Sexual Orientation

[Tueuse de Vampires]

Hi people :heart:

I was wondering what everyone's sexual orientation was? Vote on the poll pls (I somehow like statistic data way too much, lol)
And I was wondering about something else. It always seemed to me that the Buffy fanbase was way more open-minded about things like this than the average person in our society. Why is that? This may sound strange and i'm confusing myself with this question, but is it that people who are more open-minded watch the show because it's so open-minded or has the show made people more open-minded and tolerant on this topic?

 

[Crazy Flakes]

I definitely think Buffy has made people way more open-minded. In fact, sometimes, I get irked when people make anti-gay comments (even though I'm straight.) We can thank Willow and Tara for that...they were definitely one of the best (if not THE best), most realistic, and most loving Buffyverse couples. And I know it's helped a lot of people, men and women alike, discover their sexuality. It's nice to know that a TV show has made people so much more open-minded...well, then again, Buffy isn't just a regular old TV show.

 

[Edmund Blackadder]

I absolutely disagree that Buffy has made people more open minded.
I think Genre shows by their very definition draw in a far more open minded group of people.

I think the most magnificent moment of genre TV that proves this point is the Kirk-Uhura kiss.

Gay and Lesbian couples have been realistically detailed in numerous TV shows, it just happens that this is the one that you watch, this is your favourite one.

I do not for one second believe that Willow and Tara made anyone 'tolerant' of Gay and Lesbian, it may have made people understand it a bit more HOWEVER, if you were anti-gay before it, you still would be.

 

[Lyri]

I don't know if watching BTVS has made me more open minded than I might have been. I've had gay/bi friends since I was in my early teens (my friends seem to have come out at a very early age! lol) But I think it's made me more open to being open minded, if that makes sense, which I don't think it does.

I think, by watching the shows (and now, reading the comics), I'm less likely to force labels on people, and put them in boxes. People are just people, no matter what sexuality they are.

 

[Lou]

MAN BoTD, I was once again SO CLOSE to agreeing. I agreed with everything up to the end.

But, I KNOW Willow and Tara have made a few people more tolerant, even if they are under 4 feet tall. Granted, they haven't had much exposure, but my kids (and my niece, who was VERY MUCH against the whole idea the first time she discussed it with my daughter) have learned a LOT from Willow and Tara. If only to just accept love for where and what it is.
It's not as if they're exposed to much "gayness" on TV. I will admit that. Unless you count the insanity that surrounds the Teletubbies. But, Willow and Tara were just so seemless about the whole thing that they couldn't help but just accept that, although not what they were used to, it just was.
I'm not sure many shows or actors portray things the way they did.

Everything else, I can agree.

 

[JCC]

Pansexual. I am attracted to beautiful people, male, female, androgynous, transgender. People of physical and mental beauty.

 

[Edmund Blackadder]

MAN BoTD, I was once again SO CLOSE to agreeing. I agreed with everything up to the end.

But, I KNOW Willow and Tara have made a few people more tolerant, even if they are under 4 feet tall. Granted, they haven't had much exposure, but my kids (and my niece, who was VERY MUCH against the whole idea the first time she discussed it with my daughter) have learned a LOT from Willow and Tara. If only to just accept love for where and what it is.
It's not as if they're exposed to much "gayness" on TV. I will admit that. Unless you count the insanity that surrounds the Teletubbies. But, Willow and Tara were just so seemless about the whole thing that they couldn't help but just accept that, although not what they were used to, it just was.
I'm not sure many shows or actors portray things the way they did.

Everything else, I can agree.

See you actually back up my point. These sound like tolerant people, not that one particular relationship influenced that tolerance. If they were totally Anti-Gay before, then they still would be.

I didn't say that Tara and Willow didn't help educate people in what a loving homosexual relationship could be, I said it wouldn't affect the tolerance.

Although, again the ages of your lil uns could have been a factor.

Going back to my original comment, it isn't that the shows make people open minded, it is that generally people with an open mind are open to shows like this.

Just because your children/niece didn't understand something and Buffy helped educate them, doesn't mean their tolerance and open-mindedness increased because of it, it simply means they were willing and able to be the kind of people that don't generally cave in to prejudice.

Edit:

Pansexual. I am attracted to beautiful people, male, female, androgynous, transgender. People of physical and mental beauty.

What a crock of crap.

Simply put - 'I'm attracted to anyone that will have me and I will define beauty as something I am attracted to, but basically just whomever will sleep with me.'

