I cried for fifteen minutes straight after this ep. Not happy grief release tears. terrible, terrible pain that has not healed over the months. I gotta face it.
I absolutley loved BTVS especially season 5, 6, and 7 right up to the last ep and never thought I would ever be writing these words. But I think there might be something cruel about Joss and his worldview.
What does the success of a whole season matter if you rip someone heart out on purpose and with a smile on your face? He admitted in an interview that he loved killin' folks.
(aka Lucy pulling the football from Charlie Brown) Those terrible 8 words Spike said--all love is different from each other. No one loves two people in the same way--but to dangle that hope and drop kick Spike once again--petty and...a lie, a metaphysical lie.
She doesn't have to love Spike in the same way as Angel--but it can still be reciprocated. There is no such thing as 'one true love.' Only willingness and the unwilling. If you doubt me--lets hook up again in ten years. You don't have to be ancient to have life experiance--to love and love again. This is lifes truth. And shame on BTVS after those wonderful years to bowing to simplistic fairy tale nonsense that helps no one understand life any better.
And, to have these warriors, these survivors stand at the edge of the crater that contained the dead bodies of thier friends and comrades and smile and make souless quips about missing stores was obsene.
I've spent months trying to let it go, trying to heal, I went on the internet for the first time ever to see what other people were feeling and found many, many who agree, there is not ONE person I know that enjoyed that ending.
So--i was letting it go, trying to give 'Angel' a chance to prove me wrong, and then a few weeks ago i was in New York and accidently found myself at the edge of 'the site' And this automatic viseral quaking of grief began somewhere deep indside me. Not in my mind, or heart even, but just because I am a human being, and to be human puts one in empathy with other humans. This is what it is.
You can not stand at the edge of a crater that contains the dust of fellows and smile and joke.
It. Could. Not. Happen.
How could Joss be ignorant of this?
I'm trying hard to forgive him, I really am--but what was he thinking?
It scares me that he could be so shallow.
And now my voice that use to sing his praises has bcome the disembler. I have to say these things--because someone should. It should be on record. I am really very supportive of my friends who try to create somehting in this world and my fellow writers--but misuse of power, using storytelling to hurt people is...in a catagory close to...well...evil.
I still hope that is was just a terrible ignornant miscalculation--but how can he live so far away from the heart to write that?
sorry for the downer vibe, but I really feel I had to say this.
the disembler.