anya were never a parental figure to Dawn.
 
Xander was totally a parental figure to Dawn in S7. He and Buffy together played father/mother to Dawn, especially in the beginning of the season.
 
To me, Tara's role in Dawn's life was far more the role a young aunt could have held than the role of a parent. As an aunt (or uncle, obviously), you can give your undivided attention to the matters that concerns your protégée, without the responsibilities of keeping the wheels of everyday life going around. Blood kin or not, I think an older person without children of their own can play a very important role when we are growing up. I know my aunt did for me. (I still miss her, even if years has passed since cancer robbed us of her.)

Looking at it this way, I suppose I might say that Giles was a surrogate uncle to Buffy, rather than a surrogate father.
 
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