I'm actually one of the people that hates labels. A label gives something power, it also gives someone else power to use against you as a weapon.

There is only one name for what I am, and that was given to me by another human - I am Alister Jack Cooling.

There should be no barriers to love, it should be something that you share with anyone, regardless of gender, age, race, creed, colour, looks, personality.

You should be willing to just love for the sake of love and nothing else.

 

[Lou]

Just because your children/niece didn't understand something and Buffy helped educate them, doesn't mean their tolerance and open-mindedness increased because of it, it simply means they were willing and able to be the kind of people that don't generally cave in to prejudice.

Only part right.
They're used to the "norm". Mommies and Daddies. The Princess and the Prince. Buffy DID help educate them, but their open-mindedness DID increase because of it, because they're minds certainly weren't open to it before.
They weren't (at least mine weren't) bigots or anything. They're little. But, they had asked a lot of questions about my friends John and Phil and had always ended the conversations with their little faces cinched up like, "Yeah, okay. Whatever. Something's wrong here." It wasn't HARD questions, just ones like, "Does John have a girlfriend? Why doesn't he have a girlfriend?" And John and Phil always were very good about it and would say they liked living together. They weren't really EXPOSED to it and we'd blow it off like how my brother has a roommate. But, they seemed to get that this was somehow different.

Then, after Buffy, they seemed to "get it". They haven't SEEN John and Phil since, but they've brought it up a couple of times. Willow and Tara certainly educated them and opened their minds in a way that they NORMALLY wouldn't have grasped.
Besides, most intolerance comes from not understanding. Once you really "get it" the intolerance lessens. You may not change your mind, but it does lessen.

 

[Evilyn]

I am a bi sexual female. I have accepted that label for my sexual orientation, because giving it a label helps other people understand why, throughout my life, I've had girlfriends and boyfriends. The label is not for me, it's for other people. The age old, 'people fear what they do not understand' comes into play here. Not everyone is open minded enough or has enough heart to understand love for what it truly is, be it between two men, two women, or a man and a woman. So for statistical purposes, I'm a bi sexual female.

If I were describing myself openly, I would say that I love people. Even though I really hate them a lot of the time, for their close mindedness and stupidity, I still love them. I guess that's why it hurts me so much whenever some awful human on human crime happens. How is it that a being, that is part of this species I hold so dear, could do something so awful?

Labeling oneself as gay or bisexual is also helpful for those in their teenage years that don't quite understand the feelings they are having. While I agree that giving something a label gives it power, it also gives one knowledge. And after all, knowledge is power and not all power is absolute, I believe that educating yourself gives you strength, strength you wouldn't have otherwise without that label. The label that gave you knowledge and power of yourself.

Did that make any sense?

 

[InsaneMystic]

I clicked "other". While I'm very secure that I'm into women, I have SPADES of gender issues, so I get angry whenever someone classifies me as a "straight male" (especially since, personally, I freak out at the thought of any kind of sexual act involving male anatomy). Still, I fully understand that people tend to give me very odd looks when I tell them the label I'd feel most comfy with for myself would be "lesbian of unspecified gender".
Anyway, now well, if this isn't "other", what would be? :alien::nana:

Now I'm not really sure about this opening of minds thing. I, naturally, was open to "nonstandard" sexual orientation to start out with, and so were the people close enough to me to be discussing anything with, including a certain outstandingly well made TV show... so I'm not really in a position to say whether this show changed anyone's mind or not. I just know that I was happy to see non-straight love happening on Buffy (and in my fave character's life, too!), and how it was hardly ever made an issue in the show, and just happened naturally.

 

[ILLYRIAN]

Gay, lesbian, homosexuals, who cares what they are called. I don't. As long as I don't get it thrust in my face when I don't want it. If that's the way they want to live their lives that's up to them.
Me? I'm celebate, have been for over ten years, but it was my choice, if others want to put labels on me, they can.

Did the series put lesbianism on the front page ? to some people, maybe. I dare say some people became a bit more acceptable, some may have thought ho-hum. No doubt the more religiously intolerant saw it as our society falling to ruin,........again.
Now if the evil trio had got together that may have been an eye opener. But two girls together on the tv, not exactly new.

 

[TabulaRasa]

Everyone here knows that I want to date SMG right? Ok, just making sure.

