Ah, I see. We're making excuses for Xander's attempted rape of Buffy by claiming that "it wasn't really him".
That's not an excuse, that's the truth. Do you believe that Xander would have raped Buffy, ate an uncooked pig and treated Willow like dirt if he wasn't possessed?
Ri-i-i-i-ght. I'm sorry if I find that hard to believe. Personally, I suspect that the possession merely brought out Xander's darker side or simply lifted the restraints. After all, he DID want Buffy, regardless of whether he was possessed or not.
But a possessed Xander is not the same as a souless Spike. Hmmm . . . I still find that hard to believe.
I'm too disgusted beyond words.
Okay, I know your love for Spike is speaking for you, and hey, Spike is my second favorite character and if I'd compare him with another character it'll be Angel. We say Angel isn't to be blamed for what Angelus had done, then Souled Spike isn't to be blamed for what Soulless Spike had done.
Spike's situation isn't the same as Xander's, simply because Spike WAS'T possessed when he tried to rape Buffy. He was the same Spike we knew from S2 to S6, no possession or anything taking control of his actions.
Now Xander wanted Buffy, but that doesn't mean he's gonna rape her if he gets a chance, we've seen Xander getting his chance in BB&B, but he didn't rape her.
You can't blame a possessed guy for the things he did while possessed, it's like blaming Jenny for trying to kill Giles when possessed or blaming Spike for killing those people when he'd been controlled by The First.
If you wanna blame Xander for something, how about ditching Anya at the altar or summoning Sweet, because he did those things without being possessed. So they're fair accusations.