Can Someone be too Invested in Fandom?

[Cast No Shadow]

Is there a limit to how obsessed someone can be with a certain series/show/movie?

I love BtVS, I really do, and I consider myself to be a big fan, but is there a point where it can become too much?

I'm not slating anyone here, I love when people are passionate about shows, but are there limits?

Exactly what is, "too obsessed"?

 

[david4wt]

I guess that if you social life start getting cut off, then you have a problem. Fandom should be ONE of your many interests, not your whole life.

 

[ashleigh]

Well you hear all the stories of people becoming obsessed with computer games and dying because they play them for so many days straight with out sleeping etc. To me, that's being 'too obsessed'. However, I can't imagine anybody becoming obsessed with a television program on that level (At least I hope people don't get that obsessed with tv 😱 )

 

[Onyssius]

When you start overly fantasizing about or actually stalking the actors/actresses involved, you are far beyond.

I agree, though, that when it starts interfering with your social interaction, you're skirting the edge of reasonable.

 

[zobothehobo]

This is a subject I think you have to be careful about. Fandom is my whole life. Pretty much. Most of my friends I met online through fandom. And my friends in the physical world are all part of at least some of my fandoms and fandom is what we have most in common. Fandom is what connects me to people, it's how I relate to others. And yes, I tend to limit my social interactions with people who don't share my fandom. But it's mainly because I don't want to talk to people who aren't fandom people. They're not my type of people. And I'm not theirs. I tried when I was younger to be their type of people. I tried to make fandom people not my type. But then I learned to not give a crap and just be me, and fandom is who I am. And it's my favorite thing about me.

That said, I do recognize that, like with anything else, fandom can reach an unhealthy level. However, I don't think that level exists until you cannot separate the fiction from the reality. I don't think it's too much to sit in your room and "pretend" you're talking to a celebrity that you like. I do think it's too much to sit in your room and think you're talking to a celebrity that you like. Also if you start not doing things you need to do. Like if you're so invested in fandom that you literally cannot leave the house, there's something wrong. Of course, those things should, I think, be a given as unhealthy behavior.

---------- Post added at 10:12 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:10 PM ----------

When you start overly fantasizing about or actually stalking the actors/actresses involved, you are far beyond.

I agree, though, that when it starts interfering with your social interaction, you're skirting the edge of reasonable.

Define overly fantasizing? Do you think it's unhealthy for someone to fantasize about meeting and perhaps practice how they would act if they met a celebrity they love? Or do you think it's unhealthy for someone to play pretend that they're friends with a celebrity they love? Like how much fantasizing would you say has to happen before it's "overly"?

 

[brinkster130]

It is possible to become too obsessed and involved in fandom.

When you use it as an excuse to treat others poorly because of different opinions and loose sight of how to respect other people, it's safe to say you need to take a step back and reevaluate your involvement. Fandom should be about enjoying something and sharing that excitement with others, it shouldn't be about being a judgmental prick.

Also if you become so involved that your real life suffers, it's probably unhealthy to remain so involved. This will of course vary for each individual as we all live different lives and value different things.

 

[Cast No Shadow]

It is possible to become too obsessed and involved in fandom.

When you use it as an excuse to treat others poorly because of different opinions and loose sight of how to respect other people, it's safe to say you need to take a step back and reevaluate your involvement. Fandom should be about enjoying something and sharing that excitement with others, it shouldn't be about being a judgmental prick.

Also if you become so involved that your real life suffers, it's probably unhealthy to remain so involved. This will of course vary for each individual as we all live different lives and value different things.

This, 10000 times this.
I've definitely been on the receiving end of people talking down to me because I dislike something to do with their favourite character. People can totally get too caught up in it, to the point where nothing else matters.

I also agree that stalking actors etc, which don't kid yourself, some people do, is completely too much.

I'm not too sure I even am on board with hero worshiping celebrities.

 

[Summerlilly]

Interesting question I don't feel like I've seen here on BB before! I'm probably the most "fandom" type person of all my friends. Actually, I don't think they really know the extent of my love for Buffyverse. 😀

I think it's important for everyone to have a balance. I feel like many people in America are "obsessed" with celebrities, video games, the internet, computers, phones, all things that can reduce real human interaction. I'm guilty in indulging in all those things too but I try to remember to flex other artistic avenues that also stimulate me.

I don't believe there's anything wrong with really getting into something as long as you don't forget the rest of your life. As long as you're relatively happy with your own life! I think it can cross the line when you become isolated. It's definately fun to have people who participate in your fandom too but I like to have all different types of friends. I don't want them to hate my fandom but they don't have to agree! 🙂 That's why BB is fun, because we can all interact with each other and still hold onto our fandom!

 

[Willow My Love]

Yes. When people start thinking that a TV show is more important than actual life, or when they stalk the stars, or threaten (or even attempt) to kill people, yes. Fandom has gone WAY too far.

The fandom surrounding The Vampire Diaries is incredibly intense. Some of those fans are WAY too into the fandom. I think all of us need to remember it's a TV show. It's just meant for entertainment. I think a lot of people forget that.

