Do you like likes?

[Bop]

I like likes on here because at the end of the day we don’t know each other so it’s really just about our opinions and what we’ve posted. For things like Instagram and Facebook I don’t like likes because it’s just judging someone for a picture they’ve posted which says nothing about them. I guess what I’m saying is that likes are used for judgement but it’s okay to judge someone’s opinion (like on here) but it’s not cool to judge someone as a person (Facebook).

 

[r2dh2]

Yeah if I go by the currently recorded rep points, I am only liked about half the time 😛 Where as our little pumpkin belly of 2019 has been here a very short while and laps up the love.

For me, I don't feel so intimidated posting on BB because of the rules and moderation, but I was interested to know from a newbies perspective as many of us here don't use other forms of social media as intensively as we use this one. Its comfortable to know opinions are welcome even if not "liked". The more you post, the ore you are known, which spans most interactive sites. It takes time to form bonds in any new relationship, and to access the tone of community.

I'd hope people are not intimidated to post from their lurking, but I can understand why.

People are intimidated. New people have missed previous interactions. People who have been in the BB for a long time have reached a stable equilibrium, they know how others "think" overall, what they "like", what makes them "tick." So you have a new person making an "unpopular" or half-thought comment, and there can be a lot of negative responses coming from several people. I mean, it's natural, but intimidating nonetheless.

And @thrasherpix made another good point. People also like to be included, so when making a point and being ignored, you might feel that you're saying something dumb and you better stay away from that. It's human nature. You need to slowly build up resilience and stand your ground, and learn to concede if you feel that the others have a better point.

I think that are some people very open to newbies, like you, but others are more likely to ignore them/us. But that's fine. It's a learning process.

 

[nightshade]

I'm terrible for not knowing who is new, if you post frequently I think you've been here forever! I thought you had been here months and not 12 days!

 

[Giovanna]

I like to be liked, does that count? 😉

 

[Anyanka Bunny Slayer]

People who have been in the BB for a long time have reached a stable equilibrium, they know how others "think" overall, what they "like", what makes them "tick."

Oh, my love! There's no "stable equilibrium" here. 😂 We're all insane. You didn't notice? Our posts are hit and miss most of the time. None of us actually KNOW how our opinions will be received most of the time. We just post something and move on, usually. Yes, eventually you might develop a feeling about how others might react, but there's never any guarantee that you're correct. It's a crap shoot, like sending a messge in a bottle. Or throwing a water balloon into a crowd. 🐶

Whether you've been here for ten years or ten minutes, you learn something new each day. Unlike many other sites, board seniority means nothing here. And while there are occasional disagreements, (and plenty of playful jabs at each other) this board is moderated well; so you won't find flaming wars, rampant bullying, and other nonsense like that here. That crap is nipped in the bud, believe me.

People also like to be included, so when making a point and being ignored, you might feel that you're saying something dumb and you better stay away from that. It's human nature.

When a member first joins BB, they're given always given a warm welcome; if you're a Buffyverse fan you're automatically part of the family! But after that, it's up to you to interact with others. And everyone here has had the experience of posting something which no one responds to. It happens, and you shouldn't take it personally. Yes, it sucks to post something and no one replies to it. But it happens to all of us. We just scamper over to another thread and see what's happening there.

So you have a new person making an "unpopular" or half-thought comment, and there can be a lot of negative responses coming from several people. I mean, it's natural, but intimidating nonetheless.

You know what you do? Read through those responses again and try to understand what they really mean, ignoring the perceived negativity. Fandoms frequently disagree, and can be quite passionate about many topics. Don't take it personally, just sally forth and continue to express your opinions. We've all been there...eventually you'll feel more comfortable, whether or not someone agrees or disagrees with something you say. And I can't stress this enough: keep posting and get to know everyone...that's when the fun begins. 😊

 

[Skanky Vamp]

We're all insane. You didn't notice?

Of course they didn't notice. They are brand new and no one talks to them because they are brand new.

board seniority means nothing here.

Says you!

 

[Anyanka Bunny Slayer]

Of course they didn't notice. They are brand new and no one talks to them because they are brand new.

That's not true. It's always fun having new people here. Don't be such a butthole. It's not THEiR fault that you ran out of Viagra.😛

 

[Stephan]

@Spanky @Anyanka Bunny Slayer hahaha, but come on, stop the sarcasm.

