When things get tough in my own life, I can honestly say I've never found a better therapy than Buffy. There's something about the show, maybe how much I connect with Buffy (and to a lesser extent Angel) that just...helps when the tough stuff comes around.
I'm really sorry. Going through heartbreak and the ensuing heartache are never, ever fun. You get this gaping hole in your chest that feels like it's never going to go away, and it's all you can think about. It's consuming, messy and brings out just about all the emotions we like to steer clear of. Unfortunately, everyone deals in their own way. There isn't any sure-fire method of making yourself feel better. Generally, I get angry, really angry. I'm talking fire-in-your-soul rage. I know it's not healthy, but for me, focusing anger on something is better than grief.
But anger only goes so far, and it's impossible to keep going. There are always going to be moments when it ebbs away and that empty hole comes back. I hate that. The last couple of years, things have been bad for me. Like, really bad. But like you said, Buffy has always been there, which is a big reason why it's so special to me. Watching Buffy, seeing a character(s) who I just click with so much, is incredibly comforting for me. Here are some of the episodes I always watch when things in real life get crappy:
Welcome to the Hellmouth: Love this episode. Buffy arrives in a new school, doesn't know anyone, has no friends and isn't coming from somewhere good. She's alone with a ton of baggage. But she meets Willow, Xander, Angel and Giles, and the seeds are sown that things will get better. Plus, there's the great feeling of knowing there's 12 more seasons to come.
Hero: This episode reinforces everything good I like to take from the Buffyverse. It's a message that we should never stop fighting, that life can be unfair and it can be mean, but our true strengths are that we have the power to make it better.
Chosen: This one I just fine incredibly inspiring and uplifting. If you're looking for one single episode to pick you up when you fall, this is it. This makes me feel better every time I watch it. We all have battles to fight, but there's always a new horizon.
Not Fade Away: "Let's go to work". Like Hero, this episode has the most powerful message of either series. There's always going to be another battle, another fight, always. But maybe that's the whole point; they're worth fighting. Picking yourself back up is what counts. The world isn't a great place, there is no bigger meaning or destiny, so what we do is all that really matters. The fight is what matters.
But more than any one single episode, Buffy herself is what makes me feel better. To each his own and all that, but for me, Buffy is just perfect. How she struggles, how she tries, how she leads and picks herself up; I couldn't design a better role model if I tried. And for me, when things get rough in the heart department, thinking of Buffy always, always makes me feel better.
I hope this helps, even a little bit. I'm sorry things are going crappy. If you ever want someone to chat with, shoot me a message.
