We've had this discussion before, it's almost become as popular as Spuffy vs Bangel in some circles, but I'll state my opinion on it once more.
The entire mutiny situation was brought about by poor planning on Buffy's part and poor judgment on Faith's and the Scoobies' part. As the Commander of the force, Buffy had the authority to issue orders, even if it meant sending young girls to their deaths. And let us be clear from the first. It WAS a war, Buffy WAS the general, and the others had the options of either following her orders or leaving.
Now, here were the mistakes as I saw them:
1) Before Buffy made any announcement about launching a second assault on the vineyard, she should have taken Giles, Faith, Willow, and Xander someplace private and discussed with them what she had in mind. THat would have been the time for counter suggestions, questions, or arguments. Faith's initial suggestion, "Or, how about...we don't," could have been addressed at that time and the debate settled, even if it had to come down to Buffy's reminding any or all of them that the front door was open and there were plenty of vacant houses where they could find shelter, but if they remained in her house, they were under her command. An army is a monarchy, not a democracy.
After the plan had been proposed and strategies worked out, THEN Buffy, with the support of her lieutenants, should have announced her plan, with as much detail as she deemed necessary, to the troops, once more with the reminder about the open door and the available vacant houses for anyone not ready to take orders.
Did you notice that I left Dawn, Anya, and Wood out of that inner circle of advisers with whom Buffy worked out her plans? For a simple reason. None of them had anything constructive to contribute, and, in Wood's case, was completely untrustworthy. She should have told Spike to go ahead and kill him right after she slammed the door in Giles' face.
If the situation had gone down that way, the entire next episode could have been rewritten or discarded completely.