 

[Tru Mackney]

I'm a bisexual woman. I've been attracted to people of both the male and female sex. I believe that love isn't just for a man and a woman. It's for a woman and a woman or a man and a man. It shouldn't be for just one group of people. I believe that we all have someone out in the universe that we're ment to be with, and it shouldn't matter whether they're male or female. All that matters is that you both love each other more than anything.

 

[anyatara]

I'm bi. People say I'm to young to know that, but I know I am. Buffy definatly made *me* more open minded, 'cause I loved the Willow/Tara relationship so much, and before I just didn't get relationships that weren't heterosexual (This was when I was, like, seven) so, I think it can make people more open minded, but not necessarily.

 

[Dancing man]

I clicked straight as thats what I am, but im very openminded on bi and gay. I have a few friends male and female that are bi or gay.

 

[JCC]

Simply put - 'I'm attracted to anyone that will have me and I will define beauty as something I am attracted to, but basically just whomever will sleep with me.'

I'm actually one of the people that hates labels. A label gives something power, it also gives someone else power to use against you as a weapon.

There is only one name for what I am, and that was given to me by another human - I am Alister Jack Cooling.

There should be no barriers to love, it should be something that you share with anyone, regardless of gender, age, race, creed, colour, looks, personality.

You should be willing to just love for the sake of love and nothing else.

So... you're saying that we should love who we love regardless of anything else?

... And I said that people are beautiful regardless of anything else, physically AND mentally, and mental beauty would of course, theoretically, lead to love?

And you said it was wrong?

Do you have a valid point, or are you playing Devil's Advocate?

Oh wait, no, I realised that you're one of those 'no-label' people who stick it to the reductionist majority (though labels of sexuality are just there to make things easier, not to demean the humanity of a person anyway).

I'm sure that will set you in good stead when a form asks you for your sexual orientation.

 

[Bangelxx]

I voted straight although, watching BtVS has made me much more open minded then before, because I love Willow/Tara so much!

 

[The Chosen]

I hit the straight button, although like lots of other people here I think Buffy's made me WAY more open minded. Go Buffy. :woot:

 

[Edmund Blackadder]

Only part right.
They're used to the "norm". Mommies and Daddies. The Princess and the Prince. Buffy DID help educate them, but their open-mindedness DID increase because of it, because they're minds certainly weren't open to it before.
They weren't (at least mine weren't) bigots or anything. They're little. But, they had asked a lot of questions about my friends John and Phil and had always ended the conversations with their little faces cinched up like, "Yeah, okay. Whatever. Something's wrong here." It wasn't HARD questions, just ones like, "Does John have a girlfriend? Why doesn't he have a girlfriend?" And John and Phil always were very good about it and would say they liked living together. They weren't really EXPOSED to it and we'd blow it off like how my brother has a roommate. But, they seemed to get that this was somehow different.

Then, after Buffy, they seemed to "get it". They haven't SEEN John and Phil since, but they've brought it up a couple of times. Willow and Tara certainly educated them and opened their minds in a way that they NORMALLY wouldn't have grasped.
Besides, most intolerance comes from not understanding. Once you really "get it" the intolerance lessens. You may not change your mind, but it does lessen.

You're mistaking open mindedness on a subject and the ability to be open minded.
They didn't understand a gay relationship because, quite frankly, their parents didn't explain it to them. When it was explained they accepted because they have the ability to be open minded. They accepted the 'norm' because they were never told otherwise - note this isn't an attack on parenting, indeed or yours, this is just one of those things that you have to explain to a young person when the time is right.

I will argue to the death that everything you are saying shows that your children had the ability to be open minded and that came into play with the Willow/Tara story line. They didn't become more open minded as that is something you.

I clicked "other". While I'm very secure that I'm into women, I have SPADES of gender issues, so I get angry whenever someone classifies me as a "straight male" (especially since, personally, I freak out at the thought of any kind of sexual act involving male anatomy). Still, I fully understand that people tend to give me very odd looks when I tell them the label I'd feel most comfy with for myself would be "lesbian of unspecified gender".
Anyway, now well, if this isn't "other", what would be? :alien::nana:

Why do you get angry if people call you a straight male?

If you find the idea of sexual intercourse with a fellow chap and you're very secure with your love of the ladies then surely its not a completely inaccurate 'label' if you are to be labelled.

Unless of course your gender issues make you feel like a woman inside,

Are you a Transvestite, pre/post op Transexual/gender?

If not then I really don't understand why you get angry at being referred to as being a straight male.

