Sydney police called on a domestic dispute

Skanky Vamp

Sniffin' the Slayer
Joined
Aug 12, 2008
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Black Thorn
At about 2am on Sunday, residents in the suburb of Wollstonecraft called in about a woman screaming and a man yelling: ‘I’m going to kill you, you’re dead’. They also reported about the sounds of furniture being thrown.

Authorities rushed to the scene and was soon greeted by a man with a can of bug spray in hand. The following is the transcript of the conversation between the police and the misunderstood guy.

Police: ‘Where’s your wife?’
Male: ‘Umm I don’t have one’.
Police: ‘Where your girlfriend?’
Male: ‘Umm I don’t have one’.
Police: ‘We had a report of a domestic and a women screaming, where is she?”
Male: ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about, I live alone’.
Police: ‘Come on mate people clearly heard you yelling you were going to kill her and furniture getting thrown around the unit’.
Here’s where it gets hilarious.

Police: ‘Come on mate, what have you done to her’.
Male: ‘It was a spider’.
Police ‘Sorry??’
Male: ‘It was a spider, a really big one!!’
Police: ‘What about the women screaming?’
Male: ‘Yeah sorry that was me, I really really hate spiders’.

The policemen then took a look around the apartment and indeed, only the spider was hurt in the fracas.
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That's funny. I'd be too scared to throw furniture at that big guy though, incase he threw it right back.
 
And the best bit, that was the spiders son protecting his mum. If you could see the size of her!!!
 
Is this the Grimslaw demon spider from Selfless? Not the largest spider I have seen, but in Australia, you are on your own and all of the fauna is trying to kill you:

australia-spider-snake-drop-bear-octopus-australia-demotivational-poster-1272870508.jpg
 
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