But what strikes me as odd/funny is that S1 he goes to pick her up to spend some time in LA, S2 he brings her home from LA and let her do a big shopping spree. And I am sure that he picks her up again sometime. But come S3 he just turns a total 180 it seemed and blew Buffy and family off from there. And it seemed like Joss did that so he could have Giles move in as Buffys permananet father figure. But Hank did not seem like the guy who would ignore his wife of 16+ years dieing and not even care about his 15 year old daughter living with her 20 yr old jobless sister
Okay so I warn you I have personal issues with this here, haha.
Fathers can do a 180 like that and not just for narrative purposes. I'm from a divorced family and in my early teens my Dad was quite a regular feature in my life- he used to visit my Mom and me every wednesday evening for a visit in which we would all talk together over coffee or whatever which, according to my Mother, allowed my Father and I to maintain and nurture a bond. But then when I was around 15/16 he got a girlfriend. Which was great; he stopped being so depressed all the time! Of course she was twenty years his junior and had three kids of her own already but that's beside the point. When I was 17 he married her. When I was 18 he didn't want anything to do with us anymore. He just suddenly stopped coming and didn't even call to say so. He was quite happy with his brand new family and their holidays to Greece.
I called him for help money-wise my first year of college when I was having a little trouble with rent, but nothing came of it. I called him when my Grandmother was sick. Nothing. He didn't come to my Grandmother's funeral. When my Mother was in serious trouble- for personal reasons I'm going to choose not to say what exactly- there was not even a text of reply to my messages on his voicemail. And I don't doubt if my Mom dies, god forbid, he would not blink an eye because he has simply ceased to care.
My Father, in effect did the Hank180, that you just said was unbelievable. My point is, although that would have been for narrative ease in the series, the storyline itself, from my own experience is entirely concievable. The fact that he'd been married to Joyce for nearly two decades, that his daughters were alone, that Buffy would be struggling would have I believe been in his mind but not enough to do anything about it. Some men are just that useless and pointless and downright....::insert rude word here::.