If you want to understand women, gasm ol' bud, just go at it like Jack Nicholson said in "As Good As It Gets". He played a writer who wrote romantic/adventure type novels and a woman asks him how he writes his female characters so well. His answer is something like I take a man, remove all logic and half the IQ, and I have my character.😉*** starts ducking as the shoes, tomatoes and hand grenades fly***
Seriously, now. I know, I've told this story before, but I think it bears repeating (ok, us old guys gotta repeat ourselves...).
A couple of years ago, I was puttering around the house on a weekend evening. I didn't bother to go to my high school reunion, which was scheduled that weekend, and about 830pm the phone rang. I answered, and it was, to my surprise, my high school girlfriend (we'll call her Julie). We were very serious, from grade 9 until halfway thru grade 12. She was smart, gorgeous and we were deeply in love...or so I thought. She dumped me out of the blue just after the start of 2nd term, and started to date the local shady guy/drug dealer/parttime student. You all know the type. When I asked why, she said, "You're too predictable and boring. I want some excitement...some sparks. I need an edge!" I'll admit, I'm a guy who likes routine to some extent, and structure, and I am a small c conservative type...I've got into my share of scrapes, but nothing serious, and rarely lawbreaking. I was devastated, but I dealt, drank beer with my football buds and got over it (then met the future Mrs. D!!). So, some decade plus later, here she is calling me. I knew she had married the guy in question, and she knew I had married Mrs. D (they knew of each other, had met once or twice). After the usual small talk, etc she asks, "I was wondering if you would like to meet me for drinks?" I said, "Let me check with Mrs. D. Is [edgy guy] up for it too?" She said that she had split from him, and she was thinking that just her and I would be going, no Mrs. D. Of course, Mrs. D is sitting right there listening, which wouldn't have mattered anyway if she hadn't been, so I said, "No, I don't think that's gonna happen". She sounded disappointed, and I just had to ask. So I said, "Why am I all of a sudden attractive again...I'm still boring and predictable. I thought you wanted to live on the edge?" She said that living on the edge was fun for a while, and exciting for sure, but it gets old...and it doesn't pay the bills, and provide food and a safe place to live, and those things got more important than living an edgy life. Boring didn't look so boring now after all. So I gently explained to her that if I had said "Yes" to meeting her, she would be setting herself up for the same crap she already had lived thru...I wouldn't have been the person she thought I was. She said she hadn't thought of it that way...she just wanted stability, and was willing to steal someone's husband to get it. I told her that you can't steal any man worth having...and I wished her luck.
The point, you ask? Just this...if you pick losers, you get losers. Ladies and gents, the good ones are out there. But if you're hung up on superficial crap like height (hmm, do you think the dwarfman has a chip on his shoulder), weight, income, looks, education or any one of 100 other things, and not looking at the person inside, you're doomed to failure, or worse. Am I advocating dating someone you find completely hideous, with bad body odour, a bad attitude towards the opposite sex and a job at Quicky Mart for life? No. But expecting a nurturing 6ft+ jock type (or an aerobically honed babe) with an MBA and a Fortune 500 career may be stretching it in the other direction too. You gotta make the prospective ones jump thru the hoops...but not too many (am I looking over at ana8? Maybe.🙂), and they gotta be the right ones...character, attitude, life philosophy, morals, ethics...not boobs, biceps and bankroll.
Gasm, man, I feel your pain. You'll deal, and you'll heal. It'll be hella hard 🙂 but you'll do it. And just when you give up looking...BOOM! She'll be there. Believe it, man, it'll happen!