We know that people who "know" each other are more likely to interact. And some people are just naturally shy, but they still like their Buffy. What @r2dh2 is saying is that some people feel left out. And ya know what? That's fine for some of us, we'll dive right in. Others just don't know how to jump into it. As she said, it's a learning process and it's fine. I'm more of the type: I'm fine one way or another, I'll just tell you what I think. But people have different personalities, you two are a perfect example of very secure, sarcastic and extroverted people, that's great.

 

[r2dh2]

@Spanky @Anyanka Bunny Slayer @Stephan if you keep it up, I'm gonna start crying and I'll never ever make another post again. Well, nah, I'll still post whatever I want (within the lines of civility).

I'm just thinking about a more general setting. Not everyone understands tongue-in-cheek comments and I can see that for some people engaging in a "discussion" might be intimidating. Specially when you have 3 or 4 people coming after you because it's a topic that they have discussed extensively before you joined.

I personally can enjoy discussing controversial topics as long as the comments made are well founded and we remain respectful (but I've seen that some people cannot do that and just lose it, specially when they get a sarcastic remark as a response). In my case, bring it on 😉, that's why I signed up 😉. I don't like boring.

 

[Skanky Vamp]

I'll still post whatever I want (within the lines of civility).

Well that's hardly fun now is it? Civility is boring. Unless there is like some Civility War and all the mods are taking sides and Taake turns into a giant and starts flinging around aeroplanes.

 

[r2dh2]

Well that's hardly fun now is it? Civility is boring. Unless there is like some Civility War and all the mods are taking sides and Taake turns into a giant and starts flinging around aeroplanes.

hahaha... unfortunately I do see the upside of civility. Unless, you wanna take this outside? Gloves off in reddit 😉??

 

[Anyanka Bunny Slayer]

I personally can enjoy discussing controversial topics as long as the comments made are well founded and we remain respectful (but I've seen that some people cannot do that and just lose it, specially when they get a sarcastic remark as a response)

Yeah, I have a tendency to sometimes fly off the handle if I feel that someone is targeting me for no good reason. Call it a character flaw. 😅 But hey, I'm a sensitive girl! * bats eyelashes *

 

[r2dh2]

Yeah, I have a tendency to sometimes fly off the handle if I feel that someone is targeting me for no good reason. Call it a character flaw. 😅 But hey, I'm a sensitive girl! * bats eyelashes *

Haha. In all honesty, I wasn't thinking about you when I made the comment. I think that you and Spanky are both very sarcastic and the interaction between you two is one of the highlights of BB, you're totally in sync. At least, I have a lot of fun.

 

[Ethan Reigns]

One of the things that is shown up via likes is that the new members seem to be thorough about going through entire threads rather than just tacking an opinion on. How do I know this? I got a "like" within the last few days for something I wrote in 2017. I often get new likes for old posts, so the newbies are doing their homework and reading entire threads.

I usually welcome new members by saying that as opposed to a lot of fan forums, this place has civility in its favour even if the Bangel vs. Spuffy shipper wars are never far from the surface. I have seen forums destroyed by acrimony but most fail due to lack of responses. There was one (now defunct) forum where there were only about six of us posting regularly. In contrast, we are growing, which means a show from 20 years ago is gaining recognition and popularity. I have been on another where there was a total of 104 posts in six months. The owner wisely took it down rather than show how uninterested people were.

 

[Bluebird]

@Annie Hall You cannot stand alone. Wanting to belong is very human. So if you find a group of people who are open and receptive to your thoughts in a respectful way, then yeah, you're more likely to interact with them.

Sorry, I tried to figure out what this meant in relation to my post!

I wouldn't say the BB was a place that accepted bullying, as it's been accused of lately. There's other forums I've joined in the past where your existence would never be acknowledged, pitchforks were raised for outsiders etc.

I think it's all too easy to judge someone's intent on your perceptions, especially when it comes to online interactions. As an example, I'm extremely dry and monotone, fairly anti-social, but not unfriendly. So if someone has a preconceived notion in their mind about a community then I'd stand out as an arrogant keeper of the flame or some shit. I dunno. I'm me and you're you. Do you.

I don't wanna get to the point where I feel like I'm censoring myself or not talking to certain people I have things in common with because other people may perceive it as toxic behavior. That's idiotic.

@Anyanka Bunny Slayer said it best above.
I was a shy kid and being on the sidelines complaining that the other kids weren't talking to me only helped fuel the inner paranoia. I grew out of that and realised no one actually cares or judges as much as you think they would. And even if they do judge you, who cares? That's their problem.

