Thread for Questions Regarding the Time Out

[Seraphim]

Buffy: And so instead of just drawing harder and harder lines in the sand and playing by the book, you decided to go nuts and just start the pogroms? In what universe is that a good idea? Again, I'm just having trouble wrapping my mind around the idea that the way to get people to behave on the boards is to start random rounds of public executions (as it were). It won't work. If it works, it will be out of fear, not respect, and everyone will either leave the boards or stop enjoying them. :-/

 

[JenniferAlice]

The word 'condescending' springs to mind.

 

[Buffy Summers]

Giving people a 'time out', fair game, call it what it said on the message we received though, a 'ban', but the point is some(read most) of us have active lives, we don't need you to tell us to take time away from something to gain perspective.

I think I do, EB. The pure fact that people sat around all weekend plotting the destruction of BB speaks to the fact that some need to take a step back.

This might have been your world at one point (thats for you to decide) but most of us are only on here when we want to be because we want to meet friends.

That's fine. But being nasty to others can't be a part of it.

Also, if the rumours are true that you had people 'spying' on our facebooks and reporting to you - I feel actually violated.

What?! Are you serious? What good would that do and why would I?[/QUOTE]

You know, most of the people in this group thought this whole thing was fine and dandy when they thought it was just you who would be taking a break. If I had banned you permanently instead of this, I'd be everyone's hero right now. But I wouldn't kow tow to people who wanted to see you unfairly gone, and I won't kow tow to you now either. Everyone is welcome to stay or go as they see fit, but the people who stay are not going to get away with being mean and nasty to each other.

---------- Post added at 01:04 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:02 AM ----------

Buffy: And so instead of just drawing harder and harder lines in the sand and playing by the book, you decided to go nuts and just start the pogroms? In what universe is that a good idea? Again, I'm just having trouble wrapping my mind around the idea that the way to get people to behave on the boards is to start random rounds of public executions (as it were). It won't work. If it works, it will be out of fear, not respect, and everyone will either leave the boards or stop enjoying them. :-/

It's. Three. Days.

Fact of the matter is, people had stopped enjoying them already. That was the problem.

 

[Mesektet Ra]

Giving people a 'time out', fair game, call it what it said on the message we received though, a 'ban', but the point is some(read most) of us have active lives, we don't need you to tell us to take time away from something to gain perspective.

My sentiments exactly. If my recent posts are any indication, my real life is what I've been posting about here the most frequently. I don't take well to people inferring the wrong things about me as person, and for you to tell me my ban was 'for my own good' and that I 'need perspective' is just...insulting. I have a relatively active 'real life', in case you were wondering, which includes a fiancee I'm crazy about and friends I adore and I don't take well to someone telling me I take things on a message board too seriously.

I'm a 22-year-old woman, not a five-year-old child. Basically, I view the bans as you grabbing and arbitrary list of random people and sticking them in a time-out corner, with no other reason for what you're doing besides 'I said so, and it's for your own good.'

Also, something else that rubbed me the wrong way - your response to Floop's offhanded 'cool kids' comment. You said that everyone should be equal - in a Utopian community, maybe this is true. But in any kind of real community, you have hierarchies, groups, people with opinions and people who disagree. It's just how things roll. I've had the feeling for a long time that you're trying to turn the board into a place where 'we all get along, we all love eachother and skip through the fields together', which is just not possible. I'd go into explaining all the billion ways this is not possible, but I think you see my point.

At any rate, if I'm wrong in that assumption, feel free to correct me.

The pure fact that people sat around all weekend plotting the destruction of BB speaks to the fact that some need to take a step back.

The fact that you assume that's all we did for three days shows how out of touch you are with your members. I can speak for myself [and probably a few other people in The 29] when I say it's not about the damn message board - it's about injustice and not sitting back and taking it. We think we were wronged and we have the right to ask questions and make valid points regarding the situation.

 

[Buffy Summers]

The word 'condescending' springs to mind.

In what way?

By the way, what do you care? You'd already left the board. You obviously weren't happy here. Why all of a sudden do you want it to stay the same?

 

[DrusillaRox]

I think I do, EB. The pure fact that people sat around all weekend plotting the destruction of BB speaks to the fact that some need to take a step back.

Why would we do that???

 

[Mozzymandias]

I think I do, EB. The pure fact that people sat around all weekend plotting the destruction of BB speaks to the fact that some need to take a step back.

Sorry, but if you have looked at the post I made in your Welcome Back thread you'll see that some of us have not been plotting the demise of the BuffyBoards. Just saying you know since 'people' implies all those banned.

 

[Buffy Summers]

I've had the feeling for a long time that you're trying to turn the board into a place where 'we all get along, we all love eachother and skip through the fields together', which is just not possible.

It is possible. We had that for a long time.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: if you don't want to be here anymore you are free to leave. It is as simple as that. We can argue about this for the next millenium, but that's really what it comes down to. You either want to be here, and if so WILL treat everyone equally, or you can go somewhere else and have your hierarchy there.

---------- Post added at 01:09 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:08 AM ----------

Why would we do that???

I don't know, but people were making threats toward the board.

 

[BuffyElevated]

WOW, Buffy... Your post directed at EB was just uncalled for. What happened to not singling people out, huh??
And if you think that we all sat around all weekend plotting the demise of your board, think again. This weekend proved that this board is NOT the be-all, end-all of posting boards.

 

[Buffy Summers]

Sorry, but if you have looked at the post I made in your Welcome Back thread you'll see that some of us have not been plotting the demise of the BuffyBoards. Just saying you know since 'people' implies all those banned.

My apologies, some people.

