I just re-watched Doppelgangland (again) and I think this episode has absolutely the funniest Willow quotes. Some of them were already posted in this thread, but there are many more. Below is a list of what I thought were the funniest.
BUFFY:
The Watcher council shrink is heavily into tests.
He's got tests for everything. T.A.T.'s, rorschach, associative logic... They have that test to see if you're crazy that
asks if you hear voices or have ever wanted to be a florist.
WILLOW:
Oh, I used to -- Wait. Florist means crazy, right?
I never wanted to do that.
---
WILLOW:
And how come all the sudden calisthenics? Aren't you sort
of naturally buff, Buff? ... Buff buff!
---
SNYDER:
You've got the brains, he's got the fast break.
It's a perfect match.
WILLOW:
Match? You want us to breed?
---
WILLOW:
I'm gonna eat this now. It's not lunchtime and I don't even care.
---
WILLOW:
Maybe I'll change my look. Or cut class. You don't know.
And I'm eating this banana. Lunchtime be damned!
---
WILLOW:
Buffy, I'm storming off. It doesn't work if you come with me.
---
ANYA:
Anya. I'm sort of new here. I know Cordelia...
WILLOW:
Ooh, fun.
---
ANYA:
Yeah. I need a secondary to create a temporal fold. I heard
you were a pretty powerful wicca, so...
WILLOW:
You heard right, mister. I'm always ready to work some dark
mojo. So tell me ..... is it dangerous?
ANYA:
Oh, no.
WILLOW:
Well, could we pretend it is?
---
ANYA:
I swear, I'm just trying to find my necklace.
WILLOW:
Did you try looking inside the sofa in HELL?
---
WILLOW:
I believe these chicken bones are mine. Magic is dangerous,
Anya. It's not to be toyed with. Now if you'll excuse me, I have
someone else's homework to do.
---
WILLOW:
Jeez, who died?
Oh god! Who died?
---
BUFFY:
Willow? You're alive?
WILLOW:
Aren't I usually?
---
WILLOW:
I love you guys too...
okay, oxygen becoming an issue...
---
WILLOW:
It's nice that you guys missed me.
Say, you didn't all happen to do a bunch of drugs, did you?
---
BUFFY:
It was you, Willow, in every detail. Except for your not
being a dominatrix... as far as we know.
WILLOW:
Oh, right. Me and Oz play Mistress of Pain every night.
---
VAMPWILL:
Well, look at me. I'm all fuzzy.
---
VAMPWILL:
I kinda like the two of us. We could be quite a team, if you
came around to my way of thinking.
WILLOW:
Would that mean we have to snuggle?
VAMPWILL:
What do you say...?
...wanna be bad?
WILLOW:
This just can't get more disturbing.
WILLOW:
Okay, Ack! Ack! No more!
You're freaking me out!
---
WILLOW:
It's horrible. That's me as a vampire? I mean, I'm so evil,
and skanky, and I think I'm kind of gay.
---
BUFFY:
You okay in that?
WILLOW:
It's a little binding. I guess vampires really don't have to breathe...
WILLOW:
Gosh. Look at those.
---
BUFFY:
You sure you're up to this?
WILLOW:
Don't worry. I won't do anything that could be interpreted
as brave.
---
CORDELIA:
And, okay, it isn't even like I was that attracted to Xander,
it was more just that we kept being in these life or death
situations and that's always all sexy and stuff. I mean I more
or less knew he was a loser but that doesn't make it okay
for you to come around and -- what? Do I have something
on my neck?
VAMPWILL:
Not yet...
---
WILLOW:
Good luck. Try not to kill people.
WILLOW:
Hands! Hands!
---
BUFFY:
You wanna go out tonight?
WILLOW:
Strangely, I feel like staying home. And doing homework.
And flossing. And dying a virgin.