Also, report posts and people who are bullying, cos the mods do a great job here and it's not fair to accuse them of not.

 

[Annie Hall]

Sorry, I tried to figure out what this meant in relation to my post!

I wouldn't say the BB was a place that accepted bullying, as it's been accused of lately. There's other forums I've joined in the past where your existence would never be acknowledged, pitchforks were raised for outsiders etc.

I think it's all too easy to judge someone's intent on your perceptions, especially when it comes to online interactions. As an example, I'm extremely dry and monotone, fairly anti-social, but not unfriendly. So if someone has a preconceived notion in their mind about a community then I'd stand out as an arrogant keeper of the flame or some shit. I dunno. I'm me and you're you. Do you.

I don't wanna get to the point where I feel like I'm censoring myself or not talking to certain people I have things in common with because other people may perceive it as toxic behavior. That's idiotic.

@Anyanka Bunny Slayer said it best above.
I was a shy kid and being on the sidelines complaining that the other kids weren't talking to me only helped fuel the inner paranoia. I grew out of that and realised no one actually cares or judges as much as you think they would. And even if they do judge you, who cares? That's their problem.

Also, report posts and people who are bullying, cos the mods do a great job here and it's not fair to accuse them of not.

Sorry for the misunderstanding. I didn’t explain myself well.

I just meant to say that being part of a community is important. How long does it take for a community to form? It varies (weeks, months, or years, you said it better). But, again as you said, members of those “groups” find each other at some point through constant interaction (example, more postings). And these new members “suddenly” feel more receptive and open to comments coming from other fellow members. So, definitely forming a “clique” doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with seniority per se, it has more to do with similarity of interests and opinions, combined with the right timing.

But, I still believe that it’s true that, among the people who have been interacting with each other for many years, there's a tendency of exhibiting certain bias in favor of their mates – whether that bias is conscious or not, it’s a different question.

Does it make sense? It's quiet late and I'm falling asleep but I wanted to answer you question. But I think that my second paragraph is pure non-sense rambling. I'll try again tomorrow 😀

 

[Bluebird]

Sorry for the misunderstanding. I didn’t explain myself well.

I just meant to say that being part of a community is important. How long does it take for a community to form? It varies (weeks, months, or years, you said it better). But, again as you said, members of those “groups” find each other at some point through constant interaction (example, more postings). And these new members “suddenly” feel more receptive and open to comments coming from other fellow members. So, definitely forming a “clique” doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with seniority per se, it has more to do with similarity of interests and opinions, combined with the right timing.

But, I still believe that it’s true that, among the people who have been interacting with each other for many years, there's a tendency of exhibiting certain bias in favor of their mates – whether that bias is conscious or not, it’s a different question.

Does it make sense? It's quiet late and I'm falling asleep but I wanted to answer you question. But I think that my second paragraph is pure non-sense rambling. I'll try again tomorrow 😀

I seeeee yes, I agree, thanks for clearing it up. Sorry, I wasn't trying to be rude, I genuinely didn't know what you meant because my post was personal to me and I couldn't make the connection. I was like 'no, you're wrong, I like being alone!' but obviously you meant in general human nature terms lol. I don't claim to be smart. 😉

 

[The Bronze]

I got a "like" within the last few days for something I wrote in 2017. I often get new likes for old posts, so the newbies are doing their homework and reading entire threads.

I love it when that happens. You just sit there and bask in the knowledge that your wisdom stands the test of time 😁.

Maybe we should reintroduce the scooby spotlight as it appears some new members are feeling a bit awkward.

 

[nightshade]

Maybe we should reintroduce the scooby spotlight as it appears some new members are feeling a bit awkward.

New Weekly Feature: Getting to Know You (Scooby Spotlight)
Thread is still here if anyone wants to do it

 

[Taake]

People are intimidated. New people have missed previous interactions.

This reminds me of when I first joined, I made some minor mistake and got a PM from a mod at the time (Flannen) and was so intimidated I don't think I posted for a month after that, just lurked. Lol. So it's a good reminder for us seniors that we were once fresh blood too. 🙂

I love it when that happens. You just sit there and bask in the knowledge that your wisdom stands the test of time 😁.

Whenever I get a like on a really old post, sometimes 8-9 years back, I always get a bit of a "oh god, oh god, what did my big mouth say? Will I have to eat my words?" moment of distress, haha.