Need Advice

Captain Malcolm Reynolds

You can't take the sky from me
Joined
Sep 21, 2003
Messages
223
Age
39
Location
Spikes Crypt
Black Thorn
Hey I was going out with this really cool guy untill today. Every thing was going good then for no apparent reason he dumps me. He gave me no explanation or anything. I love him so much. Nothing happened between us to make him want to leave me so I have no idea why he did that. When I asked him for a reason he didn't tell me. I don't want to let him go without a fight but this guy is like a brother to me. He stoped me from slitting my wrists but now i think i might do it again due to him. I don't know what I should do. Should I give up on the guy or keep trying to get him to see what he is giving up and try to get back with him. Please help me. PM me or post here either one.
 
I'm so sorry.

But no guy is worth hurting yourself over.
I know it hurts but you've gotta tell yourself you better of w/ out him.
If he is that big a jerk to let you go for no reason he is not worth fighting for.
If he really loved you he wouldn't leave you. You will hurt for a while but it will get better.

This is what my best friend told me when my boyfriend broke up w/ me. And it worked

So I hope that helped.
 
First off, don't slit ur wrist, no guy is hot or cool enough to kill urself over!

Possible reason for dumping you:
> He just used you (for sex or to get popular), guys are like this!
In this case, forget about the guy, he's not even worth remembering one second.
> He's influenced by his environment, people told him to brake up.
In this case, he's a weak persona, if he really truly loved you, cause if he did, he would have sticked up for you.
> He realized he didn't love you enough or loved someone else more.
In this case, there's nothing really wrong, it'll hurt, but the pain will go away. It's for the better to not date anymore. And the fact that he didn't want to tell, is because he's either embarresed or afraid to hurt you.

In any way, sure you can try and find out why this happened, but don't over do it, don't get obsessed, he's JUST a guy ... there's over 3 billion others.

One question: How long did you guys go out?
 
I understand you might be hurting right now, but I do agree with the others. NOBODY is worth your life. People are people. You both might be great people and perhaps he had no real reason for leaving you. I have learned that even though two people might really enjoy or love one another, it does not necessarily mean that you are meant to be "together" in that way.

Look at it as a great experience and let yourself heal. There will be another that you will connect or fall in love with. There is somebody for everybody! You are young and there are endless possibilites still available.
 
you should defiently forget him, and its DEFINETLY not worth hurting yourself over, i know this will sound stupid now, but there are tons of other better guys for you out there, forget about this one
 
just don't kill yourself...accept that you and he are no longer bf/gf....then let the feelings work themselves out...
 
please dont hurt yourself!!!! if we cant convince, maybe you need some serious help please just dont hurt yourself
 
I agree with all of these wise peoples.
Really, this guy, not worth your time let alone your life.
Think long and hard about who IS worth a struggle like family and friends...people who truely love you...never do something like that to them. It's not right. It sounds like there are definately underlying issues with you and your past. I would find someone to talk to about things. I've been there hon. Most people have. As someone who took the cutting issue to a severe level less than 6 years ago let me tell you that I couldn't see the light then. I ended up hurting a lot of people I loved and I've never gotten over what it did to my mom. If I had succeded I would not be waking up every day to a guy that does love me and two kids that make me happier than I could even express. My point is I think whatever issues you are dealing with at any point there is always someone that can help you through. There is always a REASON to try again. Even if you can't see it now. Give it time...you will. But yeah, to hell with that j@ck@ss. He won't even be a blip on your radar screen one day...Chin up sweetie. There is always something new around the bend.
 
I really think that no guy is ever worth killing yourself over. If he won't talk to you, fine, go and meet some new people.
 
Thanks you guys. I talked it over with him and i got a reason out of him. It was because I was obsessing over him and it freaked him out. We may never get back together but if not then we will still be friends. I thank you all for the advice and love you all from the bottom of my broken heart. (lol) 😛 I am so glad that i stayed alive.
 
i agree with all of the above! no one is worth losing your life! i know it's painful now, but it'll get better! i promise! just take your time and take care of yourself! (Just let yourself heal!) don't kill yourself... i bet you'll find some one else in time who ia twice the Bf that he is!(even though this might not be to big help: it's his loss, he is the one missingout! )

Allycat: very good points!
 
Hey, SpikeLuva. Wanna know a neat trick for dealing with obsession? Here's one I read in a self-help book somewhere. Can't remember where, but it seems to work.

Basically what you want to do is redirect the energy outward in as many directions as possible.

It goes like this. You go to the corner store and there's a grumpy little asian lady at the counter, who doesn't speak very good english. Usually you just write her off. You make your purchase exchange grunts and walk away.

Don't to that any more. Watch her. Listen to her. Find something you like about her, and comment on it.

Same thing with the nerd at school, or the little brother you hate. Force yourself to watch them, and listen, and take an interest in them.

After a while something cool starts to happen, because this doesn't just apply to people you'd otherwise ignore. It applies to anyone. You can walk up to the A-class dudes of dudes, and treat them the same way. If they don't like it, so what? Your not treating them any differently than the way you treat, a little old lady, who hardly speaks any english.

After a while it will shock you how interesting life gets. Opportunities open up from directions you'd never expect.

It's hard to force yourself to watch and listen to people you'd just as soon pretend weren't there, or people you don't feel your class in the pecking order allows you talk to, but worth it. Not only does it create fun, eventually it gives you a feeling of power.

Basically all you're going to do is teach yourself to flirt with anyone, and everyone. Don't take anyone too seriously, but care about everyone. Practice on your pet. Give a damn what Snoopy the dog is feeling at that particular moment, then walk away to try it on your family, and so on...

It's kind of cold, but if you're obsessed with everyone, you can walk away from anyone.

So spread your smiles around. Try it for a month, and if I'm wrong, sue me.
 
Aww,SpikeLuva,poor you,NO guy is worth doing something like that -EVER-been there,not fun....dont do anything youll regret
 
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