Have you ever lost a friend?

[PrincessBuffy16]

BtVS and AtS are full of beautiful, strong and unbreakable friendships. They were tested, with simple fights and big apocalypses, but they never broke. Maybe some of them are not strong as they used to be, but some are stronger than they ever have been. But, can a real life friendships come above some obstacles and stay strong? Some things shouldn't be forgiven, and some people don't deserve second chances. Some people hurt us, and sometimes, we hurt them. So, the basic question I'm asking, have you ever lost a friend. Now, I'm not talking about falling apart because someone moved away. I'm talking about loosing a friend because of your's/their's mistakes.

I always tried to be open to people. Not to hurt anyone, not to gossip anyone, but sometimes you're not the only one who plays the game. Yes, I've lost a friend. Few years ago. I even don't remember who's fault it was, and to be honest, it doesn't even matter anymore. The thing that matters that person is not in my life anymore, and that sucks.

So, have you ever lost a friend?

 

[Misty]

I think everyone's lost at least one friend in life for many reasons. I'm not friends with some people that I used to hang out with because of things like not being in the same classes or not seeing eachother alot, or because I don't really like them that much anymore.

 

[EvilBuffy]

Let's see, the ones who stand out the most...

#1- I knew this chick since we were like 7. We were close friends all through school until we got to high school. Then I 'lost' her a few times for different reasons. First, she was dating a guy who I caught with another girl. So I told her that I thought she was making a mistake by being with him (but in much kinder words) and she flipped out on me, called me a 'jealous bi**h' and told me we weren't friends anymore. Three months later she called me and told me he was cheating on her and acted like nothing ever happened between us. I played along. Anywho, this girl also had this thing for dating people I liked. Seriously, she would show NO interest in a guy until after I told her I liked him, the BOOM! They were sleeping together. Lastly, she kept inviting me over to her house to stay the night. That sounds fun, right? Wrong. EVERY SINGLE TIME she would call her boyfriend or someone else and literally LEAVE me in her house by myself all night. There was more that I won't get into. I gave her a big 'f*** you' that I also won't explain and that was that.

#2- Pretty much what happened here was at a party I was throwing, my friend decided she wanted to drink. She had never drank before and after that she constantly wanted to get drunk. We were like sisters for months until I started dating someone and she felt like I was dropping her for him. I always INSISTED we bring her with us everywhere. First stop every day was picking her up. But I guess she felt like a third wheel and one day she tells me it's all my fault that she drinks and doesn't act like herself anymore, yada yada. Puh-lease. I'm the one who tried convincing her not to drink in the first place. I fired back with what I just said and quickly pointed out all of the ways that it was HER fault she was drinking. Also, I knew her for 2 years before that happened and she acted no differently than she ever had before. Which I also gladly pointed out. It pisses me off when people blame their own stupid mistakes on other people.

#3- Well, pretty much she was driving my car and ran a red light. A month later I get a ticket in the mail that I can't afford to pay. I called her and asked her to at least pay half of it since she was driving, she said 'Of course I will, I'm so sorry!'. I put in on my credit card (which maxed it out) and hoped she would pay me within a couple of weeks so I could pay the bill quickly. It's been over 2 years and I haven't seen a dime. Just the most unreliable person on the planet and she proved that countless times before this happened.

There's a few others as well, but no one that I was very close with. Other than that, I have lost friends who have moved away and I've lost a few friends to car accidents. 🙁

Anyways, I'm not a gossiper. I'm pretty easy going and I give people multiple chances. But I'm also not a pushover. Keep pissing me off and I'll kick you straight out of my life. I hold no regret for losing these people. If I had to choose being friendless and being around people like the ones I just listed, I'd rather be alone. By far. Luckily though I made a few good ones over the years. 🙂 (Sorry for such a long post!)

 

[GrrArghx]

I just lost one. My best one, in fact.