Everyone here knows that I want to date SMG right? Ok, just making sure.

Really?!?!
Me too - what a coinky-dink

I'm bi. People say I'm to young to know that, but I know I am. Buffy definatly made *me* more open minded, 'cause I loved the Willow/Tara relationship so much, and before I just didn't get relationships that weren't heterosexual (This was when I was, like, seven) so, I think it can make people more open minded, but not necessarily.

You're not too young to 'be' however I would suggest to you that maybe you're not quite sure and fully understand the implications of that entire area.

I know this might shock people, but in my early 20's I was a support Counsellor at a group in Yorkshire called 'Mesmac' that dealt with people aged 14-26 who believed themselves to be Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans and alot of times people claim bisexuality but in fact, they aren't, they just, interestingly, don't realise it.

So... you're saying that we should love who we love regardless of anything else?

... And I said that people are beautiful regardless of anything else, physically AND mentally, and mental beauty would of course, theoretically, lead to love?

And you said it was wrong?

Do you have a valid point, or are you playing Devil's Advocate?

Oh wait, no, I realised that you're one of those 'no-label' people who stick it to the reductionist majority (though labels of sexuality are just there to make things easier, not to demean the humanity of a person anyway).

I'm sure that will set you in good stead when a form asks you for your sexual orientation.

What you actually did was put parameters/barriers on who you find would love.

You placed aesthetics as part of it. That is, in my opnion, wrong, because the moment you limit who you are willing to be attracted to, you limit yourself.

Doesn't matter what that limit is, you're not allowing yourself to really love anyone.

You didn't say that people were beautiful regardless, you said you were attracted to physical and mental beauty.

There is a difference.

Oh wait, no, I realised that you're one of those 'no-label' people who stick it to the reductionist majority (though labels of sexuality are just there to make things easier, not to demean the humanity of a person anyway.

I'm sure that will set you in good stead when a form asks you for your sexual orientation.

As for this, you have no idea who I am. I have my opinions but I am far from someone who 'sticks it to the reductionist majority'. Fact is other people need labels to live their lives, but I don't. I am me and thats all I need to know.

As for the 'forms' well in this country there are no forms of any worth that need sexual preference.

Job Applications, Medical, Housing, Loans/grants, business - none of these have to know your sexual preference/orientation so you don't generally have a box to tick, and any others that have these boxes either don't have to know so you don't have to answer them.

If you believe that people are beautiful because of what is inside as opposed to outside, then you're on a winner.

Also, there are differing kinds of intelligence as well. Some people lack book smarts but have a wonderfully high emotional intelligence - so don't limit yourself there either.

 

[JCC]

What you actually did was put parameters/barriers on who you find would love.

You placed aesthetics as part of it. That is, in my opnion, wrong, because the moment you limit who you are willing to be attracted to, you limit yourself.

Doesn't matter what that limit is, you're not allowing yourself to really love anyone.

You didn't say that people were beautiful regardless, you said you were attracted to physical and mental beauty.

There is a difference.

As for this, you have no idea who I am. I have my opinions but I am far from someone who 'sticks it to the reductionist majority'. Fact is other people need labels to live their lives, but I don't. I am me and thats all I need to know.

As for the 'forms' well in this country there are no forms of any worth that need sexual preference.

Job Applications, Medical, Housing, Loans/grants, business - none of these have to know your sexual preference/orientation so you don't generally have a box to tick, and any others that have these boxes either don't have to know so you don't have to answer them.

I didn't mean that someone needs to be physically beautiful for me to fall in love with them (though I find beauty in most people anyway. The human form is a beautiful thing), merely that I can feel attracted to someone physically no matter their gender, race, creed et cetera. I in no way meant that physical beauty is required for me to fall in love with someone, and if that's how it came across, then I apologise. Obviously, aesthetics help in matters of love. Nobody can say that they completely look past what people look like, because that's a bare-faced lie. But it's certainly not a rule.

Labels aren't there for the weak to feel part of a group. In my perfect world, there wouldn't be labels. Unfortunately, my perfect world is not your perfect world and it's not the perfect world of Joe Hawkins down the street. Pansexual is hardly a label at all, it's the way of saying 'liberal'. I don't care about any extenuating circumstance when it comes to people. If I love you, I love you. If I'm sexually attracted to you, I'm sexually attracted to you.

But yeah - I'm sorry if it came across that someone needs to be physically beautiful for me to love them, that's not the case.