Girl trouble.

Listen mate, Firstly, working behind a bar as an attractive blonde female I have learnt one thing... Buying someone a drink is not a way to getting their phone number - It equals desperate. The amount of times that males have bought me drinks and I've accepted them, drunk them and then moved on to the guy looking unobtrusive, talking to his friends would be enough to get me drunk many times over. Don't quit with the gaming, but maybe tone it down a bit.

Talk to girls as if they're your guy friends, tease them a little bit and don't pay them to much attention. Once they start paying attention to you... Walk away. If they make it clear they don't want you to... Do it anyway! Show character, but don't give to much away of yourself. Mystery is important.

Find a confidence in yourself and women will see it. I promise.

Don't work on muscles. Work on charisma.

I wish you the best of luck on your travels... Everyone deserves a little attention, care and love.
 
November
November
Haha we probably go to the same pubs :p
H
Hello Cutie
But don't be too cool with them afterwards. Speaking as a female that has that done to me, I get bored and wander off!
Us girls are silly creatures, and I can assure you, desperation will show, and I for one don't appreciate incredibly desperate guys. XD My advice would be to just let things take their course, a girl will come to you in time, when you're not looking. I promise.
 
caitaintdead said:
Listen mate, Firstly, working behind a bar as an attractive blonde female I have learnt one thing... Buying someone a drink is not a way to getting their phone number - It equals desperate. The amount of times that males have bought me drinks and I've accepted them, drunk them and then moved on to the guy looking unobtrusive, talking to his friends would be enough to get me drunk many times over. Don't quit with the gaming, but maybe tone it down a bit.

Talk to girls as if they're your guy friends, tease them a little bit and don't pay them to much attention. Once they start paying attention to you... Walk away. If they make it clear they don't want you to... Do it anyway! Show character, but don't give to much away of yourself. Mystery is important.

Find a confidence in yourself and women will see it. I promise.

Don't work on muscles. Work on charisma.

I wish you the best of luck on your travels... Everyone deserves a little attention, care and love.
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Wow ummm that just shows how diffrent you and I are hahaha...I would be a tad miffed if I was talking to someone and they just "walked away"

I've never been one for games...or cat and mouse...I pursued a guy by letting him know I was interested. That I was willing to give him the time of day.

I as a girl who goes to bars appreciate when a man buys me a drink. It makes me feel feminine. I am not saying that love will neccessarily happen over a drink bought but a conversation. and the boy said he has trouble with confidence...if he becomes comfortable talking to random strangers/ girls over a drink perhaps he will become comfortable pursuing a person of interest...like I said before he will need to learn to accept rejection gracefully and get over the fear of just a mere chat and it NOT being associated with the potential of sex, date whatever....

bars are an easy place to do just that...meet a stranger and talk with them. And there is a way to buy someone a drink without coming across as "desperate". I think he'll do just fine.

No harm and trying once and seeing how it goes...like I said before not neccessarily in an attempt to get a date JUST an ice breaker to start a conversation with a simple thank you...or a glance that says come hither...IF something comes of it all the better right?
 
^ That makes me think of how hard dating was. Ugh. I HAD confidence, and it was still hard. I wouldn't want to go back out there. More power to you singletons.

I had a similar conversation with a friend of mine, once. It was our first weekend at college. We were at a party. She said she didn't know how to attract a guy.

I said, "Umm... you could ask him to dance, then you can talk to him. Maybe you'll hit it off."

She looked at me like I had three heads.

I said, "Watch. I'll show you."

I turned around, picked out an attractive-looking guy, and asked him to dance. Easy as that. I'm no great dancer (in fact, i really suck at it), but that broke the ice. We talked and hung out for the rest of the night, exchanged numbers, and even talked on the phone a few times after that. Nothing came of it because his college was too far away and neither of us had cars (plus I was sort of seeing someone). But it did help my friend. The student outstripped the master that night and ended up bringing the guy she chose back to her room. No lie. They actually dated for a little while. It really is all about confidence and breaking the ice. Whether it's a drink or a dance or something else, the key is just to break the ice and start a conversation. You never know where it will lead, but finding out is part of the fun.

That said, that sounds a whole lot scarier now than it did when I was 18. I'm glad I'm married and no longer have to dance or drink in public in order to break the ice.
 
Thanks guys and girls, these last posts have been really helpful. If anyone have any more advice please share. I feel like im learning a lot.
 
These last few posts, particularly caitaint and Vicariously prove that everyone is different, but to attract the girl best suited to your wants and needs you have to be yourself, not try to be something you're not.

Still the best course of action is to go out more with your friends, be yourself and just enjoy yourself.

This will bolster your confidence.
 
Bored of the Dead said:
Still the best course of action is to go out more with your friends, be yourself and just enjoy yourself.

This will bolster your confidence.
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That's basically what I said. Also, try going to places that you've not been before- it'll widen your interests, prevent you from getting stuck in a rut where you just see the same people and do the same things, and you might just enjoy it!!

Despite all the stuff I've been writing, I'd say mostly, don't listen to much of the specific advice that any females on the board give you. Not because it's not fabulous advice, but because all females are different in what they want out of a guy, so a technique that might work on one girl might not work on another- it's more about finding a way of talking to and meet girls that you're comfortable with.
 
I would like to offer a different perspective. There has been a lot of talk about confidence and self esteem and how if you feel good about yourself you will be more attractive. First you need to ask yourself why you should feel good about yourself. Are you deserving of confidence or self esteem. I disagree with the idea (General idea, not necessarily that has been put out here) that we should automatically feel good about ourselves and have a good opinion of ourselves. Your opinion of yourself should reflect your moral positions and your actions. There are dirtbag people that think very highly of themselves for no reason other than conceit. If you take a moral position, and perform some actions that you see as noble it will give you a genuine feeling of confidence and self worth and not just an arbitrary "feel good about yourself because you breathe" approach. So when someone asks you whats so great about being you, you can reply that you stand up for the weak and helpless, or you help someone to help themselves, or you try and help people learn something, or you know the difference between good and evil.
 
Social Suicide said:
So as long as you haven't slept with a girl she doesn't count as girlfriend?
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Right I did not say that I wish people would stop thinking things like that.

Heres the story to clear the record. We were firends for a couple months hung out all the time after school etc and then I decided to ask her out she said yes. Thats when everything turned sour, I closed up didnt talk to her at all. Never showed any phyiscal or emotional affection and I decided to end it rather than string her along when I didnt think I could make it work.

Happy now?
 
I think he means "didn't get on" as in "didn't get along." I think they went out, didn't get along, so the relationship didn't go anywhere... like it didn't lead to an actual boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.


EDIT: He explained like a second before I posted. Sorry!
 
D
Dancing man
slow coach lol
Okay, sorry. The whole ex on the one side and no girlfriend on the other side thing confused me...have patience with the non native-speaking girl for getting confused 🙁
 
D
Dancing man
sorry to confuse you :)
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