She's my cousin by marriage but we "met" in 2006. We clicked instantly. We started spending all of our time together and before we knew it, she was practically living at my house. A few months later, around May of 2007, she started talking to this guy and got her first real boyfriend. That's when she showed her true colors. This girl cannot stand to be without a boyfriend. He caused shit between us and ultimately he dumped her. Since then, she's been boy crazy.

We hung out a lot less than we used to when she started dating, but when she met her current boyfriend in 2009, that was it. We've only hung out sparingly since then and I turned to my other online friends since I couldn't turn to her. A few weeks ago, she accused me of replacing her with my online friends and that's when I couldn't take it anymore and I blew up. She messaged me on MySpace and called me a self-centered bitca and I finally replied to her and told her how I've really been feeling for the past few years.

I just got so fed up with it. I don't even want to be her friend anymore. She doesn't care about me except when she wants something. She lives 20 freaking minutes from me and my friend in Virginia is a better friend than her.

I'm just so glad I don't have to deal with it anymore. It's a huge weight off my shoulders. I think I mourned the loss of losing her as my best friend a long time ago because she's nothing like she used to be.

 

[Marisa]

I have lost one friend. I can say that she is the only friend I care that I lost.
Most other situations had drama and in the end I don't care. People change and it is whatever now.
I had one friend who I thought was my "best friend" but her boyfriend was more important. Or boyfriends don't know. I wasn't really sad though because by the end of the whole thing I was fed up and looking back I don't know why I put up with things for so long.
I have only had one friendship like the people of Buffy when I think about it.

 

[anyatara]

I've grown apart with most of my friends. The people I'm closest to right now, are people I barely knew a few years back. I'm used to people deciding that I'm not popular enough and don't fit with their image, or whatever, so I'm used to losing friends. Most of them dropped away in the transition from primary school to secondary school, which I suppose is a common time for friendships to break away, but God, it hurt like Hell. I had two best friends, we were inseperable from the age of five to the age of eleven, then we started at secondary school, they got popular and I didn't. They're both in a lot of my classes, and mostly they treat me like strangers. I suppose that's not really 'losing' friends that's more...Growing apart from friends?

There was one friendship, which broke off which got really nasty. We're talking really, really nasty. I can't even remember how it started, all I remember is that one day we were friends, the next her Mum was ringing my Mum yelling down the phone. We were twelve, and my Mum didn't see the big deal, as she kept telling my friend's Mum kids did fight and fall out, but it was best to let us work it out in time. Oh, that was so not happening. Her Mum was basically calling the shots, and in the end she got malicious, mean comments, turning my friends against me...It was already at the time I was being bullied and self harming, so really didn't help, you know? I don't talk about it, ever, and I think it's pretty much forgotten now, but we're not exactly friends. We get along as though nothing happened, but boy it did.

I tried to fix that friendship, I really did. I remember, she hated me, she was talking all sorts of crap about me and most of my friends hated me because of the things she made up about me. But, I tried to extend a hand of friendship, I went up to her and gave her an invitation to my 13th birthday...Guess how quickly that ended up thrown away? I'm pretty sure we only made up in the end because she started going through a lot of other problems and didn't have the time for petty arguments, over nothing. That was the worst time I've ever lost a friend, it was a year long and it hurt so much throughout that year.

However, that's in the past. I'm having more trouble right now with friend drama. My best friend? Pretty sure no-one here really knows her, though she was a member for a little while. We've been best friends about four years, and for most of that time we were close, we've been like sisters, honestly, I've confided everything with her. The last few months have been rough, though, we've both changed as people, and she's doing exactly the same as everyone else has: started to believe she's too cool for me. Okay, I know my friends aren't exactly cool, and we're probably the most unpopular people in the school, but, hey, at least they're my real friends. She acts like we can't be friends anymore because I hang out with them, and it pretty much sucks.

