How to make friends in real life

  • Thread starter Thread starter mudslides
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Personally, I have found the quickest and easiest way to get new friends, as an adult, is the get a job in a bar/pub... I've worked part time in the industry, and have made friends within weeks of each job. The social setting is perfect for making friends, and you don't have to arrange to socialise as you're already doing it.

Obviously, there are other routes, but this is what seems to work for me.
 
I'm still pretty new to being an adult, but I find even if you don't like where you work, staff get-togethers are a fun way to meet new people. Or, as people have mentioned above, do something different and join a class, find a common interest with someone you may just know enough to say 'hi' to and build from there. Personally, I've never had an issue making friends because I'm a really outgoing, friendly, who-you-see-is-who-you-get kind of person. Bars and clubs are always a way to make new friends, too.
 
I'd keep an eye open for anybody trying to get some sort of group started, whether it's volunteering, a choir, community organisations, book groups- anything like that. See whether your local library has a noticeboard, or the community pages of your local paper. A large number of the friends I now have come from a community group I joined about 15 years ago.
 
I'm so sorry you had to deal with that @Amethyst, but honestly you and me are in the same boat when it comes to people. I have enormous trust issues, or at least that's what I tell myself. I tell myself that I hate people, and that they're not to be trusted, but at the same time, I can't help but WANT to be friendly, and open. It's like I'm trying so hard to be this cynical person who hates the world, but the minute a person who's actually decent strikes up a conversation, I'm embarrassingly giddy. 😀 So to answer the question, it simply boils down to this: be yourself. If you can't find any honest, decent, fun, trustworthy people, be one. And watch the gates open. 🙂
 
I only have a few rl friends but it takes time and honesty imo. I have made a few very good online friends and have had the privilege to meet a few of them and keep them as friends. Some come and go, others stay...

Feel free to chat to me as I'm only a county away from you!! I love making new friends 😀

(((hugs to all)))
 
I can relate to this topic as most who have posted can.

It can be really hard to make friends as an adult and if you don't have any regular interaction with people you like or different sets of people. As many have already suggested, I recommend reaching out through your personal interests. We are lucky to live in this day and age, where finding local meet ups, clubs, classes, etc. is relatively easy. If you are feeling brave, you can even try to do something new in a group setting (a.k.a. sign up for a class about a subject you know little about, try a new workout group class...).
 
Mudslides I'm in the same situation, and I know we're not the only ones.

I think the problem is that London is a very extroverted city, and I've joined sports groups in the past but it always seemed like everyone had already formed cliques and their own friendships, so it was pretty difficult.

I have 3 or 4 close friends, but they all live about 5 or 6 hours away.

I've joined a few book groups, which I've found particularly good for introverts. You're surrounded by people who like to read, and we spend about 3 or 4 hours together every few weeks, which is nice, but not too pushing.

I've found some great book groups and writing groups on meetup.com, and there's loads in London, that aren't full of people who are too in your face and it's nice to just spend a few hours every so often socialising with people who have similar interests, even if you don't make life long friends out of them. There's also a Buffy group that meetup every now and then in London.

But definitely don't think it's just you. Most of us adults are in the same situation, particularly when we like books/tv/film etc... I also hate the Summer too! I have hayfever and just generally can't stand the bloody heat. But apparently that's weird, everybody's supposed to love the Summer... *sigh*

🙂 xx
 
thetriothetrio said:
Mudslides I'm in the same situation, and I know we're not the only ones.

I think the problem is that London is a very extroverted city, and I've joined sports groups in the past but it always seemed like everyone had already formed cliques and their own friendships, so it was pretty difficult.

I have 3 or 4 close friends, but they all live about 5 or 6 hours away.

I've joined a few book groups, which I've found particularly good for introverts. You're surrounded by people who like to read, and we spend about 3 or 4 hours together every few weeks, which is nice, but not too pushing.

I've found some great book groups and writing groups on meetup.com, and there's loads in London, that aren't full of people who are too in your face and it's nice to just spend a few hours every so often socialising with people who have similar interests, even if you don't make life long friends out of them. There's also a Buffy group that meetup every now and then in London.

But definitely don't think it's just you. Most of us adults are in the same situation, particularly when we like books/tv/film etc... I also hate the Summer too! I have hayfever and just generally can't stand the bloody heat. But apparently that's weird, everybody's supposed to love the Summer... *sigh*

🙂 xx
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Yeah, Ive gone to "normal" meetups and things like daytime gigs in parks but it feels so forced and hard for me. lol. I want to skip the awkward stages and just be friends with people! (impossible I know) if you ever wanna talk, just pm me =)
 
I would definately second the book groups and even writers circles. That way you can also hone a skill!

I am shy but i'm not if that makes sense. I will talk to anyone, I even met someone standing in line and we are still friends 7 years later. I have a lot of what I would call acquitances and people I spend time with but those I actually trust are smaller in number.

I moved back to the city and all my friends were back in London, I joined a Kickboxing club and the people I met there are now some of the best friends I have. We were all in the same spot that we were new to the area and didn't really know anyone. Women in general I find are more reluctant to make friends when they get older as they 'have their group'.

I now Crew for a company that does covnentions and find that is also a great way to meet people.

Find a common interest and just take it from there. Saying that some of my best friends are also online friends.
 
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