Dear Corma:

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Cordelia and Comma's Advice Column
Monday, September 13, 2004

Welcome fellow Buffy-Boarders to the first edition of 'Cordelia and Comma's Advice Column' where Comma and Cordelia will give much needed advice to helpless B-B'ers.

Note : All usernames will be removed to ensure the privacy and in some cases, protection of each board member.

Our first sum of advice will be given to a board member, because this is the first edition of the advice column, so therefore no one could reply (or as Comma calls it, Post it baby!) and ask for advice. So heres the basis for our advice.


Recently, Comma, and Cordelia have noticed that a certain member has been having relationship issues. This member's boyfriend has been seen in forums hanging out with a rather risque member who um "gets around the board". She even read his PMs and saw private messages from her. Then one day we happened to stumble upon them in a chat. And let me just tell you something, 'cause Comma knows a lot, you don't debate that much on Andrew vs. Johnathon to a stranger.
 
Cordelia's advice would be that if you're going to fish in other ponds, make sure you properly clean your fish first (ahem, ahem). Cordelia always says "You're only as fabulous as the people you surround yourself with", Aint that right Comma? Stay with the blue bloods, they'll help you on your rise to BB aristocracy.
 
Cordelia said:
Cordelia's advice would be that if you're going to fish in other ponds, make sure you properly clean your fish first (ahem, ahem). Cordelia always says "You're only as fabulous as the people you surround yourself with", Aint that right Comma? Stay with the blue bloods, they'll help you on your rise to BB aristocracy.

Comma agrees.

You don't need no BB trash. If hes hanging out with a BB hoe then you don't need him. He just ain't good 'nuff for you. I mean who does he think he is. He ain't 'nuffin special at BB, that *@$@$& ain't even got a signature and his avatar is lame. I say dump the loser and get some Comma loving. You gotta start hanging with Comma and Cordelia, they will show you how to be BB cool.


If you want advice, please reply. Comma and Cordelia love to tell other people what to do, think and or post.

And remember, Post it baby!
 
Comma you are so ghetto fab, sometimes Cordelia doesn't know what to do with you. But still, Cordelia thinks Comma gives great advice. Come on BBers, you know you have a question you're dying to ask Comma & Cordelia 😀
 
Hmmmmm. I have a relationship with a guy from the net. We talk for hours and hours and hours and we both want it to be more BUUUUUUUUUUT he like lives in England and we like totally can't meet for like atleast 2 more years so like do I wait for him and ask him to do the same ?????? or like just remain friends and hope that like we'll end up together in the end???? We're both like sooo jealous when each other dates someone else so like I SOOO don't know what to do!
 
Cordelia senses that you're young and that you need to go out and have a little fun. She also thinks that there is no reason to stay in communication with this gentleman. But sweetie, things on the net aren't always what they appear....be careful and stay fabulous...Post it baby!
 
So let's say I have this friend named...Jonathan...Table...and this friend is the administrator of a message board. A Charmed message board, not a Buffy one. And she - I mean he, Jonathan Table, has this co-admin who's always trying to hone in on her - I mean his - good avatar men. What should my friend do?

- from Avatarless on Buffy Boards
 
Dear Comma & Cordelia,

My friend lets call her Rene, she spends a lot of time on the net and met someone called Karla, this Karla lives in New Zealand, and appears to be the evil twin of Rene, she is trying to corrupt her with her swearing and drinking and i'm really worried that she will be led into a life of crime.

An innocent and concerned friend

Buffy - Ok i'm not Comma or Cordelia, but it sounds to me like your friend 'Jonathan' is partly to blame, if they didn't have such good looking avatars their friend wouldn't see these men and like them. She should choose wisely in the future Faith thinks.
 
Dear Comma and Cordelia,

I have a doormat, let's call this doormat Bob. And he feels that everyone he knows just walks all over him. I don't know what to do with him. He's become flat and refuses to wipe the dirt off my feet because of his obsessive problem. What do I do?

- my front door.
 
J
Jacklyn
OMG-I just couldn't stop laughing...doormat Bob! HA!!! *Walks away chuckling*
WHOA...was that, like, making fun of Comma and Codelia's advice Column...!?

teehee...doormat Bob.

