I also despise how Buffy in Selfless interprets her friends actions in Becoming... Buff, it's not all about you. You weren't the only one who was effected by Angelus. So yeah, maybe your friends are going to 'cheer you on' to kill the man who killed a beloved teacher, a lot of classmates, tortured their father figure etc. And her saying she loved Angel more than anything, honestly, doesn't mean much. She said she loved Joyce more than anything in Intervention. And killing Angel... there was completely no choice, or everyone would be sucked into hell. As I've mentioned and stressed a thousand times, Buffy could've actually picked up a book and gone about it another way. She is 'not the law' that is just her opinion. Saving the world numerous times merits respect, but it doesn't give her the right to decide whether or not someone lives or dies. Stop turning into s3 Faith, really, stop it.
With Spike, her biasm towards him in season seven was completely ridiculous, but hey, I guess that's what Buffy loves. A constant, gutless suck up. I don't think Buffy in season seven at all cared at all about morality, the fact that in Never Leave Me that Spike is chained up in a bedroom, not in a basement, is awful. He gets out and bites Andrew. But hey, he is the comic relief, so who cares? She was so mission centric, that I don't think she actually cares about a human being. She is willing to let Wood die. She wants to lead potentials back in Empty Places. Buffy in s7 gets absolutely no moral high ground whatsoever.
Buffy's actions in Selfless and Sleeper are a complete example of biasm. Do I think Anya deserved to die? No, on the bases that under that under the demon surface, there is a human being underneath. Do I think Spike deserved to die? No, I don't, on the basis that he was triggered.
Also, I know alot of people were turned off by Anya post- Selfless, as she didn't get much of an arc and wasn't really involved within the plot. However, she did contribute and probably interacted with the potentials more than all the other scoobies. As minor as these may sound, she did contribute. She gave theory lessons on how to kill demons and vampires. She did the boring, gritty stuff such as washing potentials clothing, etc. She tends to potentials bruises, talks to them, etc, something I can't recall seeing Buffy, Willow or Xander doing. For a war that needed any possible contribution, the more help, the better. Any help would have been valuable.