does age matter?

Originally posted by Jacklyn
No, you can't. And thanks go to Lazy Dolphin for stealing the words right out of my mouth.

My choice was not stupid. It was a well-informed choice and one that I did not take lightly.

I knew my husband for 5 years before I married him. I had no delusions about who he was or about who I am. I loved him. I still do. Maybe, in a few years, we'll change-things will be different and we will grow apart. Maybe not. That same possibility occurs in every marriage-whether they begin at 18 or 35. You are never grown up in the most popular sense of the word. You are always growing and changing, and if you're not, you are dead. I've seen a 25 year marriage end because the people realized they'd grown apart.
The point is, I'm happy now and I have no clue if that will ever change. Was I meant to pass up love with an amazing man to go sow my oats? What if he wasn't there when I got back finding I still wanted him? Would I just sit there and pine away forever wondering what if?

Maybe I would have found someone else. I don't know. But as of yet I am extremely happy with my decision. I haven't had the happiest life and these two years have changed me into a calmer less tumultuous person than I once was. I am better for them. If, heaven forbid, that all ended today, I'd still be better for them.

How can that be "stupid"?
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Ok, I've come up with a beter explanation to support my feelings. I can't help it, but I first have an opinion and then I find out the reasons why I feel that way.

A lot of people at the age of 13 are young and influencable, and they might look like their strong and independant, when they might not be so. By having dated him only, you have never really been able to see what dating other people is like, and thus you might be under the impression that you're off right, when in fact you might not be. I can't really blame you. He's too blame, because I think it's unethical to take away the freedom of such a young girl, without giving her a real possibility to expierence other things (or ppl).

And let me tell you, that I too feel very passionate about this subject. Bout a year ago, I was in love with this girl, and she with me, but I was 17 and she only 13. And I though it wouldn't be fair if I dated her, so I had to let her go, though she really was the sweetest. And at that moment one of my best friends (also 17) did start to date her best friend (also 13). So that made it all feel extra sour. (To complete the story, they broke up after two months and he started dating her 16yo sister, an at that point newly reformed lesbian, they're still together.)

So anyway, I think you should give young people a chance to develop themselves. And I think that marrying brings a lot of restrictions, which I think shouldn't be bared by young ppl.
 
Girls have a more mature mental age than lads and lads have a slightly less mature mantal age. What I mean is, a girl of 13 may act older, like 16 or 17 and a lad of 17 may act like he's 13 or 14. That's why usually girls date lads that are older than them.

I've never been in love so I don't know first hand, but I've been told that when you're in love you just know. I think if you fall in love at a young age your not missing out on anything, your just experiencing things at a younger age. And if it had happened to me at a young age I would have gone for it

I don't think age matters. I've just started dating this lad who is 7 years older than me. The only thing that worried me was what my dad would think, but he was fine with it. And even though there's a 7 year gap we still have lots in common.
 
Jules, I fully agree with your statements 🙂

Allycat: Well, you have only managed to prove how these things depend on the situation. For one thing, I DID date before my husband-not very seriously, but he was not the first guy I dated.

Also, I laughed that you blamed him, because he was trying to be like you. Run away from this sitch before it gets worse! I wore him down for months. I am a person who knows what I want. I knew that he wanted the relationship too and I knew I could get us there. I was right. I've never felt wrong about my situation, even for a minute.

Maybe, I was not your average 13 year old girl. Maybe I was just more mature than you're average bear 😉 The world will never know. I will never know. All I know is what I have experienced. But that's proof enough to me, that broad generalizations never really work.
 
Ok, Allycat, I can see your point and I think it's a good one...for SOME people it is very true. That really doesn't apply in every case. I have known young people in both cases. Sometimes, it works out great.

I had this debate with an EX friend who downed my life saying I picked the first thing that came my way and ruined my life. I'll tell you, that bitch was jealous. No doubt. I hadn't done much "serious" dating and I had only slept with one other person before my husband. I wasn't one of those people that needed to date or sleep with multiple people to know a good thing when I found it. (In fact I had 4 other prospects at the time and others before we married) I knew people and I knew my type when he came into my life. I got married at 19 and we have been together for 6 years and are still going strong. We have had two beautiful kids and yes we have our spats but they only make us stronger. We were never stuck or trapped and we got married before concieving either child. We faced so many challenges that most married couples don't see in their whole relationship. Sometimes it's just right.