Dear Codelia and Comma,
I reeeally like this guy who I go to school with, but he's a Senior and I'm Freshmen. He's really cool, and nice, and funny, and sweet, and * :sigh: * cute. He says hit o me in the halls and talks to me all the time...but...I think he may be too old for me...but I like him soooo much! ...I mean, two years isn't that far apart in age... :hihi: :sigh:

from
Rubber Ladder Foot in Love with Top Rung
 
Faith said:
Dear Comma & Cordelia,

My friend lets call her Rene, she spends a lot of time on the net and met someone called Karla, this Karla lives in New Zealand, and appears to be the evil twin of Rene, she is trying to corrupt her with her swearing and drinking and i'm really worried that she will be led into a life of crime.

An innocent and concerned friend

Rene need not hang with someone who will lead her into such a shameful life. There's nothing fabulous about 10-15. Cordelia thinks that there is nothing wrong with swearing, especially if it gets you what you want, but please don't go overboard with the drinking...no one likes a sloppy drunk and it just ain't pretty 😀

elmo said:
Dear Comma and Cordelia,

I have a doormat, let's call this doormat Bob. And he feels that everyone he knows just walks all over him. I don't know what to do with him. He's become flat and refuses to wipe the dirt off my feet because of his obsessive problem. What do I do?

- my front door.

Cordelia thinks it sounds like Bob is finally taking an um...stand? There is no reason to tolerate people walking all over you and making you feel less fabu than you really are. Cordelia says you might want to watch where you walk from now on, especially if you're wearing expensive shoes.

silvephantom said:
Dear Codelia and Comma,
I reeeally like this guy who I go to school with, but he's a Senior and I'm Freshmen. He's really cool, and nice, and funny, and sweet, and * * cute. He says hit o me in the halls and talks to me all the time...but...I think he may be too old for me...but I like him soooo much! ...I mean, two years isn't that far apart in age...

from
Rubber Ladder Foot in Love with Top Rung

Cordelia says "Go for it!" Age ain't nothing but a number and Cordelia has been known to go for a younger and older men on occassion. If he treats you nice, buys you LOTS of things, then who are you to stay away?


Damn Comma...left poor Cordelia to answer all the questions...
 
Cordelia said:
Cordelia senses that you're young and that you need to go out and have a little fun. She also thinks that there is no reason to stay in communication with this gentleman. But sweetie, things on the net aren't always what they appear....be careful and stay fabulous...Post it baby!


I'm not THHHAAAAT young and like I'm soo sure I love him. We talk forever each da!!! ike 5 hours every day and now I'm supposed to like jusst say SAYONARA? dude no way! :lame:
 
Actually I made a typo...I meant to say There's no reason not to stay in touch with this gentleman What I meant was in normal terms...keep in touch with this guy, but play the field as well. If you're young, there's no reason to tie yourself down at the moment, especially with a guy you can't meet for two years atleast 😀
 
Sorry Comma didn't reply to the much needed advice of the desperate and hopeless Buffy-Boarders seeking help from two such noted experts.

Cordelia has done a great advice and Comma agrees.

Any more inquiries (I'll try to actually get around to these this time!)? 'Cause Comma loves telling people what to do :bounce:
 
I was walking home with my friends. They invited their friend who I can't stand. He pissies me off all the way home so eventually the side of his face makes contact with my P.E. bag (filled with my size 11 shoes). Hes eyes then start watering and he tries to start a fight. Keep in mind we are currently standing in the middle of the road. I tell him to p*ss off and turn round. The bugger then kicks me hard on the side of the chest. I turn round, throw him onto the pavement and give him two kicks to the sides of his chest and two punches. He goes down and we stay still for a while. I decide to try and act mature and extend my hand to help him up. He then takes my hand and dislocates my thumb! I elbow him twice and broke his nose. Now his is trying to say I started the fight and he wants me to apoligise. Naturally I won't but I feel like asking what you think.
 
I have a friend lets call her 'man stealer'.. well she is one of my best friends well was.. kinda. Wel man stealer stole one of my friends boyfriends,she is a bit*h,she always has to be centre of attention,she is fake,she is patronising,she always has to be the loudest,funniest,drunkness basically be better than everyone else. When she stole my friends boyfriend we all fell out with her and we all supressed that we did not like her. we all made back up with her and know one even likes her.. now im beginning to not hang around with her as much because well i dont like her, but all of the rest of my friends still do and im like well aint that just being mean to her you say you dont like her yet you remain her friend. if you dont like someone you just dont hang around with them, what ya think?
 
