I was arguing about you giving Spike and Angel credit for deserving to be with Buffy, but because Xander made a few mistakes he doesn't deserve to be with her when he still stuck by her side, even though he's not perfect, and Spike and Angel left.
I see Buffy's side, I love Buffy, she's my favorite female character, but I can see Buffy and Xander's side as well. In Empty Places, I sympathized with Buffy and the Scoobies both, Buffy, Xander and Faith more than the others, but I sympathized with them all, and I can see the point of view of each one.
I posted this elsewhere, but I think it's place should be here: "In Empty Places, I actually sympathized with Xander, he was blindly following Buffy and was understanding that she didn't want to spend time with him at the hospital, but he couldn't go back to the same place where he lost his eye, especially when Giles revealed that Buffy didn't trust them, anymore. It does burn when you give a rousing speech about trusting someone, then you lose a part of your body because you trusted that someone so much you followed them regardless of your doubts, and in the end your discover that that certain someone doesn't trust you or think highly of you. Such a blow."
About Kick His Ass, Xander was in the wrong to hide this from Buffy. I wish the writers had dealt with this in S3.