My once reliable brother who helped a lot with my sick dad has given up. He has a new girlfriend and is officially whipped. Haven't seen him in about 4 months. So that's three sister's and one brother to add to the list of people who don't give a crap about dad. I don't like playing the age card but feck it, I'm the youngest how did I end up with all this responsibility. They got to move on and I'm stuck. 🙁 Love my dad but sometimes I want to snap.
I know how painful it can be!
My father suffers from multiple sclerosis, and since I was a kid, I've seen him getting always worse. He can't even feed on his self, or drink, or take medicine, or even go to the loo. He can't walk, can hardly move, and can't hold things.
He is stuck at bed all the time.
My parents are divorced, so my sister and I were sleeping at his appartement one week-end out of two. And I was always the one who had to take care of him because my big sister wouldn't do it.
I had to feed him, make him drink, give him medicine and even sometimes help him going to the loo. I was 13 when my sister stopped seeing him, so I was alone in my pain. It's not easy to have to be the responsible one when you're supposed to be the one that is protected by the oldest.
But this traumatic experience helped me, in a way. It learned me to change my perspective on my little problem, who will never be as serious as being as sick as my father is. Understanding that my problems are not that big, when I think about it, made me have a lot of empathy for people. Also, it helps me being happier in a way, because I'm healthy, I'm not rich but I don't lack anything, I have a home, I have friends. When I'm really down, I think about that, and I think about those who have nothing, or nothing good in their lives. And sure it makes me suffer to see my dad in such a bad shape, but it will never be worse than the way
he feels. My biggest pain is to see people I love in pain while my life is actually not that bad. I know that no matter how hard I suffer, people experiment worse everyday.
And that state of mind comes from the responsabilities I had to have when I was supposed to be worryless.
It may be hard for you, but I hope you'll see things the way I do someday. It won't make it any easier, but it will be sort of easier to accept and that's a start.