Dear Cordelia and Comma;

There's this girl, one girl into every gener... Wait, wrong girl. *Eghm* So, this girl, let's call her, um, Joan. Well, Joan recently aquired a roommate. At first things between Joan and her roommate were going along swimmingly. This was mostly because Joan was trying so very hard to ensure that her new roommate, let's call her Chantarelle, was comfortable in her new environment. Joan thinks that perhaps she may have made Chantarelle too comfortable as Chantarelle now thinks that she doesn't really have to help out at all or to consult Joan on anything at all. This is very upsetting to, uh, Joan because Joan always makes a special point of considering Chantarelle's feelings and comfort and for none of this to be reciprocated makes Joan feel rather devalued as a friend and a person in general. So tell me, oh sage ones, what should Joan do?

On a side note, Joan also has this cat, Xander, who can be rather naughty sometimes. He likes to eat the couch you see and Joan doesn't know how to make hime stop doing this. What would you recomend?
 
Dear Comma and Cordelia,

Let's say I have this friend ... hypothetically ... this friend, who has a bad drinking problem. Like really bad. I mean, he's probably not an alcoholic, but he definitely has a problem. So let's say, hypothetically of course, this friend of mine was totally and completely wasted one night and sort of got into a situation with my girlfriend (who was also under the influence), in a not-so-appropriate way. Should I confront them about this, considering that neither one of them remember this? Or should I just chalk it all up to them both being totally drunk?

-Confused in Los Angeles
 
No Angel said:
I was walking home with my friends. They invited their friend who I can't stand. He pissies me off all the way home so eventually the side of his face makes contact with my P.E. bag (filled with my size 11 shoes). Hes eyes then start watering and he tries to start a fight. Keep in mind we are currently standing in the middle of the road. I tell him to p*ss off and turn round. The bugger then kicks me hard on the side of the chest. I turn round, throw him onto the pavement and give him two kicks to the sides of his chest and two punches. He goes down and we stay still for a while. I decide to try and act mature and extend my hand to help him up. He then takes my hand and dislocates my thumb! I elbow him twice and broke his nose. Now his is trying to say I started the fight and he wants me to apoligise. Naturally I won't but I feel like asking what you think.

Hunny you tell him you're sorry that he accidently walked his face into your bag. He needs to apologize for letting things get out of hand...not you.

Dà¡Nió said:
I have a friend lets call her 'man stealer'.. well she is one of my best friends well was.. kinda. Wel man stealer stole one of my friends boyfriends,she is a bit*h,she always has to be centre of attention,she is fake,she is patronising,she always has to be the loudest,funniest,drunkness basically be better than everyone else. When she stole my friends boyfriend we all fell out with her and we all supressed that we did not like her. we all made back up with her and know one even likes her.. now im beginning to not hang around with her as much because well i dont like her, but all of the rest of my friends still do and im like well aint that just being mean to her you say you dont like her yet you remain her friend. if you dont like someone you just dont hang around with them, what ya think?

This is not friendship...what this girl is doing to you and your friends is wrong. I understand why they will tolerate it though as from what I know of you, you're in high school and believe me, Cordelia put up with a lot of that **** too. Unfortunately, you can't force your friends into thinking as maturely as you are about the situation. Hopefully, they'll learn their lesson when the hoe strikes again 😀

Kindred said:
Dear Cordelia and Comma;

There's this girl, one girl into every gener... Wait, wrong girl. *Eghm* So, this girl, let's call her, um, Joan. Well, Joan recently aquired a roommate. At first things between Joan and her roommate were going along swimmingly. This was mostly because Joan was trying so very hard to ensure that her new roommate, let's call her Chantarelle, was comfortable in her new environment. Joan thinks that perhaps she may have made Chantarelle too comfortable as Chantarelle now thinks that she doesn't really have to help out at all or to consult Joan on anything at all. This is very upsetting to, uh, Joan because Joan always makes a special point of considering Chantarelle's feelings and comfort and for none of this to be reciprocated makes Joan feel rather devalued as a friend and a person in general. So tell me, oh sage ones, what should Joan do?

On a side note, Joan also has this cat, Xander, who can be rather naughty sometimes. He likes to eat the couch you see and Joan doesn't know how to make hime stop doing this. What would you recomend?

Joan's situation is similar to that of Bob's as posted above. Joan is being walked all over for being a nice sweet person. Joan needs to put her foot down in a very amicable way since the living situation depends on how this is handled. If Joan were to communicate herself as you did to Cordelia to her roomate, Joan may just find her roommate understanding as the roommate is probably clueless as to her making Joan feel this way.
 
