Vent #6

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I've posted about this before... but it's come up again. My father doesn't like me. He loves me, but he doesn't like me. He actually kind of hates me.. and he can't see what a wonderful person I am. For years, I honestly believed him when he told me was a manipulative piece of shit. He would tell me I had alterior motives to things and even if I didn't have those motives consciously, I believed I was a bad enough person to have them subconsciously. Since then, I've realized I'm a good person and if I don't have that motive, I don't have that motive. I'm not out to get my dad or my family and I'm a good enough person to not want to. I am a good, likable person. My dad refuses to see that person. He's got this idea of me in his head and he honestly thinks I'm an awful person. I can't explain how much that hurts. I just wish he knew that I'm not bad and I'm not out to get him or anyone. I'm kind and caring and if I do something that hurts someone else, it's not intentional and I'm always sorry. I just don't think there's anything I can do to convince him of that.

---------- Post added at 08:51 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:52 PM ----------

NL197 agrees: If there isn't anything you can do to show him, then I'm sorry but he can shove it. If he's so blind that he can't see the good in his own daughter, he doesn't deserve your efforts. What you've just said proves you're a far better person than he is.
Thank you so much for this. That just... Thank you.
 
T
This Year's Girl
I'm sorry to hear that Zoë. You really are a great person. I hope your father will learn to appriciate you for the awesome girl you are. :heart:
N
NL197
If there isn't anything you can do to show him, then I'm sorry but he can shove it. If he's so blind that he can't see the good in his own daughter, he doesn't deserve your efforts. What you've just said proves you're a far better person than he is.
M
Marisa
You are great and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I really hope your father comes around.
Washburne
Washburne
Hope you know how great we think you are. *hugs* I won't say that your dad is a bad person but something is wrong and I hope you can concentrate on yourself and if he can't appriciate it then it's not something you can do.
Just lost my job 🙁

Technically I didn't get fired or lose it. They just decided not to extend my probation.

I'm feeling so shaken up.

Had myself a nice little panic attack when they told me.
 
Washburne
Washburne
That sucks. Been there, done that. Hope you find something to cheer you up soon be it a new job or something else.
Taake
Taake
oh sucko! I'm sorry, dear.
D
dan k
really sorry to hear that, hope you find something soon
W
Willow My Love
Cait, I'm so sorry!!!
M
Marisa
Ah man Cait I am so sorry I hope everything works out.
I got two cracked ribs and it hurts like... well lets just say it hurts a lot with like every move you make 🙁
 
D
dan k
sounds painful can you take anything for the pain?
Z
zobothehobo
OUCH! I hope they heal quickly!
T
This Year's Girl
oh no! What happened?
W
Willow My Love
I've had that happen... Elbowed in the back really hard... I hope they heal quickly! Not much they can do for them...
It hit me today that even though I live in hall with nearly 100 other people, I've never felt more alone in my life. I still haven't made any friends here yet and I've lost any motivation to go about making any now everyone's formed their groups. My best friend who is also in the same city but at another uni has completely cut herself off from me which doesn't help. Plus a lot of people seem to know so much more than I do, even though I read loads. It's unsettling being around people who believe they're smarter than me. It sounds full of myself but I'm not used to it, I hate feeling so inferior.

So yeah, I want to go home.
 
X
xfivebyfive
I felt the same way my first year at college you're not alone *hugs*
S
StarSlayer
Same here. 1st year of college for me sucked. Hang in there! *hugs*
N
NL197
Seems to be a universal experience, even in regular school it can be like that. The know-it-alls got to me too...it got to be annoying after a time (just wanting to tell them to stuff it sometimes!)
Z
Zeppo
About this time in my school year I felt the exact same way. Just remember your goals as to why you are in school in the first place to focus yourself and you'll start to notice things get better. I did.
My mom hates it when I go on the BB. She just doesn't get that I love reading and discussing what other people have to say about Buffy, since falling in with the show over the summer. It's the film/TV nerd in me that is never going away. To make matters worse, she calls me immature over the fact that I've watched Buffy and love it. She's never seen the show (she just thinks it's about vampires), so I hate it when she says things like that. Although I try to brush it off and ignore it, I want her to understand that I love it and I like to talk about it with other people who love it. But it just turns into another argument. Sigh.
 
X
xaphania
*hugs*
N
NL197
Last I looked this wasn't some bad influence or dangerous place, so it's really none of her business and that's too bad that she can't get it.
M
Marisa
I am sorry. My mom always says Marisa what are you doing? Would your mom ever consider watching Buffy? I got my mom into it and now she sees the light. I am so sorry StarSlayer.
Z
zobothehobo
I have the same problem with my dad.
S
sisterofmercy
If you enjoy it then surely it's good enough for her, it can't hurt you
Me and my roommate split the rent. We had reno's months ago and now I have a bigger room. Before that his room was the bigger room. He asks me if his girlfriend could move in which I am fine with. He expects me to pay 35% of the rent while they split the rest, making it 30% a peice for them AND he wants me to switch rooms with him.