I think the worst part of fandoms is the ship wars. If it weren't for those, I think a lot of fandoms would be SO much better.

 

[SlayerFest]

It is possible to become too obsessed and involved in fandom.

When you use it as an excuse to treat others poorly because of different opinions and loose sight of how to respect other people, it's safe to say you need to take a step back and reevaluate your involvement. Fandom should be about enjoying something and sharing that excitement with others, it shouldn't be about being a judgmental prick.

Also if you become so involved that your real life suffers, it's probably unhealthy to remain so involved. This will of course vary for each individual as we all live different lives and value different things.

I totally agree. I know some people who are so invested in television shows, movies, etc. that they become defensive and angry when other people don't share their point of view. I don't have one friend who loves Buffy as much as I do, my family finds Buffy pretty stupid haha but they tend to walk by when I'm watching something that is guaranteed to give them a bad first impression, like Inca Mummy Girl. My mom has decided to sit down on the couch and watch Buffy with me, twice, when I was watching that episode. Like why couldn't she have decided to spend some quality time with me when I was watching The Body!? 😉

So yeah, when you start attacking people for not having the same opinion as yourself...that's when things get a bit ridiculous. You could say that about anything in life though. Accept and welcome others opinions because we all perceive things differently. That's why I love BB so much. It's interesting to see people on here say that they hate Restless (my absolute favorite episode) or The Body (*gasp*) but I like to know why they feel that way. Discussing Buffy is fun 😀 but it tends to not be so fun when people are insanely obsessed/over protective of ships, episodes, characters, etc. I love Buffy, with all of my heart...but taking it too seriously is not only stressful on yourself, but also on those who may disagree with your point of view.

---------- Post added at 09:45 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:35 PM ----------

I think the worst part of fandoms is the ship wars. If it weren't for those, I think a lot of fandoms would be SO much better.

haha ugh I meant stressful.

 

[Ripper666]

Pretty much what everybody here said. As soon as your "real life" has to suffer under your obsession, it's too much. That could arise if you spent to much money for a show or treat anybody unfair because of different opinions. If your work/school is less important then it was before the show, something goes wrong. If you prefer watching a show instead of going out with friends something is going wrong.
Don't missunderstand me, I think it's good to have something which is just yours. It helps you coming through your life. But you should remember that BTVS is a fictional, not really happening show which you can't compare with your real life. If you still have a line between your world and BTVS it's ok. If you have to think about a show several times a day it's ok too but you should have place in your head for other things too.

 

[Onyssius]

Define overly fantasizing? Do you think it's unhealthy for someone to fantasize about meeting and perhaps practice how they would act if they met a celebrity they love? Or do you think it's unhealthy for someone to play pretend that they're friends with a celebrity they love? Like how much fantasizing would you say has to happen before it's "overly"?

I don't see a problem with rehearsing a potential celebrity meeting. What I was thinking of (and should have been more clear about) is when people are so deep into a fandom that they cannot separate the person of the actor with the character they portray. They go so far as to judge the actor's real life actions and choices in a way that relates to what the character would have or "should have" done. They will actually accuse the actor (in person!) of things their character did on the show that the fan didn't like and judge them based on that (I have heard some weird con stories from a friend of mine who was one of the leads on a sci-fi show in the late 90's). There are some odd ducks out there in fandom-land!

What I was originally thinking of are the fans who fantasize about their favorite character's actor/actress becoming best friends with them - or worse - falling in love with them. Now, I don't see anything unhealthy about fantasizing about your favorite character falling in love with you, as they are not real. However, when this preoccupation is focused on another actual living human being in the real world, that can be a slippery slope. This type of fantasizing is the precursor for most cases of celebrity stalking.

Please realize that I am seeing things from the talent's point of view. I work in the entertainment industry and I have a lot of actor/actress friends, a handful of whom have been in these awesome genre shows. They do indeed love their fans, but when the boundaries dissolve between the fiction of their character and the reality of who they are in real life, there can be disturbing results.

 

[zobothehobo]

I don't see a problem with rehearsing a potential celebrity meeting. What I was thinking of (and should have been more clear about) is when people are so deep into a fandom that they cannot separate the person of the actor with the character they portray. They go so far as to judge the actor's real life actions and choices in a way that relates to what the character would have or "should have" done. They will actually accuse the actor (in person!) of things their character did on the show that the fan didn't like and judge them based on that (I have heard some weird con stories from a friend of mine who was one of the leads on a sci-fi show in the late 90's). There are some odd ducks out there in fandom-land!

I agree. It annoys me to no end when people cannot separate the character from the person. It's why I hardly go into the James Marsters tumblr tag anymore... because I cannot even stand the people who say "Spike looks weird with brown hair." It's not Spike damnit. It's James. And BOTH of them are natural brunettes. But that's a different rant.

What I was originally thinking of are the fans who fantasize about their favorite character's actor/actress becoming best friends with them - or worse - falling in love with them. Now, I don't see anything unhealthy about fantasizing about your favorite character falling in love with you, as they are not real. However, when this preoccupation is focused on another actual living human being in the real world, that can be a slippery slope. This type of fantasizing is the precursor for most cases of celebrity stalking.