Her new friends? They hate me, genuinely; they really have issues with me, I don't know why, or what brought it on, but they think I'm weird and no matter how much I try to act normal with them, I just get dirty looks and brushed off. I'm pretty sure we'd still be close if she didn't care about their opinions so much, but she really does. Every weekend, she goes out with them, or her other friends who she won't even introduce me to, and then if I suggest hanging out, she just claims to be busy. Pretty much a broken friendship in progress, we did actually speak today when I was being sent home from school sick, but it was only because the teacher told her she had to sit with me. It wasn't really a bonding conversation, either, it was her telling me about the latest boy she's into, and what she did with her other friends on Friday night.

Long story short, since I'm now aware that I got into a long, angsty teenage rant (xD) I'm very good at losing friends. I have exactly one friend I trust with my life, and we're not always close; we were best friends, we drifted, and now we're close again, but it's always like that with me, people seem to get fed up of me, and I'm far too good at letting people go without a fight.

 

[Professor Walsh]

Friendships ebb and flow. Through my life, some friendships have waned, often due to changes like moving, changing schools or in the wake of a break-up. There are friends I believe I will never really come back in touch with. Still, I hesitate at saying I've lost friends, per se. Not if I don't count the one I've been to the funeral of.

 

[soulunsung]

I think I lose friends, because I'm so afraid that I'll lose them and I end up not trusting in them, the way that I should. I could give you a handful of reasons why I'm like that and why I am basically a self-sabotager but I'm not going to.

In short, I've lost friends because a.) I've done stupid things, b.) I was too afraid and that led to the trust issues, which then led to losing the friend, c.) maybe at some point I've been guilty of manipulation or maybe they have, in any case it was a relevant factor in the "losing a friend" department, and d.) pretty much everything else that everyone else has already said.

 

[Lyri]

I've drifted apart from a lot of people in my life, through school and college mostly, but I have lost two friends because they weren't the kind of people I thought they were.

Bex was a girl I met on my first day of college and we became best friends very quickly. We went through college together, and I helped her through a lot of tough times in her life.

She got engaged to a guy after dating him for five months, not that big of a deal you might say, but when you take into consideration she got with this guy exactly a week after she broke up with her former boyfriend, who she was with for three years, you could see why I was maybe a little concerned. Anyway, she was my friend, and she was happy, so I put my concerns aside. The wedding was set for six months time. Except she never asked for any help. She told me she picked out her wedding dress alone, picked the flowers and everything, and I was like 'okay, that's a little weird, but, hey, she's quirky and different and maybe she's not like me'. So I let it drop.

Then, on my birthday, we were meeting up with an old friend, a girl we hadn't seen for years. She left college half-way through to go to a specialist art school and we all sort of drifted apart. But, on the drive there, Bex told me she had something to tell me. She said she'd asked Lesley to be her bridesmaid. I was shocked. This was a girl we hadn't spoken to for YEARS, who lived in another city. I was her best friend, the one who was there through all the shit. She said she couldn't explain to me why, just that this was the way she wanted it to be. So, I had to sit through what was supposed to be my birthday party and listen to them discuss her bridesmaids dress. Pretty crappy day.

At her hen party, I over heard her sister telling their aunt that the reason Bex hadn't asked me to be her bridesmaid was because I wasn't 'in the same place as Bex right now', I wasn't as 'emotionally stable' and 'really, who wants a bridesmaid with glasses, anyway? It wouldn't exactly look good in the photos.'

I haven't spoken to any of them since. Not that it was Lesley's fault and I did try, but apparently, I'm just not worth it as she never returned my calls.


The second friend was Victoria, who is basically a jealous bitca. We went out to dinner with some other friends of mine, and she ignored them the whole night. A few days later she said that she didn't like them and I had to chose whether I wanted to be friends with them or friends with her, as she wasn't going to be seeing them again. She was the one who asked for the dinner so that she could meet them, because she was pissed that I had friends she didn't know, and she expected me to just drop them just because she didn't like them. I never asked her to spend time with them, they could stay apart, but the fact that she made me choose was too much for me to take, so I chose them. And I still have them now, they're some of my closest and insanely amazing friends and I love them dearly.

 

[Abbeycat]

During 8th grade or so, I was kind of cyber bullied. I lost a friend later on because she couldn't forget and forgive.