1. When I said it was okay she moved in, I expected us all to be paying the same amount of rent. Yes, you are a couple but you are also 2 seperate people which means another person is now taking up space here.
2. I am willing to trade rooms because I don't want them to be uncomfortable in a smaller room but I'm not trading rooms for me - I love my room! I spend more time in my room than he does in his own and I'm willin to trade to be a nice rommie.
3. So why should I switch rooms - which I don't want to do - and pay more than them a piece? He makes it sound like a deal. It's not a deal, I think it's unfair.

So, I am going to propose that if we split the rent 3 ways I am willing to switch rooms with him. If he has his heart set on me paying more than them a piece I will do that but I will NOT switch rooms. If I'm gonna be paying more I will not downgrade in space.

I think that's fair.
 
Z
zobothehobo
I think you're suggestion is fair too
caitaintdead
caitaintdead
I've had to deal with the same thing. Make sure that the bills and rents gets split 3 ways evenly. It's the only way that's fair.
How the hell do you (meaning me) lose something in your (my) OWN house?!

I swear. I had my wallet Saturday when I was filling out job applications online and now it's suddenly disappeared. I turned my room inside frickin' out to look for it and it's totally gone. I haven't left the house, not even so much as to step outside, so it's obviously still here.

I didn't have any money; just my SS card and my license... which I need. A lot. Like... now.

ugh... I am so stupid!
 
Z
zobothehobo
I DO THAT ALL THE TIME
Z
Zeppo
Take your SS card out when you find it!! That's too important to risk someone else getting their hands on it, TRUST ME! And I can't find my ring. In my room. It's driving me crazy
caitaintdead
caitaintdead
Are you sure you haven't been broken into?
Dear "friends".

Please stop trying to make me feel like crap.

Thank you for reinforcing my eating disorder and also making me feel like shit so I don't have the confidence to talk to people I know give a damn, but feel too damn insecure about it now to bother them.

Hugs and best wishes; the effed up side of me.
 
caitaintdead agrees: Are you sure you haven't been broken into?

Oh, definitely not. There's 3 other people here round-the-clock. Plus two dogs that howl like crazy at the slightest noise.

I just lose things. In the process of looking for it, I found my house key, my hat, my dress, and some other stuff I lost months back, lol. But still no wallet.
 
Oh, definitely not. There's 3 other people here round-the-clock. Plus two dogs that howl like crazy at the slightest noise.

I just lose things. In the process of looking for it, I found my house key, my hat, my dress, and some other stuff I lost months back, lol. But still no wallet.

I lose stuff all. the. friggen. time. So I totally understand how frustrating it is. Just methodically look through everything in your house from room to room and it'll show up!
 
Marisa agrees: I am sorry. My mom always says Marisa what are you doing? Would your mom ever consider watching Buffy? I got my mom into it and now she sees the light. I am so sorry StarSlayer.

Maybe. I'd have to get the DVDs first, but she'd freak out if I spent money of them (yet, I'm planning to get them anyway...muhahaha!). She can be really stubborn with her opinions on things that it gets me frustrated. Like, I've also told her to start watching Glee because I think she would really like it. She said she probably should since it's so popular. But, she told me literally an hour ago that she doesn't like Glee, even though she's never seen an episode, because they made fun of Bill O'Reilly (I don't even remember the episode). And she loves him for some odd reason, lol!
 
O.M.G.

My mother hid my wallet. I left it in the living room, like I said earlier, while I was filling out applications and so she hid it "to teach me a lesson." Then, she FORGOT about it so we've spent all day bickering because she was blaming me for losing stuff and I was blaming her because she saw it last.

I just went into the kitchen and she and my dad were whispering. Then, she pulled out my wallet from one of the shelves and was like 'oh, NOW i remember!! I hid it from you! I forgot!!"

My parents are so annoying, lol. 😛
 
caitaintdead
caitaintdead
That's... sorry... but kinda funny... In a morbid kinda way!
Maybe. I'd have to get the DVDs first, but she'd freak out if I spent money of them (yet, I'm planning to get them anyway...muhahaha!). She can be really stubborn with her opinions on things that it gets me frustrated. Like, I've also told her to start watching Glee because I think she would really like it. She said she probably should since it's so popular. But, she told me literally an hour ago that she doesn't like Glee, even though she's never seen an episode, because they made fun of Bill O'Reilly (I don't even remember the episode). And she loves him for some odd reason, lol!
I see my mom was like I have heard of it but she could never watch it. I had her watch both Angel and Buffy and then problem solved she may love Spike more than me. I really hope you can sit her down and have her watch them because I think she will love them as much as you.
I know what you mean my mom can be stubborn to aren't we all? It just takes a little convincing. 😛
 
Got a nasty cough really annoying.

Be careful, the syrup for couphing is really addicting! It doesn't even taste good, but I always get addicted to it and drink it all even after I'm cured.... 😉

As for my issue, my school bag is now falling apart completely. (Well, what can I expect after years that I've used it, even in high school, and now now). Served me well. RIP.
 
MinwaraYana
MinwaraYana
RIP. ^_^ But I hope your new bag is nice. :)
D
Dancing man
lol i got take medicine really maybe thats why I still have it
MinwaraYana agrees: RIP. ^_^ But I hope your new bag is nice.

Oh, my old one wasn't that pretty (it was pretty simple), although I loved it. But my new bag is so pretty! I made a decision to buy Jansport bag only!
 
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