No Angel said:
I was walking home with my friends. They invited their friend who I can't stand. He pisses me off all the way home so eventually the side of his face makes contact with my P.E. bag (filled with my size 11 shoes). He's eyes then start watering and he tries to start a fight. Keep in mind we are currently standing in the middle of the road. I tell him to p*ss off and turn round. The bugger then kicks me hard on the side of the chest. I turn round, throw him onto the pavement and give him two kicks to the sides of his chest and two punches. He goes down and we stay still for a while. I decide to try and act mature and extend my hand to help him up. He then takes my hand and dislocates my thumb! I elbow him twice and broke his nose. Now his is trying to say I started the fight and he wants me to apologize. Naturally I won't but I feel like asking what you think.

No way should you apologize for something you don't believe you did. Whether its right or not, if you don't feel like saying sorry, then you don't have to. There's no law against this, especially if he did start the fight. Although as Cordelia mentioned above, you could apologize for saying sorry about hitting him with the bag, but once he makes that first hit... its self defense.

Dà¡Nió said:
I have a friend lets call her 'man stealer'.. well she is one of my best friends well was.. kind of. Well man stealer stole one of my friends boyfriends, she is a bit*h, she always has to be center of attention, she is fake, she is patronizing, she always has to be the loudest,funniest,drunkness basically be better than everyone else. When she stole my friends boyfriend we all fell out with her and we all suppressed that we did not like her. we all made back up with her and know one even likes her.. now im beginning to not hang around with her as much because well i dont like her, but all of the rest of my friends still do and im like well aint that just being mean to her you say you dont like her yet you remain her friend. if you dont like someone you just dont hang around with them, what ya think?

In the words (or more like word to be exact) of Buffy, "Ho" (Season 2, Episode 22, Becoming Part II). If you don't feel comfortable hanging around someone, or if you simply just don't like their ass, then your not obligated to hang out with them. Especially if they might potentially steal someone your romantically involved with later on. Everyone has a friend who has a friend that they hate. Its the law of Friendship. Really, not lying. I wouldn't ask you to confront this person, because Comma don't like confrontation unless your really pissed or you know you can smack the ***** down. But if this person acts like she did before, your friends will see who she is. You decide who you hang out with and don't be subjected to hours of torture just because you don't want to let them know you don't like her.

Kindred said:
Dear Cordelia and Comma;

There's this girl, one girl into every gener... Wait, wrong girl. *Eghm* So, this girl, let's call her, um, Joan. Well, Joan recently acquired a roommate. At first things between Joan and her roommate were going along swimmingly. This was mostly because Joan was trying so very hard to ensure that her new roommate, let's call her Chantarelle, was comfortable in her new environment. Joan thinks that perhaps she may have made Chantarelle too comfortable as Chantarelle now thinks that she doesn't really have to help out at all or to consult Joan on anything at all. This is very upsetting to, uh, Joan because Joan always makes a special point of considering Chantarelle's feelings and comfort and for none of this to be reciprocated makes Joan feel rather devalued as a friend and a person in general. So tell me, oh sage ones, what should Joan do?

On a side note, Joan also has this cat, Xander, who can be rather naughty sometimes. He likes to eat the couch you see and Joan doesn't know how to make him stop doing this. What would you recommend?

I believe Joan should have a sit down and tell her roommate, lets just call her mushroom because I can't keep typing Chantarelle over and over again without making some sort of spelling error, because otherwise, Joan will be forced with making all the decisions and doing all the work. And Joan doesn't deserve that. 50/50 is how it should work. It would probably be best to present this to her in a positive light, being friendly, but not too friendly. And make sure she helps out after your little talk. Joan doesn't deserve to have someone walk all over her.

Utopia said:
Dear Comma and Cordelia,

Let's say I have this friend ... hypothetically ... this friend, who has a bad drinking problem. Like really bad. I mean, he's probably not an alcoholic, but he definitely has a problem. So let's say, hypothetically of course, this friend of mine was totally and completely wasted one night and sort of got into a situation with my girlfriend (who was also under the influence), in a not-so-appropriate way. Should I confront them about this, considering that neither one of them remember this? Or should I just chalk it all up to them both being totally drunk?

-Confused in Los Angeles

Dear Confused in Los Angeles (Damn now I sound like Ann Landers),

The first thing that came to mind was, A drunk girls words are a sober girls thoughts, but that may not be entirely true. You see this could have been a reflection of what they really felt inside, but its most likely not. They probably, in the passion of drunkenness, got lost in the moment. But this definitely should result in a conference between the three of you (I suggest 2 separate talks, one with your friend and one with your hunny), just to see if there's not any residual feelings. You may experience some anger over this, but that's not uncommon. You have every right to be pissed. But I think once you find the real meaning behind this little tryst, then I think everything will come into play.
 
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