Even my two friends who live in different states, they just seem so busy that I don't get a chance to chat w/ them on Facebook They don't even try to talk to me. Well, one of them at least sends a holiday update about what's been going on. But I've tried to chat w/ them but I don't get anywhere. I just feel like maybe the friendships have drifted away which makes me sad. Because I do wanna know what's going on with their lives but I don't always get a response back.

 

[sisterofmercy]

I seem to have this knack of becoming close with someone and being best friends with them, only to have them leave and not even try and contact me. It's like I made the effort to try and keep the friendship alive but there was never any reciprocation. It sounds melodramatic but after it happens 3 times you're kind of left thinking what the whole point of it is in the first place. Suppose that's why I keep to myself more these days.

 

[zobothehobo]

Loosing friends is something I know well.

I had this friend Mallory. She and I were SO tight in fourth grade, our teacher made sure we were in the same class in fifth grade. She was a bitch in fifth grade but I still considered her my best friend ever. In sixth grade she apologized for fifth grade but she was always at swim team (she did year round swimming). I would call her and she NEVER called me back. We were supposed to go to the same high school but my parents wanted me to go to the high school in my dad's district instead. If I had gone to her high school, we might, probably still be friends... but I went to my high school. She ran cross country freshman through junior year... their practices started before school did of course. My birthday freshman year was on a friday. I asked her if she had practice, she said no. I told her to come to the pool at noon for my party to meet all my friends from school so they could meet her too! And to have fun and celebrate my birthday. We waited until 1:30 when I realized she wasn't going to show. I called her the next day and found she forgot. I still remember her birthday: December 8. Although that wasn't the end of our friendship... the end happened sophomore year. We had our "personal projects" to due the first week of December. Personal Projects are like the graduation project for sophomores... big big deal. Sophomores at my high school spend the first half of the year doing their PPs. Along with doing my PP, I made Mal a collage of our 7 years of friendship. pictures, written memories, etc. It was her 16th birthday that Friday. I called her the morning of and sang happy birthday (she got a new phone and didn't call me back). She went out with her friends and had a sweet 16 without me. And she didn't even come by to pick up her gift after I finally got a hold of her and told her I had a gift for her. Then we talked more and she told me we weren't really friends anymore so she didn't feel the need to hang out with me or get her gift I worked so hard on. Even after I told her what it was.

Then there's Liv and Kyle... Liv less so than Kyle but these two friends from high school I was joined to at the hip just... aren't like me anymore. we have nothing in common. At all. And that's sad, but it's fine. It's not like Mal where I wish we were still friends.

 

[Goldilocks]

Yes.. I had a very very nice friend, and we started in high school she started ignoring me and didn't want to talk to me anymore.. so a while ago she sent me a message saying "hey, long time no see. feel like doing my spanish homework?" 😱 and we aren't even friends anymore..

 

[NY State of Mind]

I've lost many "friends"....whether it was through deaths, fallouts, etc. I'm not the forgiving type if it's serious even though it may appear like I am at times...it's like the Godfather.."Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer."

 

[Litheran]

I've had several friends who I grew apart from; mostly because high school was our place to socialize. Once high school was done some moved off to go to college; others just moved on with their lives.

My best friend when I was younger was Adam. The story of how we became friends was pretty cool. Our brothers almost got into a fist fight down the street from our houses. We ran into each other at the video store later and shared notes on having stupid tough guy brothers. At the time we both watched professional wrestling; so he invited me to come watch a pay per view match at his dad's house.

After that we were like brothers; I ate plenty of meals at his house and slept over every weekend. His cousins would come over and we'd hold wrestling matches; using his trampoline as the ring. His step-dad built this awesome clubhouse and we'd camp out in there during the summer. We'd stay up until 3:00 in the morning playing Resident Evil and watching horror movies.

When I realized I wanted to be a director; Adam was the first and only one to jump on board. We grabbed my mom's old camera and started making short films in his backyard.

I was a little older; so I really gotta see what it would be like to be a big brother.