This once again is, I think, something that deals with "separating fiction from reality." I don't think it's too much to sit in your room and pretend you and your celebrity have met and you're good friends... as long as you can acknowledge that that relationship IS completely in your head and there is nothing there. When you start to actually believe that you've developed a relationship with this person you've never spoken to, there's a problem. It goes back to what I said in my OP. I don't think it's too far to pretend you're talking to your favorite celebrity. I do think it's too far to think you're talking to your favorite celebrity.

Often times when dealing with these issues, people say "well how would you feel if it were you" and since you did bring up that you are in the industry, I'd like to comment on that question. I would like to be in the industry, actually, I cannot wait. I plan to be an actress and a writer/showrunner. And one of the things I'm most excited for is my fandom. When I was in high school, I was, for all intensive purposes, famous around the school. I couldn't switch classes without several people I didn't know stopping me to say hello. I would put something on my facebook in first period and by third period, the whole school knew what it was. When I got to college and all of the sudden people didn't know my name or care what I was thinking/feeling about every tiny little thing... It really upset me. I cannot wait to get attention from other people. I want my future fandom to sit in their rooms and pretend they're talking to me/friends with me. I want my future fandom to fantasize about what they'd do if they met me. I want my future fandom to feel like i'm their friend. I want to be very open about who I am so that my fans can see me and better be able to think about this stuff. And it's more than that though... it's more than i want that to happen... It's that I cannot wait until it does. I'm so excited to have that passionate of a fandom. I really cannot wait.

 

[Onyssius]

Very few of the successful people in the industry are in it for the fame.

 

[zobothehobo]

Very few of the successful people in the industry are in it for the fame.

I in no way want anyone to think I'd be in it for the fame. I'd be in it because it's what I'm good at, what I'm passionate at, and the only thing I can see myself doing in the future. But fame is something I love and am very excited for. Just because someone loves fame doesn't mean that they're in it only for the fame. I find myself very offended by your implication of such.

 

[david4wt]

[MENTION=10363]zobothehobo[/MENTION] this is just an observation: I also thought that the centre of your thread was *famefamefame*, so maybe it was just the way you wrote it down that made it a bit misunderstandable 🙂

 

[Ianigsy]

I think it can work both ways- I'd guess that for at least some of the people here, being able to discuss Buffy and other stuff is an opportunity to make contact with people in other parts of the world which would never otherwise happen. Then again, I've been a fan of Doctor Who for some thirty years on and off, but in general I'm cutting back on some of the stuff I've collected over that time because I look at it and think that I'll be 40 in six months' time and I really can't see my 40+ year old self ever wanting to read Doctor Who books or watch episodes that I know I don't like ever again.

That said, my oldest friend in the world is somebody I met at secondary school through our shared fandom and he's far more into it than I'll ever be, to the extent of being friends with some of the writers, but life has a lot of experiences to offer and I'm at the stage now where I don't need a security blanket quite so much.

 

[zobothehobo]

[MENTION=10363]zobothehobo[/MENTION] this is just an observation: I also thought that the centre of your thread was *famefamefame*, so maybe it was just the way you wrote it down that made it a bit misunderstandable 🙂

Well I mean, yes, that post said that I was interested in fame... but it was to counter the former poster's implication that because they are in the industry, they know that no one in the industry likes that attention. I felt the need to qualify that I do want to be in the industry, and I'm excited for my fandom. I still feel offended that the implication was made that because I am excited for fame, that is the only reason I would want to be in the industry, as that is completely untrue. I love attention. I am what you would call a serious attention whore. That does not mean that I'm not good at the things I seek attention for or that I don't have genuine interests beyond attention.

In conclusion, yes, that post focused on my love for attention. But it never once said that's my only reason for wanting to be in the industry. It was focused on my love for attention to prove a point. And the implication that attention is all there is for me is offensive.

 

[david4wt]

[MENTION=10363]zobothehobo[/MENTION] mine was just an observation 🙂 That's why I didn't comment the content of your post at all. It's just what I, and others, understood reading it.

 

[Onyssius]

Well I mean, yes, that post said that I was interested in fame... but it was to counter the former poster's implication that because they are in the industry, they know that no one in the industry likes that attention.

1) "They do indeed love their fans, but when the boundaries dissolve between the fiction of their character and the reality of who they are in real life, there can be disturbing results." - my quote
~does not equal~
"No one in the entertainment industry likes the attention of having a fandom." - not my quote

2) "Often times when dealing with these issues, people say "well how would you feel if it were you" and since you did bring up that you are in the industry, I'd like to comment on that question." - zobothehobo's quote

No one asked that question. Therefore the swan song about loving attention and a future fandom seemed oddly forced and out of place.

3) Might I suggest refraining from inventing implications where there are none? I write what I mean. To clarify, in my experience (especially as I progress in my career), I notice in myself and others that the concerns with fame are less important as people become more accomplished and successful, especially among the truly passionate. You say you are extremely passionate, and I don't disbelieve you. However, you may find that your values change as you grow as a person along the road to success.