Do You Get on Better With Females/Males?

[Bluebird]

Definitely guys. Every crowd of friends I have, I'm the lone girl. And I love it that way.

I think girls in general are affected a lot by gender stereotypes, so are more concerned with being a 'girl' rather than a person. I joke around a lot, and I've always found it easier to be like that with guys. I always got a better response and I just relate to guys more.

 

[Kean]

Definitely guys. Every crowd of friends I have, I'm the lone girl. And I love it that way.

I think girls in general are affected a lot by gender stereotypes, so are more concerned with being a 'girl' rather than a person. I joke around a lot, and I've always found it easier to be like that with guys. I always got a better response and I just relate to guys more.

Agreed. While I often miss being part of a big group of girls, I find that when I am there is the crazy competition to "out girl" each other. I'll pass.

 

[This Year's Girl]

I actually talked about this with a friend just today. 🙂 When I was a kid I had a lot of male friends, but when I got about 13 and the whole heteronormative attraction thing started to be at the center of things my relationship with guys got complicated. I've really rarely wanted to have a romantic relationship with a man (kind of ironic I ended up marrying one. Didn't see that one coming 😀), but it seem to be expected that I would want to when I would just talk to guys and that made me uncomfortable. I still don't really know how to approach men even now when it's very clear I don't have any romantic interest in them since I am married. I know it shouldn't be that way and that we are all human, but I can't help it.

It's not a matter of me thinking every guy wants me or something and like 75% of my female friends are gay/bi too, so it's not even the attractions thing either really, it's just... I don't know. I get uneasy around guys a lot of the time. I'm not hostile, but I just get on way better with girls. Maybe I've just had bad luck with the male people I met though. I mean, like on here and especially in VH, I like all our guys SO much and I think I would be friends with everyone of them if I met them in person. [MENTION=8013]Washburne[/MENTION], [MENTION=8401]david4wt[/MENTION], [MENTION=11396]WileyDairyGnome[/MENTION], [MENTION=8127]Mozzymandias[/MENTION], [MENTION=9740]Tome[/MENTION], [MENTION=11314]937[/MENTION], @NY State of Mind, and so on, all such sweethearts! :heart: (Aaaand I :heart: you too [MENTION=7924]InsaneMystic[/MENTION] of course, but to me you're deffo not a male even if others might see you as one sometimes :heart🙂

I personally don't think any gender is more likely to be more bitchy than the other. I've come across just as many males as females who are catty and create drama.

I agree with this. I think there's a common stereotype that women are bitchy and don't get a long which I really think is to bad. I know a lot of men that are straight up bitcas too, but it seems that this doesn't get "gendered" the way it does when a female displays that kind of behavoir. 🙁 I get so sad that there is a stereotype that women can't stick together and support each other, 'cause I think that makes less women want to go all in for female friendship, and in this patriarchal world we would benifit so much from that.

 

[Bluebird]

This Year's Girl disagrees: I don't think this is true at all. Most girls just want to be persons too, but as we live in a patriarchal society, it can be a lot harder for us to be noticed as persons and not our gender

It's happened to me a lot. I've known as many girls as I have guys, and there's more pressure on girls to act a certain way - to be seen as attractive and so on. I'm not saying that girls want it this way, but a lot of them do stick to what they think they should be doing and saying, in relation to their gender, rather than just being themselves.

 

[Selfless705]

I get on with girls more easily, I have way more female friends than male ones... but tbh most of the males at my school are douchebags/druggies so they arent my type :L

But in my close circle of irl friends I have 2 great guy friends and 2 great girl friends, which I trust with everything so I guess its equal in that sense... but in just friends, who i can have casual chats, study with, and fanboy over stuff with it has to be girls 🙂

 

[Kean]

I agree with this. I think there's a common stereotype that women are bitchy and don't get a long which I really think is to bad. I know a lot of men that are straight up bitcas too, but it seems that this doesn't get "gendered" the way it does when a female displays that kind of behavoir. 🙁 I get so sad that there is a stereotype that women can't stick together and support each other, 'cause I think that makes less women want to go all in for female friendship, and in this patriarchal world we would benifit so much from that.

I understand where you are coming from, I really do, I even respect it to a certain extent, but I can't help but feel that this is falling into a whole other stereotype of "girls sticking together" and all that. For me, that is a very gendered way of approaching friendship, or relationships in general.

When I say most of my friends are male I don't say it implying that I sought out male companionship because "women are bitches". The biggest, snarkiest gossips I know are male. What I am saying is that the people I have formed the strongest connections with, the friends that have meant the most to me are predominantly male. That is just how it fell for me. It wasn't a conscious decision.

I still stand by what I said about my experience of being part of a group of girls and everyone trying to "one up" each other. I didn't mean it to sound like it was true of all groups of girls, but is has been my experience in RL. I can only speak about what I know. What I have also experienced is that online, I have a fantastic group of friends who are all women and I cherish that group dearly, because they offer me an outlet I simply do not get with my male friends.

Also, I'd like to point out that men a very much gendered too, and they face equal pressure to live up to the testosterone fuelled, ladish stereotype society has created for them too.

My point is, gender shouldn't be an issue one way or another. Your friends are your friends.

 

[This Year's Girl]

I understand where you are coming from, I really do, I even respect it to a certain extent, but I can't help but feel that this is falling into a whole other stereotype of "girls sticking together" and all that. For me, that is a very gendered way of approaching friendship, or relationships in general.

I agree with you that friendship shouldn't be based on gender, but when society favours men in a lot of areas I think it's super, super important with sisterhood. I doesn't mean that you have to be friends with all girls, sometimes the most respectful thing to do is to dislike someone and not take some kind of pity on them and be friends with them just because they are a certain gender. Nor is it about that all women are the same and have the same goal. To me it is a matter of having each others back when it counts. Like defending girls when they are slut shamed to take one example.

I get sad when people (not talking about you or anyone in this thread now, just in general) talk about things like that guys are more straight forward and that there is a lot of bitchiness with girls because I feel that it feeds the stereotype that girls can't get along and keep women apart and make the room for change smaller. I do want more friendship between girls, I feel it is (one of many) a great feminist strategist move (that doesn't mean that men can't be feminists or that men aren't confined by stereotypes to though). Gender shouldn't matter, but today it does. May sound contradicitive, but I think friendship and formation of women can be a way of achieving that it shouldn't matter.

I don't have the time to go in to this subject any deeper than this right now, but if you want to continue talking about this later you can send me a PM. 🙂

 

[Cast No Shadow]

Just regarding the bitchiness thing, I can count the guys I've fallen out with due to bitchiness on one hand...
Definitely couldn't do the same with girls.

---------- Post added at 10:15 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:00 PM ----------

This Year's Girl agrees: That doesn't really say anything about how men and women are in general though

Unless you know each person individually, you can only generalise based upon what you've experienced.

 

[Bexieh]

From my experience, I know some pretty bitchy blokes as well as some pretty bitchy girls. They probably even each other out numbers-wise to be honest. And out of my closest friends, the one who gossips and whatnot about other people the most, typically a trait assigned to girls, is a boy!