Like Jacklyn said which I totally agree with, people are always changing. Some people can get married after 8 years together and only last 1 week and others can meet and marry after 1 week and last a lifetime...wether you're looking at age or expierience or time it's always going to depend on the person and the case. I don't believe you can set something like love to a sertain criteria. When it comes down to it YOU have to decide what is best in your heart and your gut. If EJ and I broke up tomarrow I would never regret the time I spent with him. And not just for my kids. If you were contantly waiting to be ready, constantly waiting for the "right age" or whatever else is deemed right by societys standards then you would be waiting forever. Sometimes you just have to go WITH your blood and AGAINST the grain. I'm happy and I hope that I am still in contact with you all in another 5 years so you can wish me a happy 10 year anniversary! LOL! 😀
 
Jacklyn, Rayne, I admit, it doesnt work like that all the time. Most of the time you can apply it and I hope for you, Jacklyn that it works out fine. One more thing though: I also know lots and I mean lots of girls, that try to get themselves into relationships all that because without it they feel insecure, they try to depend on their guys. I'm not saying it has to be you, but in your case that might have applied. You said it felt right, but for lots of girls, just think it feels right, cause they feel saver. Which doesnt mean its right.
 
watcher wes: i think you should keep all windows and door shute and hide 😉 LOL(i mean, so that the girls on this board won't hurt you! 😉)
 
Of course younger girls feel safer with older boys/guys!!! It's also important in a relationship...
 
Allycat-I respect your point. But I'm surprised that you haven't been able to tell by most of the posts I post that I am FAR from insecure...as a matter of fact, I might be a tad conceited 😀 😉
 
I mean, how you feel on the inside, I known many girls, really 13 in a dozen, that appear to be very secure, but are scared little rabbits on the inside.
 
I do believe that age matters in certain things in life just as much as it doesn't matter in certain other areas. I have friends that vary in age, I have had a boyfriend about four years older than myself, and I constantly play with children's toys and enjoy children's books and a bunch of other related children's items.

It seems that this thread is geared only towards age mattering in a relationship. I feel that every realationship needs to be taken on a case to case basis. What works for some may not necesarily work for others, and that is okay. The world is much more interesting this way! Personally I prefer an older man. There are many reason tied into this, none of which I feel like listing. However, I respect the valid opinions and points that everybody has shared thus far.
 
Yes...it does...I can see Allycat;s point of view...I can feel for him and I see his point..but I hope that anyone can find what they need for thier own life and what THEY need as it's apropriate...just don't cheat yourselves is all I can say. Be safe and listen to your inner voice...your spirit knows what's best for you. Just don't be too hasty. Don't go for what's in front of you becuase that is what is thaere at the time...
 
I think that let's say for a 17-year-old girl guy who's 32 sometimes could be a partner...It all depends from people...
 
When I originally answered this question, I wasn't thinking strictly relationship or whatnot, just in general. I just don't feel (or look) as old as I am.

As far as relatinoships, my hubby is 6 years my junior. So as far as I'm concerned, no, age does NOT matter, the person matters. It's different in every case.
 
LOL Anna8...I think your example is a bit biast...lol! Hit 18 and THEN go knocking on D.B.'s door...just for the sake of legal issues and what not...
 
Age aint nothin but a number! La la la!
Did anybody...you know...did anyone burst into song?
 
Originally posted by Rayne
LOL Anna8...I think your example is a bit biast...lol! Hit 18 and THEN go knocking on D.B.'s door...just for the sake of legal issues and what not...
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You really spotted it!!!! But I still think your feelings matter more than age..
 
I don't really think so... if we were going to go love-wise, I believe that love doesn't come from your mind which knows age, but from your heart which doesn't know age.

Did that make sense? Oh well. If you are truly in love, I don't think age matters. It reminds me of that song, Into The Night about an older man being in love with a 16 year old girl, but they were torn apart by family. "Seperated by fools, who don't know what love is yet." Sad song. Reminds me of B/A actually, but my point, no I don't believe age truly matters.
 
Originally posted by ana8
You really spotted it!!!! But I still think your feelings matter more than age..
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How could I not?! LOL! you always have some alterior motive involving DB...lol
But yeah, I agree with what you said Angelsgirl. Nice.
 
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