Joke time! oh yeah, and rated pg13 at least lol

okay okay i have a few really bad but strangely funny jokes.

1. What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?

DAM!!!

2. What is the difference between a Duck and a Bucket?

They both have handles, except for the duck.

3. Two blondes walk into a building. You'd think at least one of them had seen it.

there i know that they were really bad but oh ell hehehe 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 ROFL ROFL
 
Blonde, Brunette, and Redhead walk into a bar. The Bartender tells them that if they look into the mirror in the bathroom and tell the truth, they will be rewarded w/ something, but if you lie, you vanish. So, the Brunette walks in and looks into the mirror, and says "I think I'm the prettiest girl here" and she gets a million dollars. The Redhead walks in and says "I think I'm the smartest one here" and she gets the keys to a mustang(or whatever kind of car you want it to be). The blonde walks in and looks into the mirror and says "I think..." puff, she vanishes
 
😀 I have another bar one but I can't remember it exactly, but it went something like this:

2 men were sitting at a bar. Guy one picked up his drink, chugged it all down, and jumped out the window. Guy 2 watched on horrified, and asked for a drink. Guy one comes back up to the bar minutes later, orders a drink, drinks it and jumps out the window again. Guy 2 stares there in shock, trying to figure out how he's doing it. So, when Guy 1 returns and orders another drink, Guy 2 goes over to him and asks "How are you able to do that?" Guy 1 "well, I take a drink, and jump out the window, land on the ground and repeat..." Guy 2 orders the same drink as Guy 1 and jumps out the window. The bartender looks at Guy 1 and says "That's mean Superman!"
 
Right i've got some:

What did the man say when he walked into the bar?
OUCH!

Two fish are sitting on a perch. One says to the other: "Do you smell fish?"

now for some blonde jokes: (BTW, i'm blonde!)

A blonde and a brunnette jump off a cliff. Who lands first?
The brunette - the blonde has to stop and ask for directions!

How do you know if a blonde's been at your computer?
There's Tipp-Ex on the screen

How do you know if another blonde's been at your computer?
There's writing on the Tipp-Ex

How do you know if a 3rd blonde's been at your computer?
A piece of cheese has been left near the mouse

Now some dirtier jokes:

How do you make a hormone?
Refuse to pay her!

What do you call a prostitute with no arms and legs?
A cash and carry!

What do you call a sheep tied to a fence?
A leisure centre!

And i'm spent!
 
3 men are stranded on an island. The first looks up at the sky and says "God, I wish you would grant me the power to swim across this lake." and puff, he swims across the lake. The second looks up and says "God, I wish you would grant me the power to sail across this lake" and he builds a boat and sails across the lake. The third looks up and says "God, I wish you would grant me the power to get off of this island the fastest" and puff, he gets turned into a woman and walks across the bridge. 😀
 
gotta hand it to you guys, you know how to make me laugh 😀

got anymore jokes??
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom