Joke time! oh yeah, and rated pg13 at least lol

L

LivingDeadGirl

you tear it apart
Joined
May 19, 2003
Messages
417
Age
41
Location
Montreal
post here the funnyiest jokes and pictures and stuff you know!
its time for a good laugh!

drunk.jpg


legotech.jpg


bigcat.jpg



billpeek.jpg


monkey.jpg


beavis.bush.jpg


coolbaby.jpg


bertjerry.jpg


okay thats it for me!
what about you guys.. can yall make me laugh?

Double Post (next time use the edit button!):

and heres another one:

tanlines.jpg
 
Good stuff! I love that Beavis and Butthead thing, lol.

Hmmm, I'm afraid I don't have any funny pics of my own.....but I have a couple of REALLY LAME jokes that might make you roll your eyes in disgust......😛

1) A man walks over to a lady sitting at a bar and says to her: "I'll bet I can make your breasts look bigger!"

The lady, rolling her eyes, says: " Oh really, how?"

The man says: " I have small hands".

::::rimshot::::

Thank you! Thank you! 😛


2) A brunette walks into a doctor's office complaining of pain EVERYWHERE she touches herself..........

"It hurts everywhere doctor...watch........."

She takes her finger and touches her elbow, causing her to yell in pain. The same thing happens when she touches her hip, her shoulder, and her thigh.

The doctor watches all of this with furrowed brow...then says: "Let me ask you this, are you normally a BLONDE?"

"Well, yes, I am naturally blonde......"

"That's what I thought", says the Doc "Your finger is broken".


::::Rimshot::::

Ahhh, thank you! Thank youoooooo! Your hisses and boos are like music to my ears! 😀 😛 😛

Try the veal folks! And goodnight!
 
Love the cat with the beer!

Why is it the only joke I can ever remember is the one Quentin Tarantino tells in the bar at the beginning of Desperado? I'd repeat that here, but it's a little long and probably a little too off-color for the boards. So rent Desperado, listen to the joke, and then pretend I told it! 🙂
 
Lol...good joke LazyDolphin! 😛

(Hey...you told us to pretend).

But I gotta tell ya folks, it's tough being married to a woman that weighs 892 lbs.! She gets undressed, and 17 stomachs roll out! I tell ya........she said to me last night, "baby, my stomach hurts....."

I said to her..."Which one....#3 or # 8?

I tell ya...............


😛 😛 😛
 
Originally posted by OLD MASTER 2.0
Good stuff! I love that Beavis and Butthead thing, lol.


2) A brunette walks into a doctor's office complaining of pain EVERYWHERE she touches herself..........

"It hurts everywhere doctor...watch........."

She takes her finger and touches her elbow, causing her to yell in pain. The same thing happens when she touches her hip, her shoulder, and her thigh.

The doctor watches all of this with furrowed brow...then says: "Let me ask you this, are you normally a BLONDE?"

"Well, yes, I am naturally blonde......"

"That's what I thought", says the Doc "Your finger is broken".


::::Rimshot::::

Ahhh, thank you! Thank youoooooo! Your hisses and boos are like music to my ears! 😀 😛 😛

Try the veal folks! And goodnight!
Click to expand...
oh my life!!! that is a funny one!!! i L O V E blonde jokes 😀
heres one:
a brunette and a blonde a riding in a car.
the brunette, driving tells her friend as she points out the window:
"Oh! look! what a nice forest!"
the blonde excited, looking out the window complains:
"WHERE!!? i cant see, theres too many trees!!!"
hehehe
 
If your easily offended stay away from this post. 16+

Ok, I have some good and some dirty ones, that may offend, but remember they're just jokes, so don;t get your pants or panties in a bunch.

For Women
Things to write on bathroom stalls.

'Beauty is only a light switch away'
'make love, not war. hell do both, get married!
'The best way to a mans heart is to saw open his breast plate'
'friends don't let friends take home ugly men'
'no wonder you always go home alone'
'don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die'

for men
5 rules to remind you about your condoms....

1. Before you slip between her thighs, be sure to condomize.
2. Don't be a loner, cover your boner.
3. Don't be silly, protect your willy.
4. If you're not going to sack it, go home and whack it.
5. Wrap it in foil, before checking her oil.

Blonde Jokes
She was so blonde.....

- She tripped over a cordless phone.
- She studied for a blood test.
- when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
- When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left," she turned around and went home.
- She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
- she sold the car for gas money!

Very funny pictures.
Before looking at these beware! These are 16+ pictures. cause some have swearing.

Big Mouse
Morning Breath
Stressed
Bad Dog!
Windows features 1
windows features 2
Cute Baby
don't #### up the landing
Hair dryer please
Baby Moses

I though these were hilarious! sorry if you didn't. I did warn, so I hope I;m not violating any rules. I'll have some better stuff tomorrow.
 
the pictures were soooo funny porky!!! the suicide note one is sooo wrong! lol
 
Re: If your easily offended stay away from this post. 16+

Originally posted by Zander8472


Very funny pictures.
Before looking at these beware! These are 16+ pictures. cause some have swearing.

Big Mouse
Morning Breath
Stressed
Bad Dog!
Windows features 1
windows features 2
Cute Baby
don't #### up the landing
Hair dryer please
Baby Moses

I though these were hilarious! sorry if you didn't. I did warn, so I hope I;m not violating any rules. I'll have some better stuff tomorrow.
Click to expand...
very funny ive seen those before!!!
 
omg ladykaos28 I love the picture of the monkeys lol there so cute.
 
i have jokes!
why did the chicken cross the road?
so people would wonder why he did! hahahah i made that up cant you tell?


one day two muffins were in an oven and muffin1 turned to muffin2 and said " boy its hot in here!" then muffin2 said " aghhhhhhhh a talking muffin!!!!!" lol i probably told it wrong but its all good!
 
hahahah cute lol I love the cat and the beer!!!!

Here:
Mama tomato and baby tomato were crosing the road then the mama tomato gets mad at her son and steps on him causing him to smush...'Catchup you idiot'

A blonde gets locked in a grocery store and starves to death.

What do you call a bunch of dlondes ear to ear?.....an air tunnel.

(Two boys tied to a chair and there moms and friends are standing around)
Mom1: You two are going to America for summer school since you are both bad students.
Mom2: You will faill your senor year if you dont.
Boy1: I DONT WANT TO GO TO AMERICA..WAAAAAHHHHHHHH
Boy2: Yeah we dont even speak french!!!
(the whole rooms falls bown and start to laugh)

HAHAHAHAH I know not all that funny lol
 
a blonde is walking down the street with her new born baby, an old high skool friend approaches her and says
"awww the cute baby, how old is he?"
"6 weeks " the blonde replies, joyfully
"whats his name?" her friend asks
the blonde responds:
"i dont know.. he doesnt speak yet!"
 
Two cows were talking in the field. One cow says, "Have you heard about the Mad Cow disease that's going around?"
The other cow answers, "Yeah, makes you glad you're a penguin, doesn't it?"


😀
 
Hehehe. funny Jacklyn.

I kinda lost heart for this but heres one....

My wife, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so she would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood it she'll buy me a diamond!!!!

this joke was supposed to be told by a women about a man, so I changed it around. I;m not really a woman beater. ...and I don't have a wife.
 
Zander that is confussing your way!
You guys crack me up so bad I love blonde jokes the best!
If you ever watcch this show called Rove[live] its got all this funny pictures and stuff that people send in and its pritty funny! They post the pictures on the net sometimes and heres the address to it!

http://www.rove.com.au/whatthe/current/[URL]
 
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