He was joking. While there MAY have been a passive aggressive element to it, he was cracking jokes as he did through the episode, and as he does from seasons 1 to 7, often at his own expense as well as at the expense of others, but nearly always making fun of a dire situation or some other sort of gallows humor, as that's how he dealt with stress. Granted, there were other times he was a jerk (as they all were at one time or another, as Cordelia was to him in this episode), but saying that was his revenge fantasy is too much of a leap for me.
Agreed. I also think this could be interpreted as what Xander thinks a long-term relationship would turn out like aka like his parents' marriage. We know he had those worries in season 6 and it seems he's projecting in regards to Buffy and Angel. Xander dreams of flying in and saving the day and helping Buffy escape that scenario, possibly because he dreams of escaping that scenario in regards to his parents (and he wants to look like a hero for Buffy). Xander's Parents' marriage would've been Xander's first experience of what a relationship looks like and it was not a positive experience. That was bound to affect Xander later in life.
This might have worked better if they had chosen an actor less good looking than NB. TPTB have actually admitted NB was too attractive to play Xander. Early Seasons Xander was quite attractive in the looks department and quite a few found him hotter than DB/Angel.
Attractiveness is less about physical looks and more about personality. You could have a reasonably good looking guy but if he's an absolute arsehole then he's not going to be attractive. Likewise a guy who might not be classically good looking could have a lovely personality and would therefore seem more attractive to a woman than the first guy.
I think NB was a good choice to play Xander. He didn't look like the stereotypical geeky best friend therefore his unpopularity wasn't about how he looked but about who he was as a person.
My main problem with Xander has always been how he treated Buffy like a comic book hero come to life. She was always that hero first and a person second. He had different expectations of her than everyone else. Which is why when she failed his super hero standards things turned nasty. He expects her to be better and make better decisions than us mere mortals.
Xander certainly idealised Buffy as a hero, which is one of his flaws, so in that regard he did have unrealistic expectations of her which is why he struggles to accept her flaws. I think anyone who looks up to somebody struggles with this though, hence the saying "Never meet your idols".
The point isn't about Xander, it's about The Xander, the type of role a white, male character carries out in a female led show. Willow being in love with Xander, which sometimes made Xander look unsympathetic, doesn't make the author's point any less valid.
I think it can't be called "The Xander" unless it is about Xander as the author is suggesting that Xander epitomises the tropes which make up "The Xander". It's like you wouldn't describe "The Angel" as a cheerful, happy go-lucky guy. I think the author is wrong in her interpretation of Xander but to each their own.
I believe that's a reference to "C'mon, Buffy, I couldn't take advantage of you like that. Okay, for a minute, it was touch and go there..." A joke, though I do expect he had an ignoble impulse right along with his better ones.
Agreed. It would've been unrealistic for Xander to not have felt the temptation to give in to his urges when the woman he fancies is asking him to have sex with her especially as he is still a teenager. The point is Xander knew to do so would be wrong and he respected Buffy as a friend not to take advantage of her.
All in all, Xander screwed up big by getting Amy to cast that spell, but he's still a (pretty) good kid (of course he has his flaws), and not some misogynistic sexual predator.
Agreed. Xander makes mistakes, he screws up, but at the end of the day he is still a relatively decent guy who looks out for those he cares about.
Like 'find her, wherever she is, tie her up and torture her' worse.
We have different interpretations of that line. I don't think Spike meant nastily. Dru was into kink and Spike knows what she likes since he'd spent over 100 years with her. Spike isn't stupid, why would hurting Drusilla make her love him?