As I was reaching the end of my teens; Adam went off to church camp one summer. He came back and told me he was saved. Suddenly he started spending all of his free time in church activities. Constantly he told me he was afraid I was going to hell. The kid was my best friend; so I got saved too. I never bought into it though; I just needed my "little brother". Eventually he wanted me to go to church with him all the time. It basically got to the point where we could only be friends if I went to church. I shouldn't have to live by anyone's standards but mine; so we stopped hanging out together.

I also had a falling out with some film-making friends in my teens. I ran into one of them a few years ago once we'd both had a chance to mature a little bit; we were able to put the past behind us and we chat occasionally while he's in Vancouver.

I've also had some friends of the female persuasion that I've lost; but we wont go into that right now.

 

[InsaneMystic]

I basically lost my entire group of friends after my stint in the funny farm and had to start up from zero again... and I've grown apart from the first group I was freinds with after that by now, too. Life just changes, I guess, and your circle of friends changes along with it.

The one that got to me most though was my best friend from the last years of school and the first few years after graduation; he hooked up with my sister after meeting her a couple of times when he visited our home, and that drove us apart. Back then, me and my sis - and me and my mom - definitely weren't on all that good terms, to put it mildly, and my friend ended up siding with them against me, so that's how our friendship went down the drain. He definitely didn't stick to Barney's "Bro's before Ho's" code, it seems. 😉

 

[BuffyElevated]

It's inevitable that one day everyone will lose a friend. People grow apart as they grow up and branch out into the world. It's a sad fact of life, but it happens.

 

[mayfever]

There was this guy I was really good friends with (I thought). We always got along exceptionally well, but didn't really hang out just the two of us until my ex-boyfriend broke up with me for the first time in March 2009. I'd just moved back from Russia (he'd dumped me over the phone while I was still in St. Pete) and I guess I was a bit fragile, bordering on insane. Try reassembling your social life while nursing a broken heart - not that simple! Anyway, this guy didn't seem to mind that neurosis was my middle name, we hung out a lot and got really close. However, the way things go, after a while we ended up kind of seeing each other. He still insisted that he didn't want a relationship and that we would be friends even if the benefits stopped, and I was happy to go along with that until one day he suddenly did want one, and I said I didn't. He got up, left my flat and never spoke to me again. The next day he had defriended me on facebook and moved back in with his parents to "recuperate". Among his friends I am now known as The Beast. Why I know all this despite the fact he never spoke to me again? Oh, but he's best friends with my flatmate now.

 

[Ianigsy]

I lost a friend of several years' standing in November- we basically had a little fall-out over a comment on Facebook, seemed to be getting on and then about ten days later she cut me out of her life completely. It doesn't help that she's bipolar and (on the basis of the last six weeks or so) it looks as if she was building to another episode but I no longer have any way of contacting her- what seems to happen is that about every four or five years she goes through a bad phase where can end up borderline suicidal and cuts off everybody apart from her family. On the other hand, she's qualified to PhD level so it isn't always easy to tell when she does and doesn't know her own mind.

 

[This Year's Girl]

I've lost a friend that I was really, really close to. We considered each other sisters and even got a sisterhood tattoo together. Then, after being friends for maybe 2 years she met her boyfriend and everything changed. I wouldn't say that was all of the reason, but I think it started there. She got really wrapped up in her relationship and it was really hard to go from hanging out and talking almost everyday to seeing each other maybe 2 times a month. After a while we had a big falling out, she was really mean to me, and I said some really mean stuff to her too. We remained friends a while after that, but it was never the same and eventually she stopped speaking to me.

Now when I have some distance to it I can see that she wasn't such a great friend as I thought she was when we were close. We haven't been friends in maybe 2 years now, and I have friends I always were closer to and whom I love very much, but I still miss her sometimes. When we weren't friends anymore I felt like it was the same as breaking up with someone, and when I think about her I sometimes realise I'm not completly over her. I'm about to be, but it was really rough on me when she started avoiding me, and the way she treated me towards the end really felt like the way a crappy partner treats you and you still love them.