---------- Post added at 01:10 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:10 AM ----------

WOW, Buffy... Your post directed at EB was just uncalled for. What happened to not singling people out, huh??
And if you think that we all sat around all weekend plotting the demise of your board, think again. This weekend proved that this board is NOT the be-all, end-all of posting boards.

GREAT! I'm truly glad for that.

 

[Seraphim]

It's. Three. Days.

Why does this matter? Unjustly doing anything to any member is wrong. It makes no difference if it's three days or three years. It's the principle of the thing! You're still roughing the innocent townsfolk up in order to try and scare the community into behaving the way you want. It makes no difference how much you roughed 'em up -- all the matters is that it was the morally wrong thing to do.

Besides which you've punished people by banning them for, e.g., two days before.

Fact of the matter is, people had stopped enjoying them already. That was the problem.

How does intimidating the entire boards with stormtrooper-esque tactics help members get back to the enjoying part?

 

[DrusillaRox]

I don't know, but people were making threats toward the board.

I never noticed this! Also, I can't imagine anyone here would spend their weekend "plotting the destruction of BB"

Frankly, I wish you'd done this next week. When I could go to the movies 😛

 

[Buffy Summers]

WOW, Buffy... Your post directed at EB was just uncalled for. What happened to not singling people out, huh??
And if you think that we all sat around all weekend plotting the demise of your board, think again. This weekend proved that this board is NOT the be-all, end-all of posting boards.

It's fine. I get it from both sides. I'm too hard, I'm too easy. I punish people too much, I don't punish them enough. I speak in generalizations, I single people out.

---------- Post added at 01:15 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:13 AM ----------

How does intimidating the entire boards with stormtrooper-esque tactics help members get back to the enjoying part?

Really? Stormtrooper-esque tactics?

If I wanted to scare the board into submission, I would have permanently banned a handful of people. Not given them a vacation. I can keep posting again and again that I was trying to help people, and my reasons, but you aren't going to believe it so why keep going around and around?

 

[JenniferAlice]

In what way?

By the way, what do you care? You'd already left the board. You obviously weren't happy here. Why all of a sudden do you want it to stay the same?

By the way, I left the board to sort some real life issues out. I hadn't even been posting, and I come back and I'm banned. It was nothing to do with my "happiness" on the boards. I really don't think you have a clue about what your members think.

Patronising and condescending.

 

[Buffy Summers]

I never noticed this! Also, I can't imagine anyone here would spend their weekend "plotting the destruction of BB"

Frankly, I wish you'd done this next week. When I could go to the movies 😛

lol Well, Dru, if you really want it...maybe I'll ban myself and go see Terminator... 😛

 

[Mesektet Ra]

It is possible. We had that for a long time.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: if you don't want to be here anymore you are free to leave. It is as simple as that. We can argue about this for the next millenium, but that's really what it comes down to. You either want to be here, and if so WILL treat everyone equally, or you can go somewhere else and have your hierarchy there.

I didn't once mention that I wanted to leave the board, first off.

Second off, I think you misunderstood my point. In any community, in real life or online, you have people who disagree. Some people just aren't going to get along. I'm in no way saying that we should have hierarchies within the members on the board, but it's a widely known fact that some people to gravitate towards other people, and away from others. There is nothing wrong with that. People make friends, people make enemies, and as long as people don't vent their bullshit with other members on the board as a whole, everything runs relatively smoothly because that's what happens when you get a group of people together.

 

[Seraphim]

You're right, Buffy. Let's stop the merry-go-round.

In English, we have a word for this type of behavior: Hypocrisy. Or perhaps insanity.

You don't calm your members down by deliberately angering them.

You don't gain respect by being disrespectful.

You don't set a good example through arbitrary harshness.

You don't gain trust by acting without justice and without warning.

You don't discourage bullying by taking random people out in the middle of the night and roughing them up "for the good of the community."

I'm sorry, but people happy under those conditions are cultists, not citizens. I'm out. If that's the level of groupthink this forum demands, I want no part in it.

Ideas are bulletproof.

 

[yellowcrayon]

The pure fact that people sat around all weekend plotting the destruction of BB speaks to the fact that some need to take a step back.

What?! Are you serious? What good would that do and why would I?

I don't know, but people were making threats toward the board.

I am not meaning to point fingers, but the only way you could have known about supposed threats against your board seems to come from Facebook.

I could answer your (I'm assuming rhetorical) question about how it would show you what people really thought, etc., but I know you already know that.

I do have a request. You ask us not to make assumptions about you, so please don't make assumptions about any of us, banned or not banned. Even if you have proof that people were making threats toward the board, airing thinly veiled derogatory statements at those banned will do nothing to heal matters.

 

[atticus]

Threats towards the boards !?
People here love the boards Buffy, it's why they're here. The give opinions, share stories, make friends, and discuss the love of the show.
It's your forum no doubt, but we populate it. And give it life.
It's insulting that you think so little of us, that you would accuse us of trying to damage this place, you seem to be doing the damage yourself.
Your plan to improve the boards, seems to be hurling insults at us, that is if you're not ignoring us.
Nice job.

 

[Buffy Summers]

By the way, I left the board to sort some real life issues out. I hadn't even been posting, and I come back and I'm banned. It was nothing to do with my "happiness" on the boards. I really don't think you have a clue about what your members think.

Patronising and condescending.

Nope, actually, patronizing and condescending would be for me to sit here and feed you guys a bunch of lines about how sorry I am that we did this, when I'm not. I'm sorry if anyone felt hurt, but I'm not sorry that people are choosing to punish themselves by not believing a word I say.